Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

My wife sued for divorce because she said I couldn't get an erection.
I had hard evidence to the contrary, but it wouldn't stand up in court.

I give my proctologist a 7.2..................
.............................on the Sphincter Scale

I disagree, but my wife insists that............
..................30 minutes of begging doesn't constitute foreplay.

My wife likes that we practice safe sex.
I always put a pillow between her head and the headboard.

I wanted to do something special for my twin girls to express their individuality so I bought them matching t-shirts that say "I Am Unique!"

I was drinking...
...my milkshake on the edge of a cliff and thought,
"Wow! This is ledge-n-dairy!"

Congratulations George Floyd
2 years clean & sober.

A man's home is his hassle.

A man is only as old as the woman he feels.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's bumper sticker:
I TIME TRAVEL NAKED

You know you are old when
people no longer view you as a hypochondriac

I walked out my house this morning and a man threw milk and cheese at me.
I thought, “How dairy?”