The Old Timers Club (Get off my lawn)

[pos_stock_hoarder]

911? I'd like to report an suicide attempt in progress!

[getmoreshares]

😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 pic.twitter.com/g7eBKMVulg

— 🦋🦋CutThroatClassy🦋🦋 (@MakingtheDoh) April 24, 2024

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Snort! Chortle!

[getmoreshares]

Oh lord 🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/yoeRLNeozM

— 🦋🦋CutThroatClassy🦋🦋 (@MakingtheDoh) April 25, 2024

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Oh man, this one is cruel!

[getmoreshares]

Uh oh 🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/07m0j9UzFG

— 🦋🦋CutThroatClassy🦋🦋 (@MakingtheDoh) April 24, 2024

[pos_stock_hoarder]

A random repeat. Was a perfect fit for the board and still is!

[getmoreshares]

A teacher was explaining biology to her third grade students.

She said, "Human beings are the only creatures that studder."

A little girl raised her hand, saying, "I once had a cat that stuttered."

The teacher asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was In the backyard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lived next door jumped over the fence into our yard!"

The teacher said, "That must have been scary!"

The little girl said, "It sure was.

My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss, Sssss, Sssss,' and before she could say 'Sh*t' the dog ate her.

I'll show myself out but I want my like dadgummit!!

[getmoreshares]

One day a politician's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the politician tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.

Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the politician finally looked down the well.

He was astonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the politician's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.

Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!

Shake it off and take a step up.

Enough of that crap…

The donkey later came back and bit the sh*t out of the politician who had tried to bury him.

The gash from the bite got infected, and the politician eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY’S LESSON:

When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Um....no comment.....

[pos_stock_hoarder]

[getmoreshares]

😂😂 pic.twitter.com/wBYKeay7j4

— Becs 🇬🇧 (@becs2986) April 22, 2024

[getmoreshares]

😂 pic.twitter.com/v1SbifrC9b

— Becs 🇬🇧 (@becs2986) April 23, 2024

[getmoreshares]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/hU08D9VMJh

— Becs 🇬🇧 (@becs2986) April 22, 2024

[getmoreshares]

Brutal 😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/omjCxyaTV2

— Becs 🇬🇧 (@becs2986) April 22, 2024

[pos_stock_hoarder]

[getmoreshares]

😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/yxdriXvLHC

— Becs 🇬🇧 (@becs2986) April 22, 2024

[Gmenfan]

I can't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Sixties groaner!

[getmoreshares]

put a couple on mens campfire---- https://investorshub.advfn.com/Mens-Campfire-9931

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Run! This is unprecedented! Who knows what is coming next!!!!

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Now this is some good advice! Thanks!

[pos_stock_hoarder]

I'd like to have a word with you re. this advice. Still pulling stingers out of my face! 😵

[getmoreshares]

Asking for a friend. 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/usGBaG3PbX

— 🇺🇸𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓭🇺🇸𝓗𝓪𝓻𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓷🇺🇸 (@Texas_jeep__guy) April 19, 2024

[getmoreshares]

pic.twitter.com/dktOVzZRnk

— 1776 2.0? (@ChrisSi39851937) April 19, 2024

[getmoreshares]

GOOD FRIDAY MORNING! As you plan your chores for this weekend, I would like to share another pearl of wisdom.....👇 pic.twitter.com/0lfsQlB6xB

— Dave LC (@DaveCarver20) April 19, 2024

[getmoreshares]

Had to post. pic.twitter.com/8gcnHl0i3C

— TheyCallMeDoc (@TheyCallMeDoc1) April 19, 2024

[getmoreshares]

pic.twitter.com/hkmmoq8ohQ

— 1776 2.0? (@ChrisSi39851937) April 18, 2024

[Gmenfan]

A classic and still thoughtful and true answer.

[Seminole Red]

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that moment, I would have needed to clarify that men ponder deeply on diverse subjects, sparking further inquiries.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Some of you gents might like this one too.

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Love it!

[getmoreshares]

Do you watch reality shows and talent shows??? pic.twitter.com/0QapKLrP5f

— Lorraine Y (@kenyladyde) April 18, 2024

[getmoreshares]

pic.twitter.com/Q8bJ3v9JWh

— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) April 18, 2024

[Gmenfan]

Same for me except for the motorcycle.

[pos_stock_hoarder]

I'm a card carrying member!

[getmoreshares]

pic.twitter.com/PWOaKWmRpO

— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) April 17, 2024

[getmoreshares]

pic.twitter.com/Mkx5nsjk1o

— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) April 17, 2024

[Seminole Red]

lol

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Rookie move!

[Seminole Red]

[getmoreshares]

https://twitter.com/Deb_Waffles2020/status/1779916526457368749

[pos_stock_hoarder]

So true.

[pos_stock_hoarder]

We're busted, gents!

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Riddle me this.

[pos_stock_hoarder]

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, how was that?"

The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?

Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"
The AirBus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."

The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seem to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.

This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older and Smarter.

Dedicated to all my senior friends ~ it’s time to slow down and enjoy the rest of the trip....

[getmoreshares]

pic.twitter.com/avz8zuah9r

— TheyCallMeDoc (@TheyCallMeDoc1) April 13, 2024

[getmoreshares]

pic.twitter.com/Lw0fyzheGN

— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) April 13, 2024

[Gmenfan]

Probably already is!!!

[pos_stock_hoarder]

He still has a chance to join the Biden team!