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A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow, he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew. He finally made his way to a side aisle and into a confessional.
A priest had been observing the man's sorry progress. Figuring the fellow was in need of some assistance, he proceeded to enter his side of the confessional. His attention was rewarded only by a lengthy silence.
Finally he asked, "May I help you, my son?"
"I dunno." came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any toilet paper on your side?"
Here you go something so true! : )
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T !"
"Don't what ?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit ? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit !"
"No Way ! "
"Yes way! "
"Do NOT eat the fruit ! " said God.
"Why ? "
"Because I am your Father and I said so ! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? " God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you ? " said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it ! " Adam said.
"Did not ! "
"Did too ! "
"DID NOT ! "
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
Quick, send this on to ten people within the next five minutes.
Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing
The more the merrier!
Subject: Children
Here you go something so true! : )
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T !"
"Don't what ?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit ? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit !"
"No Way ! "
"Yes way! "
"Do NOT eat the fruit ! " said God.
"Why ? "
"Because I am your Father and I said so ! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? " God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you ? " said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it ! " Adam said.
"Did not ! "
"Did too ! "
"DID NOT ! "
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
Quick, send this on to ten people within the next five minutes.
Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing
Subject: History of the Middle Finger
Well, now...... here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel
compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too,
will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the
English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.
Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English
longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This
famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act
of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and
began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated
French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!
Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the
beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative 'F', and thus the words
often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!
It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow
that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!
I feel your "madness" is playing right into his hands. Every reply to one of his outrageous posts draws more attention to him and that is what he wants. I've watched him operate in the same fashion on other boards. In one instance the company took action and he lost his posting priviledgesd. In a second instance the users united and just refused his bait-He got tired of talking to himself and left. Try it you might like it.
Don't think so. The hedge funds who naked short this stock are still making the price moves they want.
Subject: UNION Rules & Benefits !!!!!!
A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't." "Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house.We observe all union rules."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the union man said. He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd like her," he said.
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a
92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
SCROLL DOWN
You got Male!
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"
It is really taking you a very long time to recognize Charely for what he is. He follows the same tactics on other boards and has been banned from ssome as a result. You'll never learn anythinjg from him and equally you'll never make any impression on him either.
Exactly. But if you do call Lutz suggest you have a specific complaint to relay to him, along with your recommended fix.
Your Diet!
CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
For those of you who watch what you eat,
here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth
after all those conflicting
nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
NewMarket Technology, Inc. Signs Contract with Fortune 100 Global Enterprise
Upcoming Latin America Trade Mission to Feature New Client
DALLAS--(BUSINESS WIRE) July 20, 2006 – NewMarket Technology, Inc. (OTCBB:NMKT) today announced a new contract with a Fortune 100 Global Enterprise. The Company will implement a knowledge management system and web based e-learning solution. The three year contract is a significant expansion with an existing client and is expected to result in a substantial increase to NewMarket’s total revenue.
The new contract was signed by NewMarket’s regional operation in Latin America. The client is Petróleos de Venezuela, S.A. (PDVSA), the Venezuelan state-owned petroleum company. PDVSA is one of the top suppliers of oil to the United States. Venezuela has the largest hydrocarbon reserves in the Western Hemisphere, representing approximately half the region's reserves, which positions the country as fifth in the world in proven reserves. PDVSA production exceeds 3 million barrels a day with current capacity to expand to 4 million barrels per day. PDVSA owns Citgo and operates 14,000 retail gas stations in the US. PDVSA has forecasted US$75 billion in revenue in 2006. PDVSA invests over US$400 million a year in IT. The current contract with NewMarket is valued between US$7 and $10 million over three years.
NewMarket has operations headquartered in Venezuela and Brazil with over US$20 million in forecasted revenue in 2006. NewMarket plans to aggressively expand operations in the Latin American region. In conjunction with the Company’s business development plans, NewMarket will host a Trade Mission for interested investors to learn more about NewMarket’s Latin America expansion to include direct investment opportunities in the NewMarket Latin American subsidiary. The Trade Mission is scheduled for the 20th of August with a duration of 10 days. The Trade Mission delegates will visit NewMarket operations in Sao Paulo, Brazil; Santiago, Chile and Caracas Venezuela. To learn more about the Trade Mission or future Trade Mission opportunities please contact Karin Gil at kgil@newmarkettechnology.com or (972) 386-3372 ext. 3066
More Illegal Activity on Wall Street
Short-Selling Inquiry Is Widened
To Cover Stock-Lending Business
By RANDALL SMITH
July 18, 2006; Page C3
Federal prosecutors and civil regulators have opened a new front in their probes of the mechanics of short selling, according to people familiar with the case.
