The Redneck Guide to Dating Etiquette
1. Do not enter your date in a female mud-wrestling
contest without asking her permission.
2. Do not refer to your hunting dog as "the other
woman in your life."
3. Do not mention your UFO abduction experiences until
at least the third date.
4. Do not expect a woman wearing a dress to be happy
about climbing into a truck with tires that are
taller than she is. Be sure to warn her to wear
jeans.
5. Your favorite faded Dukes of Hazard t-shirt should
be saved for the fifth or more date, unless, of
course, it's the only clean shirt you have.
6. If the woman drives, never, ever try to get away
with spitting tobacco down the side of your seat
on the hope that she won't notice. She's not like
your slobbering fishing buddies, so you must always
roll down your window when you need to spit.
7. Never compare her figure to that of a Coors can,
even if you're trying to tell her that she's real
sleek.
8. Deep Woods Off! is not a substitute for deodorant.
9. Never tell a woman straight out that you can't
have her name tatooed on you because your Mom, who
is so proud of your bicep bearing her name, would
be psychotically jealous.
10. Do not invite a woman to go cow-tipping if she's
wearing high heels.
#board-2412
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle
