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Wednesday, October 27, 2021 12:14:40 AM
It's how you keep the salaries and bonuses going while doing slow motion research for researches sake.
I can understand your cynicism but, no fkn dice baby :)
First, an increase in share price will dwarf any salary + bonus you are getting.
Second, I can assure you - having worked in a lab like this in a highly competitive field (genetically modified xenotransplantation) - the environment is the absolute opposite of "slow motion research for researches sake."
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You are CONSTANTLY watching the competition - while Constantly beating your lab techs to improve moral.
omg . . . the horrors (but research is so fking addicting too - worse than cocaine or nicotine . . . marriages are secondary and children are rarely remembered at all unless and until you go home . . . which you avoid doing at all cost sometimes . . . a folding cot, hot plate, plastic plates, a spork, and a towel (see: HHGTTG) in the office is the norm (but hid behind a fake bookshelf).
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Sometimes it's on your mind so much you find yourself standing in the bathroom, at the urinal, reading a competitor's just published paper, with your dick in your hand and . . . and suddenly you realize were finished pissing 37 minutes ago.
You kept standing there with your drained member in your hand bc you forgot you where you were, and because it's so nice and quiet and free of distractions that you absent mindedly stood there holding your drained member while imagining how much progress your competitors have made, how much more data they've accumulated since they submitted that paper likely 6-9 months ago . . .
and realizing that newly published paper you're holding in your sweaty-palmed hand Was VERY OLD News to them the day they submitted it for publication - likely 6-9 months ago . . . and you are just now seeing it . . .
(and if instead of standing at a urinal, you were reading it while sitting and after having emptied your bowels, it's probably more like an hour and 37 minutes when you suddenly realize you were finished and then notice there's no TP so use that newly published paper instead)
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