The Justice Department's U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of New York in Brooklyn is investigating possible overcharging in the stock-lending business, including the use of bogus "finder's fees," the same people said. The prosecutors are working with regulators at the Securities and Exchange Commission and the New York Stock Exchange, a unit of NYSE Group Inc.
Stock lending is an important part of short selling, in which investors sell borrowed stock in hopes of buying it back at a lower price. The improper finder's fees came to light last week in an NYSE regulatory action against one of the NYSE's major "specialist firms" that direct trading on the floor, the specialist unit of Van der Moolen Holding NV, based in the Netherlands.
The NYSE regulators fined Van der Moolen $3.5 million for allegedly overcharging customers with finder's fees and interest rates that were as much as 13 percentage points above market. Van der Moolen consented to the charges without admitting or denying wrongdoing. (On Friday, two former NYSE specialist traders at Van der Moolen Specialists USA were each convicted of securities fraud.)
The prosecutors and regulators are focusing not only on individuals involved in the Van der Moolen case but also on a few other firms that engage in stock lending, according to the people familiar with the case. The probe by the prosecutors was earlier reported by TheStreet.com Inc.
The latest probe follows separate civil lawsuits and regulatory investigations of the influence of short selling on independent research, and how short selling may have contributed to the steep decline of the price of Vonage Holdings Corp. after its initial public offering in May.
Biovail Corp., a specialty pharmaceuticals company that has tangled with short sellers, filed a civil lawsuit in February alleging that a hedge fund conspired with an independent research firm to drive down Biovail's stock price. And last month the NYSE asked Wall Street firms for information about procedures they used to facilitate borrowing in shares of Vonage when it first began trading.
Prime brokers that provide stock-lending services to hedge funds are allowed to facilitate such sales if they have "reasonable grounds" to believe the stock can be borrowed. But a recent civil lawsuit against the largest prime brokers alleged that sometimes such brokers charge fees for such loans without actually borrowing the stock.
As the Van der Moolen case suggests, market rates for such transactions may not be widely known. Indeed, a former consultant at Morgan Stanley, one of the largest prime brokerage firms, was arrested Friday and charged with conspiracy for allegedly improperly emailing rates charged to specific customers for prime brokerage services.
The consultant, Ira Chilowitz, along with an unnamed co-conspirator who formerly worked as a Morgan Stanley prime brokerage salesman, planned to use the data to help customers of Morgan Stanley and other firms negotiate better rates, according to a Federal Bureau of Investigation complaint and affidavit.
Morgan Stanley said in a statement that it sought the action by Manhattan federal prosecutors to safeguard its confidential customer information. A lawyer for Mr. Chilowitz, Peter Batalla Jr., said his client is "innocent and will defend the charges against him."
Are we teaching this technique of Democrcy to the Iraquis??
COMMENTARY
By Robert Bazell
Chief science and health correspondent
NBC News
Updated: 4:53 p.m. ET July 17, 2006
Robert Bazell
Chief science and health corresponde
Call it the great stem cell sham.
On Capitol Hill they know the script. In the next few days the Senate will debate and approve three measures covering embryonic stem cell research. President Bush will exercise the first veto of his administration, and Congress will fail to override it.
Nothing will change, except that many senators, taking little risk in this election year, will be able to say they took principled stands for — or against — the research. In some cases, they will claim both.
Here is a guide to the research and the bills up for consideration.
The research
Most everyone knows by now that embryonic stem (ES) cells are capable of becoming any type of cell in the body — blood, eyes, muscle, nerve, brain and bone, to name a few.
Many scientists believe they hold the as yet unproven possibility of providing treatments for many diseases, including Parkinson’s, diabetes, spinal cord injury and cancer. The term "stem cell" creates confusion because there are many types of stem cells in the human body. The stem cell in the bone marrow for example can become any type of blood cell. But while adult stem cells might help with some diseases, many leading researcher believe ES cells hold by far the greatest promise.
