I saw a post on Craigslist that said: Radio for sale, $1. Volume knob stuck on full. I thought to myself, I can't turn that down!
Instead of "who's your daddy" I accidentally said "how's your daddy". We put our clothes back on and started discussing her dad's cholesterol
Porn stars are poorer than we think. When is the last time you saw one able to even afford a pizza?
saw a chicken staring angrily at the road. I wondered, "Why did the road cross the chicken?"
My girlfriend said she wanted to try lunges. That's a big step forward.
My wife and I were having sex the other night and she looked at me with a mischievous smile and said, "Turn the light off and stick it in my butt". I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool first
The swordfish has no natural predators to be afraid of. Except for the penfish, which is thought to be mightier
Every time I go through a fast food window, they hand me my food and say “sorry about the weight.” I know I could lose a few pounds but this is just rude
I was nervous no one would come to the Premature Ejaculation Anonymous meeting. Luckily, everyone came earlier than expected!
For Halloween I'm dressing up as a plate. Girls love to do dishes
I didn't know what to wear to the Premature Ejaculation Anonymous meeting, so I just came in my pants
I knew a girl in college who would sleep with guys for free Adderall. She was a real attention whore
