Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

My neighbor
They say that mafia members are nasty people, but while growing up, I lived next door to one and he was actually a nice guy.
In fact, every morning, he paid me $20 just to start his car.

My cousin was devastated when the mob kicked him out.
He'll never fuggetaboutit.

I object and take exception to everyone saying thatthe President and Congress are spending money like a drunken sailor.
As a former drunken sailor, I quit when I ran out of money.