Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

This year for Xmas, I'm giving out lotto tickets.
Just don't start bitching and saying shit like "Hey, these are all losers and you've already scratched them off!"

One day a man knocked on his next door neighbors door in a very agitated state. He told the neighbor, "I want you to just look at this!"

The neighbor man said, "That's nothing. When we were boys, we used to pee our girlfriend's name in the snow all the time."

The man retorted, "But this is in her handwriting!"