Found my car up on blocks this morning.
I will look tirelessly to find the culprit.
People will generally accept facts as truths
only if the facts support what they already believe.
"Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding,
disbelief or ignorance."
Make sure your Viagra says Made in the USA.
You don't want the Russians meddling in our erections.
Viagra for Vampires.
Seek immediate medical attention if your
reflection lasts longer than four hours.
I see nothing but continued growth and expansion
for the foreseeable future............but enough about my diet.
Since passing my art exam, I've become very patronizing. If you don't know what that means, I'll draw you a picture.
At my last job interview, I told my interviewer that I plan to give 110 percent.
Unfortunately, I was applying to be a statistician.
I have a superiority complex. I'll wait while you look that up.
My wife knows about the secret mind-reading classes I've been taking. Well, she never actually said it but..................
To be fair...................................I dye my hair blonde.
I got caught stealing full stops. I'm looking at a lengthy sentence.
I just figured out that "I have no life" is an anagram of "alone high five."
I won gold at a weather forecasting event...
I beat the raining champion.
I'm hoping to cure my hiccups...................
..............but I'm not holding my breath.
I went to my doctor and said, "I'm afraid of lapels."
He said, "You have cholera."
