I was working late at the Cellphone Warehouse last night when I received this text from my wife:
"Honey,thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphone.
Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative."
And as I eagerly rushed home, I couldn't help but wonder...what the hell does "ternative" mean?
A recent survey has shown that 50% of newlyweds want to try anal sex.
Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
My ex-wife was deaf and she left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
A dung beetle goes into a bar...................
.............he doesn't order a drink, he just takes a stool.
Mexican beetle drummer: Gringo Starr
Why don't beetles go to church?
Because they are in sects.
Hear about the tic-tac-toe beetle?
It has an X-O skeleton.
A dung beetle goes to McDonalds.
He orders a #2 and asks them to super-size it.
A blonde arrives at work crying out loud
The boss asks worried what happened to her, to which she answers:
"I got a call this morning and found out my mother was dead."
The boss comforts her:
"Why don't you go home today to rest? We don't have too much work to do anyway."
The blonde refuses, saying that she better work to forget about the trouble.
Five minutes later the boss finds the blonde crying even louder.
"What else happened?" he asks her.
To which she responds:
"My sister just called and told me her mother died too."
