"Careful, there's poop on the dance floor."
- how ballet was invented.
Beaver #1: "Sir, the river is running at full
capacity with no obstructions."
Beaver #2: "Dammit."
I just saved a man from drowning in a river.
I tossed him a bar of soap and he washed ashore.
When I was in Paris, I saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in the river. I know
........................................that's bat shit in Seine, isn't it ?
What state does the Mississippi River flow in ?
Liquid
I recently saw a catfish in our local river.
I wondered how he baited the hook with those little paws.
Her: “I’m going to have a baby!”
Him: “How wonderful, I’m going to be a father!”
Her: “Umm...that’s not what I said...
Pollen is actually plant sperm.
So that means allergies are Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
(How do you feel about sneezing now?
Guy covered his wife in flour, butter, milk, and jam
...................and boy was she pissed. ( hell hath no fury like a woman sconed )
Two red blood cells (talking to platelets):
#1 RBC: "I heard you tied the clot."
#2RBC: "Coagulations !"
Two gangs at the retirement home:
The Blood Clots and the Cripples
French military leader who would extract bone marrow:
Napolean Bone-apart
Marriage is like a casino.
You go in exited and optimistic, but end up
leaving drunk, broke, and talking to yourself.
How does one make a blonde laugh on Monday?
Tell her the joke on Friday
When you think about it........................
..........the best name for anti-diarrhea medication is already taken..................................gonorrhea.
I’d be so much happier if I wasn’t depressed.
A dude is lost on an ivy league campus...
He stops someone and asks, "Excuse me. Where's the library at?"
They respond, "My good fellow. This is an ivy league university. Here we do not end our sentences with a preposition."
The dude looks shocked and embarrassed. "I am so sorry. I seem to have forgotten myself. I meant to ask, 'Where's the library at, asshole?'"
What’s the difference between “incomplete” and “finished”??
– A man without a wife feels incomplete. Once married, he’s finished.
The pharmacy only had a generic version of my laxative medication.
I said, "Guess I'll just have to make doo with that."
My wife and I spend so much money on our
medicinal marijuana....................................we've had to open a joint account.
My doctor prescribed me the wrong ED medication.
Now I have thrust issues.
I mixed Viagra and another penis enlargement
medication together. It made me take a long, hard look at myself.
Susan be Anthony.
Yep, that's Dr. Fauci's stage name at the drag shows.
AI
