The Old Timers Club

[mnfats]

I'm so old:
... I remember what it was like before the good old days.
... I knew the First of the Mohicans.
... my first beer was a New Milwaukee.
... when I was a boy Mad Magazine was only slightly peeved.
... undertakers think I'm an escapee.
... Abraham Lincoln's high school was named after me.
... AARP stopped sending me renewal notices.
... I broke the fountain of youth when I stuck my toe in it.
... I spent my college spring breaks partying in Sodom Gomorrah.
... everything I buy has a lifetime guarantee.
... that's not hair on my head, it's mold.
... I remember when the Garden of Eden was just a vacant lot.
... my dreams are sepia toned.
... monkeys evolved from me.
... I creak when I blink.
... my library card says "Alexandria."
... when I order a 3 minute egg they ask for the money up front."