Saturday, January 16, 2016 9:28:55 PM
Sept 30, 2015:
WMIH "Hey Mills family, I heard that you want to sell a part of your company? I got money and I'm buying."
Mills "Sounds interesting, lets see what you're offering."
Fast forward October 13, 2015
WMIH "C'mon man, I only got this much! WE'RE SO CLOSE!"
Mills "No way! You don't have enough, stop calling us!" *click* "Hey competition, you still offering us more than WMIH?"
News of Mills Fleet Farm sale unnerves hometown
.... meanwhile.....
WMIH "Hey KKR, I need help. I tried buying but I don't have enough cash."
KKR "Don't worry bro, I got your back."
During the three months ended September 30, 2015, the Company identified a potential acquisition opportunity and participated in a competitive sale process with respect to an operating division of a public company. However, we were not able to reach a definitive agreement for the transaction and discussions ceased on October 13, 2015.
*Rings*
KKR "Mills? I'll pay you more than the other guy."
Mills "Who is this? KKR? MORE MONEY? Deal!"
End of November 2015 and beginning of Dec 2015.
KKR "Hey WMIH, they agreed to the deal. Just gotta get that investment loan from that bank."
WMIH "Awesome! Thanks!"
The New York-based firm, run by legendary dealmakers Henry Kravis and George Roberts, was almost a handshake away from clinching the deal in late November. KKR knocked on the door of more than 20 banks, including some it rarely borrows from, as it sought financing for the deal, but none would provide the full debt package the buyout firm was seeking, according to sources familiar with the events
KKR "Hey WMIH. Banks are being weird, but don't worry we'll get the money. It'll take a little longer than I thought." "Hey Mills, we'll have the money by the end of year, don't you worry."
Mills "You better or we're going with the other guy."
WMIH *Happy panda -> sad panda -> worried panda*
KKR in the lead to acquire U.S. retailer Mills Fleet Farm: sources
Jan 2016
KKR and Mills *shakes hands* "Good doing business."
KKR to Buy Midwest Retail Chain Mills Fleet Farm
KKR "WMIH, SOON! SOON!! MUWHAHAHAHA! $$$$$$"
WMIH "HOORAYYY!!! MUWHAHAHAHHA! $$$$$$"
------
Yeah... I was bored and had too much time on my hands.
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