The dilemma
Scientists obtain ES cells only by destroying embryos — at a stage when they are still a clump of cells invisible to the naked eye — less than a week after the egg was fertilized. There is no shortage. More than 400,000 remain frozen in fertility clinics across the country.
Stem cell therapy is still years away
Is stem cell vote good news for Democrats?
Newsweek: The GOP's stem cell dilemma
Message Board: What do you think about the future of stem cell research?
Some people regard the destruction of these embryos as a desecration of human life. Others do not. Therein lies the ethical dilemma.
In one of his first major acts as President, Bush attempted to forge a compromise by declaring that federal funding could pay only for research on cell lines that were already in existence in 2001. That Solomon-like effort simply failed.
Today, there are about 21 existing human ES lines and many technical issues limit the research with them. The U.S. government, largely through the National Institutes of Health, pays for most significant basic research — not just in this country, but throughout the world.
Many scientists believe the Bush restrictions have severely limited the research on ES cells. That is why advocates for people with diseases and disabilities, including such luminaries as Christopher Reeve, Michael J. Fox and Nancy Reagan have argued forcefully to end the restrictions
The major bill
By far the most significant piece of legislation is a Senate bill identical to a measure authored by Rep. Mike Castle, R-De., which passed the House last year by a vote of 238 to 194. This is what the stem cell research advocates view as the minimum necessary to advance the field. The bill would lift most restrictions on federal funding for ES research.
The key exception: the actual destruction of the embryo cannot be paid by the federal government money. So, with private money, a researcher could go to a fertility clinic, and so long as the parents who produced the embryo give permission, he could harvest stem cells from a frozen embryo. Then, the same or a different scientist could use an NIH grant to work with the cells.
The Senate decided to vote on this bill without allowing any amendments. Since the House approved it already that means it will go straight to the President for his veto.
The frivolous bills
The two Republican Senators from Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum and Arlen Specter, authored one of the companion bills. It directs the federal government research establishment to search for means of obtaining embryonic stem cells from sources other than human embryos.
This is meaningless for two reasons.
The NIH and other agencies can already fund such research. The bill provides no new money to do it. And, although some complicated schemes have been proposed, no one knows how this could be accomplished. Its main goal is provide cover allowing anti-stem cell senators to say they are doing something positive
The third bill, the “Fetus Farming Prohibition Act” from Sen. Santorum, along with Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan, would make it a crime to use stem cells (or any other tissue) if the material comes from a pregnancy initiated and terminated specifically to produce tissue. It also prohibits using tissue from human embryos grown in animals.
No one I know is considering either scenario. As I mentioned, 400,000 frozen embryos remain in laboratory freezers so there is no need for wild schemes to get more.
The end game
Sources say Mr. Bush will veto only the substantive bill.
The other two will pass the House quickly after the Senate approves them and the President will sign those into law. There is a slight chance the Senate will override the veto of the main bill, but the House definitely will not.
The entire process will be orchestrated so that the President’s veto and the failed overrides will take place in less then 24 hours — as one legislative aide told me, “within one news cycle” — to minimize the publicity.
Show over.
MORE FROM SECOND OPINION
NBC: What's wrong with a little sun?
• Second Opinion: Stem cell vote a sham• NBC: What's wrong with a little sun?• When reality doesn't match the spin• Why did we wait so long to report AIDS?• Evolution spat misses point• Bubba blew it. But can health care be fixed?• Why isn't AIDS testing routine yet?• Cancer drugs priced for the fortunate few• Tests lead to early Alzheimer’s diagnosis• Living with Alzheimer's disease• Second Opinion Section Front
Add Second Opinion headlines to your news reader:
Ignoring him drove him off the Raging Bull Boards. In addition to this tactic, I think Phil's lawyers had a hand in this also.
I think you are tilting at wind mills. It is the naked shorters who control the share price. Retail small investors have no influence at all IMO.
SEC probing 'free lunch' offers aimed at elderly
Agency looking into 40 firms operating across Sun Belt
Updated: 7:55 p.m. ET July 17, 2006
WASHINGTON - Forty investment firms across America’s Sun Belt are under federal examination over so-called “free lunch” investment seminars that target elderly victims, authorities said Monday.
