Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Man: "You've brought religion to my life."
Woman: "Really, how" ?
Man: "Until I started going out with you, I didn't believe in hell."

Would you like to become a Jehovah's Witness ?
Lawyer: "I didn't see the accident, but I might be interested in taking the case."

Jehovah's Witness' favorite band: The Doors

I went to college with a Muslim guy who was
notorious for being late to class. We called him 9/12.

I told the... ...waitress that the steak was bad.
She picked it up, slapped it a few times, put it back down on the plate and said,
"Let me know if it gives you any more trouble."

When the waitress brought me my steak, instead of putting it in front of me, she put it off to the side.
( It was a flank steak )

Waitress threw a steak at me one time
It was a chuck steak

What did the Indian kid say to his mother when
he left for school ? Mum-bai

My ex-wife married an Indian man.
( they worship cows )

What would you call a wreath made of 100 dollar bills?
Aretha Franklins.

Man killed by shark while on his honeymoon,
doctors said he didn't suffer much, he was only married 5 days !