Saturday, April 17, 2021 9:23:45 PM
Have him begin to practice swallowing foreign objects that will require emergency hospital admission, One timeless favorite is to swallow a razor blade, the old fashioned kind. The catch is, and you’ll have to emphasize this to DaCoyote, is to wrap the blade safely in radiolucent tape. After all he wants a trip to the endo-suite, not the morgue...
When I was an ER doc as a resident, we serviced the State Penitentiary. I met a felon there who could learn your favorite crook a thing or two.
This con obviously knew my attending quite well: I’m back again! How many, James? About 27!
On return from xray with an image similar to this,
the attending asked me
“What do you see, DrContango”
“Well, I see a 6 by 1 cm radiopaque intraabdominal foreign object”
“Well what is it?”
“I dunno...”
“Well ask the patient!”
“Uh, Sir, what did you swallow?”
“A spoon handle”.
“He swallowed a spoon handle.”
“Why would he swallow just a spoon handle?”
“I dunno...”
“WELL ASK THE PATIENT!!!”
“Uh, Sir. Why just the spoon handle?”
“Are you a FOOL, boy? Ya gots to break off the spoon end and hand it to the guard to prove that you swallowed the spoon handle!”
(true story!)
Doc
PS: I find it always wise to show deference to convicts whose biceps are larger than your thighs...
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