A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed,
hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling
slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image,
walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties).
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a
drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here
often?"
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An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a
set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor
and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family
must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've
changed my will three times!"
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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the
other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just
full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age.
How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a new-born baby."
"Really? Like a new-born baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house,
and after eating, the wives left the table and went into
the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night
we went out to a new restaurant and it as really great. I would
recommend it very highly.
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of
that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's
red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned
towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name
of that restaurant we went to last night?
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Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being
discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I
found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on
the bed with suitcase at his feet - - who insisted he didn't
need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being
rules,
he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said "She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown."
