Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

The Earth means the world to me.

"Misinformed" doesn't mean what I thought it meant.

A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference
For example:
Johnny enjoys eating a chocolate chip cookie.
Johnny enjoys eating a chocolate chip colon.

Semi-colons are half assed.

I made a Hawaiian pizza last night but burnt it.
I should have put the oven on Aloha setting.

I came into a large sum of money recently...
Which is weird, because I normally just use paper towels.

Scientists just discovered that dolphins
are the smartest mammals, second only to man..
That makes women third.

My wife and I enjoy having Olympic sex...
Once every four years...

A friend came over upset.
He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin.
I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.