One Liners...
A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house.
I lost twenty pounds. Unfortunately, I was in England at the
time.
Success is getting what you like, happiness is liking what
you get.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
The trouble with a three-day weekend is that it turns
Tuesday into Monday.
You think this is a free country until you move into a
subdivision with a homeowners' association.
The world is full of willing people, some willing to work,
the rest willing to let them.
Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to
see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
It never occurs to some people that there is a big
difference between giving advice and lending a hand.
Elections should be held on Christmas. That way, if we don't
like who we elect, we can exchange them.
If something goes without saying, let it!
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them
while driving.
If you want a new idea, read an old book.
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
You can't make your candle burn brighter by blowing out the
other fellow's.
I was stopped once for going 53 in a 35 mile zone, but I
told them I was dyslexic.
I figured out a way to slow down inflation. Turn it over to
a government worker!
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move
away is your husband.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is
that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
