"This is shit," I said.........................
while storming out of Anagrams Anonymous.
I was taking a driving lesson when the instructor said, "You need to change gear." I said, "Sorry, but I just feel more comfortable wearing this scuba oufit."
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I didn't give up drinking, I just have a really bad hangover this morning.
I used to be in a band called "Missing Dog." You've probably seen our posters.
I'm one of those guys who shouts their own name during an orgasm, just to see the reaction of their partner.
I got on the bus pissed and stoned out of my mind. An old lady said to me, "You're going to hell, mister." So I got off the bus.
I love a good meal..................................so I never cook.
If I ever get taken in for questioning..............I hope there's no algebra.
I keep getting homophobia and claustrophobia mixed up. Which is the one about being in a closet?
My granny lives in the past...................because in the present she's dead.
