Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Friend: "Why don't you take your wife to the zoo today."
Me: "No. If they want her, they can come and get her."

If Sir Anthony Hopkins is Welsh, why has he never been accused of having sex with sheep?
Due to the silence of the lambs.

I broke up with my wife last night.
She said: "Is it really over?"
I said: "It couldn't be more over if you started singing."

This morning my wife burst in the kitchen.
What a hell of a mess.

A limbo dancer married a locksmith.
The wedding was low key.