In six states with large retiree populations, the Securities and Exchange Commission is looking hard at seminars where seniors get a free meal and a hard sell for investments that can range from inappropriate to fraudulent.
“Regulators are now examining 40 firms and more firms have been identified for examinations,” said Lori Richards, director of the SEC’s Office of Compliance Inspections and Examinations at a conference on senior fraud. She did not name the firms.
At the conference, a study was released with a finding that surprised some officials — elderly victims of investment fraud seem to be more financially literate than non-victims.
The finding in the study sponsored by markets watchdog NASD led to suggestions that financial education needs to cover more than market mechanics and include teaching about scam tactics.
From verbal bullying to impersonating authority figures and playing on feelings of insecurity or greed, swindlers use a range of techniques to part seniors from their money.
“The reason people victimize seniors is because that’s where the money is,” said Linda Thomsen, director of the SEC’s Division of Enforcement at the conference.
Nearly half of all investor complaints received by state securities regulators involve senior citizens and that figure looks sure to rise as baby boomers age, said the North American Securities Administrators Association.
Already in Florida, 75 percent of all investor complaints come from seniors, the association said in another study.
“Senior investment fraud is a serious and ongoing problem and we fear that it will only grow without targeted enforcement and enhanced investor education,” said Wisconsin Securities Administrator Patricia Struck, the association’s president.
Scams often perpetrated against the aged include affinity frauds, where the perpetrators prey on people with shared interests, such as church membership or a profession; and variable annuity sales that put seniors into unsuitable or costly investment products.
“Viatical” and “life settlement” scams are common. In these, seniors sell the death benefit of life insurance policies at a discount for cash. Then a broker sells shares to investors who are told they will get a proportionate share of the death benefit when the insured dies. These high-risk schemes often end up cheating investors, officials said.
Another common elderly scam, said the California Department of Corporations, are “CD+ bonus” deals. In these, promises of high returns and bonus payments on low-risk certificates of deposit are used to lure seniors who are then talked into buying some other form of investment.
Similar “bait and switch” schemes proliferate, as do charity scams that exploit the sympathy and generosity of seniors, often by linking a scam to a recent tragedy.
The 40 firms being examined by the SEC over “free lunch” programs are in Florida, California, Arizona, Texas, North Carolina and Alabama, said Richards.
The seminars are often held in local restaurants and hotels, promoted as being hosted by other seniors who may be familiar to local people and seem trustworthy. These pitchmen promote a wide range of products, suitable and otherwise.
“Some of the sales materials we’re seeing in these seminars are loaded with exaggerated claims and gimmicks ... Some of these sales seminars seem to be completely unsupervised” by the sponsoring investment firms, Richards said.
The investors who look at message boards for DD on their choices are not large enough investors to care about. The big boys don't come here. Just how many shares do you think are held by the users of this board??? I'd bet only a small fraction of the total outstanding.
TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
==========================================================
TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing
the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was,
"Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was
trying to breathe.
If the majority of users of this message board put him on ignore it would defang him.
I feel that this guy is EVEN from the Raging Bull born with a new alias. I believe it was action taken by Phil with Yahoo that revoked his posting priviledges thereon. Along with him Tisheri was also banished. Wonder if Phil will do the same here??
Charlie trapped you into answering his drivel. That's one of his major goals-get posters to answer for it draws the attention of others to his posts. If you want to really improve your ability to respond to him perhaps putting you next to him on an ignore list would help?????
Where are all the DOD and VA orders?
From Washiongton Post.
SEC Tightens "Soft Dollars" Rule
The SEC voting 5-0.issued tougher guidelines on the use of soft dollars limiting the kinds of services money managers can buy by buying brokerages inflated commissions and passing the higher costs to investors (thats us)
The SEC said computer equipnment and office furniture do not qualify as appropriate uses for soft dollars,which allow brokerages to charge higher commission rate for trades if they use a portion of the fees too provide money managers with investment research. The SEC found that money managers had been using client money to pay for things like charted financial analyst exam review courses,office rent, meals and carpeting.
Separately the SEC proposed changes to rules that goivern short-selling of stock------ (See my last ppost on this subject)
We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing.
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV.
Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
2. HIS DIARY
I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid.
