When I see someone crying, I always ask if it's because of their haircut.
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I happen to know the question for that Jeopardy answer:
Which one of the 7 Dwarves had PMS?
What else is new? Service is bad everywhere. If we got any less service at a gas-station, we'd have to refine the gas ourself.
ddfred, check your weapons at the door and please step through the metal-detector. Thanks.
It is obvious as the Gummi-Bears in my vomit that "NEXT WEEK" is, in reality, just next week.
OK, so now what?
Do we spew, sue or bid adieu?
After reading the RB zoo-board, now I know what the people we see being arrested on "COPS" do during the day.
fung,
what a difference the letter "L" makes.
...I think your clock is broken.
It would be great if we had a piece of a race-track. Any investor could go out there and shovel the manure.
They've had enough practice from RB, where there is more BS than a herd of Holsteins grazing in a prune-field.
Here's what I think we need about now:
I don't know what the big secret was. All I want to know is which of the 8 party-goers sent me THIS last week:
Was it made from chiffon? June Cleaver was crazy about chiffon nighties. She used to say, "Chiffon is almost as close to me as my Beaver."
BnB, I'm sure fung wasn't there......
He was having a beer with me.
Susie,
You looked marrrrrrrrrvelous on TV today. I must say, you're one of the few people who actually gets better-looking as time goes on.
Hey fung,
Since you have refused a nomination to be the board-clown, can I get a promotion from board-joker?
Here's the Derf Diner breakfast sandwich, called "Heart attack on a plate".
Is that guano on that dinner plate? At the very least, it contains all five of the major fluid-groups.
Tate:
Right now, if Abe Lincoln could see the honesty and integrity displayed by this investment, he'd be spinning-over in his grave so rapidly that they'd hook him up to a turbine to light the Vegas-strip.
Well, I hope some good comes from that meeting, because I've rolled so many pennies, I've formed a psychic-bond with Abe Lincoln.
With all the fruitcakes at the meeting, my fruitcake would get lost in the crowd.
Tate.
My cannoli's are sorry to hear that.
Well, I'll have a 48-quart Coleman-cooler packed with ice, so the chocolate-cannoli's won't melt en route. Would you please selt-belt the cooler into the backseat, next to Susie, so she can keep an eye on them? Thanks.
Seriously,
Is ANYONE really going to Palooza next week? Since I won't be able to go (since I am forced to take a part-time job as a "liquid-fat wrangler" at the Liposuction Lounge), I'd like someone to transport a big box of Italian-pastries out to the party for me. TIA
Tate, due to the sorry state of my PCBM investment, my posts are based on the surefire, tried-and-true formula of:
Tragedy + Time = Comedy
huck,
I must say that every time I open one of your posts, I feel like I'm about to de-fuse a bomb------there's a good chance of bad news under the hood.
Thanks alot for all your unpaid research, no matter how unsettling it is.
Who knows what you'll find next? At this point, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that these guys have invested in a sequin-mine in Vegas!
All I can say is
Susie, you are correct, ma'am. What man would use the 3 words "abandoned, curtailed and unfulfilled" in the same sentence, unless he was describing his life after he got married?
fung,
Thanks. I'll post some more, since I'll be covering PCBM-Palooza for FNN.
Although this event is widely-hyped, I bet I'll be yawning like I'm watching a fishing-show hosted by Alan Greenspan.
fung,
It's not the leaves which are falling:
I was gonna attend that last year, but I got stuck in the blood-pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
Does anyone know if that PCBM-Palooza meeting with Vince in PA is still happening? I have a stack of phony-photos to post before the Iraqis loot them.
I'm glad you brought that up. Right now, I'm bidding on eBay for a gold Pokemon card of Pikachu depositing a "steaming lawn-sausage" on Uday and Qusay.
Is the unfortunate rumor true, that just LAST MONTH Pinnacle had xeroxed an additional 2 billion shares to acquire a controlling-interest in Al Mamoodi's Seafood-Bunker and Dinner-Theater in Baghdad?
By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell -- and hell heaven. The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed.
Adolph Hitler, Mein Kampf, 1925
C'mon Reliable, give her a break! Between shakin' her bikini-burger onstage, her nightly lap-dancing at "Lyback & Wackit" and not to mention----graduating "Sumwun Cum Loudlee" from The University of Gilligan Business School, howza girl gonna find time to post dat stuff?
But seriously, the smart-money will either be watching FOX at 8:00-------"Feral Dingoes Eating Children on Tape" OR
On the WB:
8:00---Where My Wife At?
8:30---Gittin' Yo Freak On
Instead of watching all that war-coverage tonight.....
Check out what's on the "E" Channel :
8:00--- Andy Gibb: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
9:00--- Margot Kidder: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
10:00-- Boy George: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
Like I said before, our boys in Iraq are kickin' butts and takin' hyphenated-names.
Yeah, the Matrix Printing Co. Remember their slogan, "You issue'em, we'll print'em" ?
fung, to show you how bad things have gotten because of this stock, American Express called this morning and told me to "Leave home without it".
minicat, although penny stocks are a risk at best and there are no guarantees----- it's a gamble. But remember that a dice-game decided who would win the cloak of Christ.
Toppy? Is that you? Have you ever gotten away from those dragsters long enough to have an actual human encounter with a "snappy, nappy dug-out"?
And good buddy, forget those stupid Academy Awards tonight.....Check-out what's showin' on TNN:
8:00PM---Well, I'll Be Dipped In Pigsh*t!
9:00PM---You Hush Up, Wanda Mae.
9:30PM---Sheeeeeeee-It!
10:00PM---Hold 'Er Down While I Get The Rifle From The Truck!