Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party!

You know you’re getting older when an “all-nighter” means not getting up to pee.

With age comes skills, it’s called “multi-tasking”. Now you can laugh, cough, sneeze, fart, and pee all at the same time!

Of all the bears that could harm me ...
the gummy has come the closest.

Took my grandson to the zoo yesterday.
Grandson: "Look, it's a frickin' elephant !"
Me: "What did you just call it?"
Grandson: "It says so on the sign...............AFRICAN elephant."

Two old ladies at the movies.................
Lady 1: "I think the guy next to me is beating off."
Lady 2: "Why do you say that?"
Lady 1: "Because he's using my hand."