If an AI robot lies to you what would you call it, mechanical bull?
You can swim with dolphins for free but to swim with sharks will cost you an arm and a leg.
Chuck Norris once attended a feminist rally.
He came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.
Kids like to pee their names in snow.
Chuck Norris pees his name in concrete.
My friend David lost his ID today.
Now I call him Dav.
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good.
Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught,
I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told,
"You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you."
The frog said, "That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," said the psychic, "Next term--in her biology class."
Just got a new car for my wife.
Best trade I ever made.
I'm not saying my girlfriend is fat but her birthstone is Chocolate.
You can tell that a man masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely you'll see a wedding ring.
What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles
Just met the vegetarian brother of Bruce Lee.
Brocco Lee.
Was listening to Elizabeth Warren on the car
radio when suddenly the "check injun" light came on.
Success is like a fart.............
It annoys people when it's not theirs.
An online survey .......
found that 0% of the world is Amish.
My sex life
When it comes to sex my wife likes to moan really loudly.
I just wish she'd do it during sex instead of before.
My wife has a whale tattooed on her butt.
It used to be a dolphin.