Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Have you ever noticed the irony behind
“hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?

Word on the street is:
this is a bus-only lane.

Slept like a log last night. . .
Woke up with my head in the fireplace.

Women are like swimming pools; they cost a great deal of money
to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

I hope Death is a woman,
that way, it will never come for me.

Went to a meating last week,
the place was full of butchers.

If I had a crystal ball
I'd sit down very carefully.

A lot of women actually turn into good drivers,
so if you're a good driver, watch out for women turning.

I just walked into the local liberal bookstore
and asked for Trump's new immigration book.
The owner said "Get the fuck out!"
I said, "Yeah, that one."