My wife just renewed me for another season.
My wife says I can join a gang if I want........
....................but she wants me home by 9.
The secret to a happy marriage..................
........................is still a secret.
The 5 essential words for a happy marriage.
"I apologize" and "You are right"
"I'm Sorry", can only get you so far
after 53 years i have not made it to that point, yet
But then i rely on bribes , too
If you ever...
...fall down in public, pick yourself up and say, "Sorry, it's been a while since I inhabited a body."
Then just walk away.
I spent... ...last night defrosting the fridge.
Or foreplay, as she likes to call it.
My wife is an economist, and I am an engineer.
I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So, I said in my best engineer voice, “Hey sweetheart, why don’t you utilize the load maximization principle and carry all the items you need in one trip, thereby minimizing total distance travelled?”
Well don’t you know, she loved my suggestion!
It used to take her 11 minutes to make her breakfast… now I do it in 5.
Two inexperienced hunters were hunting in the woods. Before long, they got lost.
“Don’t worry,” said the first hunter. “I heard that if you’re lost, you fire three shots in the air so somebody will hear you.”
They fired three shots in the air and waited. A half-hour later they tried it again, and still no one heard them. Finally, they decided to try it a third time.
“This better work,” said the second hunter. “These are our last arrows...”