This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
If big breated girls work at Hooters where do 1 legged girls toil??
THINK
Don't Know
scrolll down
At IHOP you dummy!!!
Telephone Trouble
----- Original Message -----
A Utah farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called -- and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning...
Thats the same route Verges took when hne merged his company into IPVO a virtual bankrupt public company and thus was born NMKT.
The Wheels Turn So awfully Slowly.But They are moving
SEC Weighs Tougher Stance
On Naked Short-Selling
By KARA SCANNELL
July 12, 2006; Page C3
The Securities and Exchange Commission, responding to criticism that it hasn't done enough to curb naked short-selling, is expected to propose changes to a current rule that would reduce the number of open short positions in stocks.
The proposed amendments to Regulation SHO, a collection of rules on short-selling, come amid heightened attention to the legitimate trading practice of making bearish bets on firms. Short-selling is when a trader borrows shares then sells them with the hope the stock drops, so he can buy it back later at a lower price, locking in a profit. More controversial is naked short-selling, which is when a trader never intends to borrow shares to cover his position. Naked short-selling is illegal in most instances, except when done by a market-maker to maintain liquidity in a stock.
The SEC adopted Reg SHO, in part, to reduce naked short-selling. Since it took effect in January 2005, the number of companies that have open short positions has dropped by some estimates as much as 20%, although critics have said that is insufficient.
Recently, allegations of naked short-selling and manipulative trading have caught the attention of Capitol Hill, where two senators called for stepped-up scrutiny by the Justice Department. Some corporate chiefs have engaged in a public-relations war, railing against short-sellers that have targeted their stock, and the SEC has launched at least one investigation into potential market manipulation involving short-sellers.
Reg SHO requires brokers to locate a security to later borrow to cover the short position. It also established threshold lists of stocks that meet certain conditions, such as more than half of 1% of its shares outstanding haven't been delivered to the counterparty on the date they were due for five consecutive business days. Once a security is on a threshold list, a broker with new short positions needs to close out any failed trades within 13 business days. The idea is to reduce outstanding shorts on those stocks.
The SEC included a grandfather provision that exempted delivery failures that existed before a company became a threshold security, meaning open failed positions that existed before a company made the list remain. At the time, the SEC said it did so out of concern it might create volatility through a short squeeze.
Today at an open meeting, the SEC is expected to vote to amend Reg SHO and eliminate the grandfather clause, which could benefit heavily shorted companies. Eliminating the grandfather clause would force brokers to buy in some positions on threshold-listed securities that were made before the companies made the list. The SEC is also weighing whether to change a provision that allows market makers to have naked short positions. If the changes to the rule are voted, as expected, they will go out for public comment for at least 30 days.
Write to Kara Scannell at kara.scannell@wsj.com
Is This Justice Gone Bezerk??:
Updated: 1 hour, 34 minutes ago
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. - A federal appeals court said the seven-day prison term given an architect of the $2.7 billion fraud at HealthSouth Corp. was “shockingly short” and ordered another sentencing before a new judge.
Ruling in a 32-page decision, the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the sentence of former HealthSouth finance chief Mike Martin and sent the case back to district court for a second time.
U.S. District Judge U.W. Clemon first sentenced Martin to probation and house arrest, but prosecutors won an appeal. Clemon then sentenced Martin to a week in prison, prompting another appeal and the 11th Circuit’s ruling Tuesday overturning the sentence and removing Clemon from the case.
The 11th Circuit said the case should be reassigned because it was likely Clemon “would have difficulty putting his previous views and findings aside.” Prosecutors have also appealed other sentences handed down by Clemon in HealthSouth-related cases and viewed by the government as too light.
Martin pleaded guilty, and his cooperation with agents helped uncover parts of the huge accounting conspiracy at HealthSouth, the Birmingham-based rehabilitation and medical services chain.
Martin testified last year against former CEO Richard Scrushy, who was acquitted on all charges. Martin took the stand again this year in Montgomery in the trial of Scrushy and former Gov. Don Siegelman, who were both convicted in a state bribery scheme.
While prosecutors twice sought prison time for Martin, Clemon ruled that he deserved lighter punishment because of his extensive assistance to prosecutors and attorneys pursuing civil cases over the HealthSouth debacle. Martin also said he tried to end the fraud during his 2½ years as CFO beginning in 1997.
