My wife always forgives me when she makes a mistake.
My wife claims she can read my mind, but she can't.
She's telepathetic.
It's a sin to love another man's wife...........
..........but punishment to love your own.
Marriages are made in heaven.
But so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes and hail.
When talking to your wife, remember this........
The conversation WILL be recorded for training and quality purposes.
A priest stands in front of his congregation holding 3 envelopes.
He says "I hold in my hands three sermons: a $1,000 sermon that lasts 15 minutes,
a $500 sermon that lasts 30 minutes, and a $100 sermon that lasts a full hour.
"Now we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver"
This just in
Chuck Norris admitted to using stunt doubles in his films.
But only for the crying parts
I don't repeat gossip,
so listen carefully the first time !
What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson buys a cutting tool ?
Rock pay-for-scissors.
Remember that joke I told about my spine ?
It was about a weak back.
