Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

My wife got paid for being in a study at the sleep clinic.
She thought she had finally found her dream job.

I used to be a sanitation engineer,
but the city dumped me.

I went ten years in a row without brushing
my teeth and ended up with terrible tooth decade.

I hate it when people get simple sayings wrong.
I mean it's not rocket surgery.

I just read through six pages in a dictionary.
I learned next to nothing.

I asked my cellmate how long he's in for.
He said "Until I ejaculate"

After getting the windows on my car tinted black
I showed it to my wife.
She said, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that thing!"
I said, "That's the point."

"You fantasize about my best friend, don't you?" asked my wife.
"If given the choice..." I replied, "I'd rather have sex with you then her."
"You mean 'than'."
"No."