The appeals court disagreed with Clemon that Martin — who already has paid a $50,000 fine and forfeited $2.4 million — had been punished enough.
“Martin’s cooperation, while commendable and extremely valuable, is not a get-out-of-jail-free card,” the court said.
The court did not suggest a more appropriate sentence, but it said a term of one week was “not nearly within” the range of reasonable punishments. Prosecutors previously sought a prison sentence of 3½ years for Martin.
Martin was among 15 former HealthSouth executives who pleaded guilty in the fraud and cooperated with authorities. Sentences for the group ranged from probation to five years in prison for former finance chief Bill Owens.
Ladies and Gentlemen
Hobos and tramps
Cross-eyed mosquitos
And bow-legged ants.
I stand before you
To sit behind you
To tell you a story
Of which I know nothing about.
One fine day
In the middle of the night
Three dead boys
Got up to fight.
Back to back
They faced each other
Drew their swords
And shot one another
A deaf policeman
Heard the noise
And came and killed
These three dead boys
Now if you don't believe
This story is true
Just ask the blind man
He saw it too.
I disagree. Hee is the most sophisticated basher I've ever run across. Why did he lose his posting priviledges on the Raging Bull board???
Whats the difference between spinning and lying. But really in his case it doesn't matter-He is absolutely phenomenal in both applications
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there,
and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is
embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her
what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy
handled it.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the
desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for
today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room
full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear
or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full
strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked,
"Yes,??"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"
"I can't piss out of it," he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!
Yea verily. Just shows you that he who has the eyes and ears of the public rules.
http://www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/Commentary/1063.html
Our SEC Officials isn’t Learning
By Mark Faulk
July 9, 2006
At the SEC, apparently one plus one doesn't always equal two. And with the hedge funds, the only thing that really matters is that the regulations that apply to them add up to zero.
Yesterday, in an article entitled “Double Trouble Valuing The Hedge-Fund Industry,” the Wall Street Journal reported that hedge funds are up in arms about the total hedge fund industry assets as reported by the SEC, asking the question “How did the size of the hedge-fund industry double overnight?” and saying that:
“Until a few weeks ago, the industry had about $1 trillion in assets world-wide, according to a consensus of estimates by academics and consultants. Then, on June 23, the media began reporting that hedge funds had more than $2 trillion.
The confusion began when a federal appeals court tossed out a rule requiring hedge funds to register with the Securities and Exchange Commission. Swamped with queries, the SEC tallied the assets reported by hedge-fund managers who had registered. The figure – a whopping $2.4 trillion -- was reported by The Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, National Public Radio and other news outlets.”
They also pointed out that in Congressional testimony just a few weeks ago, the SEC itself had pegged the total industry assets at $1.2 trillion, or half of the total they claimed had registered with the SEC just a few weeks later. And don’t forget that that figure doesn’t include hedge funds that failed to register, or who escaped detection by crawling through one of the numerous loopholes conveniently written into the SEC hedge fund regulations.
That’s what the Wall Street Journal reported. Here’s what they didn’t ask.
First of all, who’s lying, or can’t perform basic math, or both? If the estimates are closer to the numbers reported by the Hedge Fund Research group, then how did the SEC screw up so badly? These are the same people who are charged with making sure that public corporations don’t fudge on their numbers, and that all financial information given to investors is accurate. If they're wrong about their estimates on hedge fund assets…and not just wrong, but WRONG…then can we trust anything they tell us? When they release figures for stock that isn't delivered to the customers who paid for it, how do we know that those numbers are accurate? Could there be twice as many fails as the SEC reports? Or even more? Can we trust them to release accurate figures on anything, can we even trust them on any information that they release to the public?
Read the rest of this commentary, plus an update on even more noble qualities that the SEC doesn’t believe in, at:
http://www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/Commentary/1063.html
This article is also posted on Mark Faulk's blog at The Sanity Check, along with an excellent comment forum, at:
http://www.thesanitycheck.com/Blogs/MarkFaulksBlog/tabid/86/Default.aspx
(Yeah, I know, this is my fourth commentary in the past four days. It’s just been one of those weeks.)
Until such time as the majority of our media pick up on this situation the people will will stay fat dumb and broke.