Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Top fatal things not to tell your pregnant wife.

“I finished the Oreos."

“Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs 40 pounds.”

“I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!”

“Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt.”

“Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

“Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”

“Get your own ice cream."

“Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today.”

“Got milk?

“Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!”

“Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water…”

And the Number 1 Fatal Thing To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant:
“You don’t have the guts to pull that trigger…”