Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

I was making out with a girl on her sofa.
She said "Let’s take this upstairs".
“Ok” I said “ You grab one end and I’ll grab the other”

My dentist told me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?"
I said "Yes, I'm ready."
He said "I'm sleeping with your wife."

Investors Needed
For a new line of fake vegetables made of Meat.

Like my Grandpa used to say, “Marriage is like a horse with a broken leg. You can shoot it, but it won’t fix the broken leg”.

My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal
defecate in a French river. I told him that's bat shit in Seine.

What do you call a large mammal that lives in
swamps and shouts obscenities at passers by? A hippopottymouth.

I used to have a giant grey mammal, but I never had a use for it
and it was always off topic. It was completely irrelephant.

I'm starting a non-profit that specializes in rebuilding environments
for large sea mammals. I'm calling it Habitat for Huge Manatees.

Consider this....
If dentists make all their money from bad teeth why should we use toothpaste that 8 out of 10 dentists recommend.