Clean Breakfast...
Joe: "This morning my dad gave me soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast."
Sam: "I bet you were mad."
Joe: "Mad? I was foaming at the mouth!"
Waiter: "How would you like your steak, sir ?"
Me: "Like winning an argument with my wife."
Waiter: "OK, rare it is then."
Wife: "Why did you cheat on me ?"
Me: "She was lying on the table naked. What was I supposed to do ?
Wife: "Perform the damn autopsy !"
I saw my wife putting on her sexy underwear this
morning. That can only mean one thing.................................................it's laundry day.
A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five-dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar.
The bartender picked up the five-dollar bill, folded it carefully, and tucked it in his vest pocket.
Just at that moment he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at him.
Doing a bit of fast thinking, he said, "Hi boss, did you see that fellow just now? Came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five-dollar tip, and rushed out without paying."
