Do you know what really grinds my gears?
Nothing. I'm German and my engineering is perfect.
During my check-up I asked the Doctor,
"Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?"
He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."
Saudi Arabia’s gay pride anthem.
“We will! We will! Rock you!”
Some people don't think Justin is the prime minister of Canada.
It's Trudeau.
I can't find my 'Gone in 60 seconds' dvd.
It was here a minute ago.
A couple go to a marriage counselor.
The counselor sits them down and says:
The first thing we need to do is establish some rules and rule number one is to stop calling each other insulting names.
Unless of course your real names are Needle dick and Canyon cunt.
Another couple go to a marriage counselor.
The counselor asks what seems to be the problem.
The wife blurts right out "He suffers from premature ejaculation."
The counselor asks "Is this true?"
"Well to be perfectly honest, she's the only one that suffers"
With all the politically correct agenda these days, you can’t even say Black Paint!
You have to say, “ Leroy, please paint my fence!”
