To Unsubscribe follow these directions
To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-O-Matic
Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from most
hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper permits to
operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Food and Drug
Administration in Washington D.C. USA.
Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its accompanying
mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of the perforated
Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the eight-millimeter torque
fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a 66 degree angle and properly
dispersed so that it is flush with the curved section of the Pyrex thistle
tube. Place the four sections of the triangular separation gear into the
posture cylinder and lock them into place using the band aid adhesive strip.
Insert the wiggling pin into the wobbling hole, making sure that it seated
correctly. Place the D cell battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power
chamber.
The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional digital
corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew
through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to touch the
reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the inverter drive
to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation
Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a 48-ounce ball-peen hammer while
shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the door to the incineration valve
compartment and set the pressure gauge to 719 psi. Close the door and seal it
shut with duct tape. The unit should now be properly calibrated and ready to
use.
Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit,
you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to insure
that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric pressure. Point
the aerial to 17 degrees north by northeast to within the parameters of the
Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the wing shaft on the
southern most section of the modular accelerator. Using the special ratchet
adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core to the "on" position.
The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash,
signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is off,
flip the toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count to 47
before logging on to the system.
Logon using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once prompted
you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to take and then
press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor while turning the
hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press control, alt, delete, caps
lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously. Press enter.
You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond in
the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.
Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to
unsubscribe from this service. I have made every attempt to simplify the
procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe policy
will result in immediate termination of your subscription, so please follow the
above directions closely.......LOL!!
ME!
