“Did you have any idea that
he would turn out this way, Mrs. Ice?”
“Not at all. He was a nice nice baby.”
On the first date:
Her: So are you a cat person or a dog person?
Me: I don’t see either on the menu. What page are you on?
A man was killed with a starting pistol today...
Police think it may be race-related...
Down on Sesame Street:
"Hey Ernie, would you like a delicious frozen dessert that's not quite as good as ice cream?"
"Sherbert"
I received a flier on anger management the other day...
THEN I LOST IT!!
Guy calls in on radio show
Guy: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
Host: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
Guy: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan.
I went to a voodoo prostitute last night.
Didn't manage to get laid but got a little head...
