A.C.Simmonds and Sons Inc. (fka ACSX)

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This just in…..

Simmonds has started a new venture from jail. Details are a little sketchy, but it appears as though he has plans to monopolize the sale of Ramon noodles, Doritos, Toilet paper, and Astroglide throughout federal prisons in Canada.

When questioned by telephone regarding his newest venture he had this to say. “Now that I have had 8 months to consider my next venture, between visits by bubba and friends, I came to the realization that if I controlled the supply of these essential jailhouse commodities, I might have a chance at a normal bowel movement sometime soon. I won’t survive 6 more years at this rate.”

He then added. “Additionally, I have 2.7M$+ of restitution to pay back once I am released, and this venture will assist me in making a small dent in this debt obligation., which shows contrition and commitment. Besides, now that I control the supply of Astroglide and Toilet paper, I can ensure that no one in jail feels like they are in Chad, or something”

More to come on this developing story, so stay tuned.