A friend of mine swallowed some Legos.
The doctors aren't too worried, but he's shitting bricks.
A truckload of Vicks Vapor Rub overturned on the freeway today. Police say there will be no congestion for at least eight hours.
I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan. Someone's going to be wrong.
Did you hear about the carpenter who
accidentally sat on his electric drill ? He was bored to tears.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles ? The doctor said they would eventually pass naturally....................but not in so many words.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall..................
...............and a pretty good spring and summer too.
The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!" the shaken man told the cop. "The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?" "I recognized the laugh!" he replied.
Three guys are debating who has the best memory. First guy says, "I can remember the first day of my First Grade class." Second guy says, "I can remember my first day at Nursery School!" Not to be outdone, the third guy says, "Hell, that's nothing... I can remember going to the senior prom with my father, and coming home with my mother!"
