Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Saw a sign along the highway "END SHOULDER DRIVING." Well, okay, I'll use my arms, but it was a lot more exciting steering with my shoulder.

Why does the SLOW CHILDREN sign show a kid running?

WE STAND BEHIND OUR FURNITURE FOR 90 DAYS. No thanks, I'll buy our sofa somewhere else.

WATCH FOR FALLING ROCK. Am I supposed to watch it all the way until it hits the car?

Boasting about his fitness to a group of youngsters, an elderly man said: "Every morning, I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups, and I walk three miles. In fact, I bet I'm fitter than any of you. You know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women. And tomorrow I'm going to celebrate my eighty-eighth birthday !"
"Really?" said one of the youngsters. "How?"

Two spinsters, Ethel and Mabel, were talking in a nursing home. Ethel said: "Martha has just cremated her fifth husband."
"That's just the way it goes," said Mabel. "Some of us can't find a husband, and others have husbands to burn."