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For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread. The sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet.... Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host, and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long? ~Rebecca Harding Davis
Blessed Thanksgiving to all.
STRESS MANAGEMENT
Just in case you've had a rough day, here is an 8-Step stress management technique recommended in the latest psychological texts.
1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world."
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.
8. See! You're smiling already!!!!
Was it Uncle Sam?
A couple was touring the capitol in Washington, DC, and the guide pointed out a tall, benevolent gentleman as the congressional chaplain.
The lady asked, "What does the chaplain do? Does he pray for the Senate or House?"
The guide answered, "No, he gets up, looks at both houses of Congress, then prays for the country!"
A young couple got married and went on a cruise for their honeymoon.
When they arrived home from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away.
"Well, darling," said her mom, "how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mother," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time! But, mother, as soon as we returned, Sam began using really horrible language... Stuff I'd never heard before... Really terrible 4-letter words... You've got to come get me and take me home. PLEASE MOTHER!"
And the new bride began to sob over the telephone.
"But honey," the mother countered, "WHAT 4-letter words?"
"I can't tell you, mother," said the daughter, "they're too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!"
"Darling daughter, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell mother the 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Mother.... he is using words like:
DUST... WASH... IRON... COOK!
MASKED BALLS
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party.
In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had great sex.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But I'll tell you, the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"
TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX
10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6) It's OK when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2) Less guilt the morning after.
1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
Chas, Best Halloween costume I've heard of is:
naked on a skateboard...........
going as a pull-toy.
SPEL CHEKKER
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too be a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid to wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
it does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.
Working people often ask what I do to make my
days interesting. Here's one:
I went to the store the other day. I was only in
there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was
a city cop writing out a parking ticker. I went up
to hime and said, "Come on, Buddy, how about giving a
senior a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticker. I
called him a name. He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I
called him a worse name. He finished the second
ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I
abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner
and this one had a "HILLARY IN 2008" bumper sticker
on it.
Now that I'm retired, I try to have a little fun
each day.
I was having trouble with my computer. So I
called Charlie the computer guy, to come over.
Charlie clicked a couple of buttons and solved the
problem.
He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As
he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what
was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't
want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
"An, ID ten T error? What's that...in case I need
to fix it again?"
Charlie grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an
ID ten T error before?"
No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll
figure it out."
So I wrote down........I D 1 0 T
I used to like Charlie.
A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America.
Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil.
We just didn't know we were getting low.
The reason for that is purely geographical.
Our OIL is located in:
~~~
Alaska
~~~
California
~~~
Oklahoma
and
TEXAS
~~~
~~~
~~~
~~~
~~~
~~~
~~~
~~~
Our
DIPSTICKS are located in Washington DC.
New Drugs for Women
D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?.
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
Bubba's pregnant sister is in a serious car accident causing her to fall into a deep coma. She awakens after nearly six months and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins - a boy and a girl and your babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no! Not Bubba; he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor answers. The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise."
She then asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "Denephew."
The National Poetry Contest had come down to the final two contestants,
a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas.
They were given a word, then they were allowed two minutes to study the
word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word that they
were given was "Timbuktu."
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the
microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought.
The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three women in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The redneck won hands down!!!!
THIS KIND OF STUFF HAS GOT TO STOP IN OUR COUNTRY
We Must Stop This Immediately!
Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are
heavier . And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to
the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had
become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young
ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to
speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the
same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they
think I am, a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On
the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I
ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that
he didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair
this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own
refection.........Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the
way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're
risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in
front of them.. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast,
the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else
would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20?
Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around
the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank,
but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see
on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just
who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on
but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've
printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever
find a number in here!
All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have
to suffer these awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO
WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am using a larger font size, because something has caused my computer's
fonts to be smaller than they once were.
I agree.
REALLY BAD!
There was a crowd of bees flying around. These bees were a bit different as they were powered by gasoline.
As the swarm along, periodically a bee or two would start to sputter; it would fly down to a gas station, drink up the gas spilled in fueling a car, and then fly up and rejoin the crowd.
One bee began to sputter a little, but flew right by an open gas station. As he passed the second station, he coughing badly, but still he flew on. Finally, as he was on his last fumes, he dove down to a station and gassed up.
When he rejoined the crowd, his bee buddy said: "Look, you passed right by an open station when you started to get low. You passed another station when you were perilously low. And finally, you ran out of gas just in time to glide into that last station. Are you crazy?"
He replied, "Well, it's like this. The first station was a Gulf station. I really don't like Gulf at all. The second station was a Texaco station. That's even worse.
But the third station was an Esso station. Let me tell you, Esso is my brand of gasoline. It's really true. "There's an Esso Bee in every crowd!"
I warned you it was 'bad'
Chas, I know the feeling.
For me it was 20 years, 5 months, 8 days, but who's counting. Looking back, I should have seen it coming. At the time, I was blindsided.
Dear Employee:
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for departmental areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.
Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late Age Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.
SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may appeal with upper management.
This appeal is called SHAFT (Study of Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).
As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our: Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.
Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.
Management
Blond Football
Football FINALLY makes sense..........
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!
WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE ... LET ME !
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair,
where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew...
"They won't let me fart."
Shrewd Choice
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. " I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I'll write now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "You old fart, you lied. There's no money in that account."
"I know", admitted the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
All too true. LOL
congress breaks for August Recess
ANIMAL SPEAK
A cowboy was caught by an Indian tribe and convicted of crimes against the Indian nation. The punishment was to be death, after he received three last requests.
He requested the use of his horse for the first one, and it was brought to him. He whispered something in its ear and the horse took off. two hours later it returned with a beautiful blonde on its back.
He again requested his horse for his second request. He again whispered in its ear and it took off. Returning this time, two hours later, with a beautiful redhead.
For his last request he was given his horse again. This time he grabbed the horse by both sides of its face, looked it dead in the eyes and yelled at the top of his lungs, "I SAID POSSE!!!!!!!"
OUT IN THE MIDDAY SUN
Moe fell asleep on the beach under the noonday sun and suffered a severe sunburn to his legs. He was taken to the hospital. Moe had turned a bright red. It was very painful and had started to blister.
The doctor prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative and 100 mg of Viagra.
Rather astounded the nurse inquired, "What good will Viagra do him in that condition?"
The doctor replied, "It will keep the sheet off his legs"
Cannibals
=======
Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an
IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says:
"You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here,
and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat.
So don't trouble the other employees."
The cannibals promised not to trouble the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says:
"You're all working very hard,
and I'm very satisfied with all of you.
One of our cleaners has disappeared however.
Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals disowned all knowledge of the missing cleaner.
After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals says to the
others,
"Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"
One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly,
to which the leader of the cannibals says:
"You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders,
managers, and project managers and no one has noticed
anything, and YOU ate one cleaner and it got noticed.
So hereafter please don't eat a person who is working."
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/2135.htm
Prepare to Fly - Let MountainWings.com help lift YOU over the Mountains of Life
The Cowboy and The Yuppie
==================
A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly
a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the
cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have
in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at
his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why
not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his AT&T cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to
get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another
NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop
and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,
Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot
that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected
Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads
all of this data via an email on his Blackberry, and after a few
minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-
tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the
cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,"
says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the
animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the
trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,
"Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant." says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct,"
says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up
here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an
answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; and you
don't know anything about my business."
"Now give me back my DOG."
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/5110.htm
Prepare to Fly - Let MountainWings.com help lift YOU over the Mountains of Life
Skinny Dipping
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a
large farm for several years. He had a large
pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic
tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and
peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and
fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down
to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a
while, and look it over. He grabbed a five
gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he
neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw
it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping
in his pond. He made the women aware of his
presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not
coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down
here to watch you ladies swim naked or
make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to
feed the alligator."
Moral: Old men can still think fast.
"But remember that the temptations that come into your life are
no different from what others experience. And God is faithful.
He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you
can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show
you a way out so that you will not give in to it."
1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT
Here's a line from a recent email:
When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could You please get that for me?"
Ha LOL
he hadn't even finished coloring one of them. ROTFLMAO
Amazing.
God bless the surgical staff.
What an understatement there, too:
Bobby's father..........was still dealing with "a lot of guilt."
Thankfully, I can only imagine it.
pennybuster,
A couple sites you may wish to peruse for splits and dividends:
http://www.tradingday.com/ has a calendar under the "Live Market Coverage" header.
http://www.otcbb.com/dailylist/index_2005.htm
Yahoo has some split info, too.
http://biz.yahoo.com/c/s.html
cyberloo:
loo n : a toilet in England
cyber pref : computer or computer network
BOREALIS, here's a short history on how it has become a bit of a standing Brit joke.
UK manufacturer launches stool-sampling cyberjohn
By Lester Haines
Published Thursday 12th July 2001 13:36 GMT
Headline update for our US readers UK toilet manufacturer Twyford yesterday placed the humble bog at the cutting edge of 21st century crappercraft with the world's first e-enabled health-monitoring cyberloo.
The company describes the Versatile Interactive Pan (VIP) as a "major breakthrough" in toilet technology. The designer dunny incorporates a voice-activated seat and autoflush, but also boasts the abilty to monitor stools and urine for potential health problems.
Should the VIP detect that your motions are not all they should be, it will contact your GP via the Internet. Or, if you're simply getting a bit loose down there, it will order extra roughage from your supermarket.
All well and good. But has the company really thought about the implications of allowing a cyborg convenience access to what is - let's face it - a very private process? Once again, it appears that boffins have put their desire to reinvent the wheel before any consideration of the possible ramifications.
Twyford's announcement comes only months after a rogue public toilet took a woman hostage for three hours. Despite her terrifying ordeal, it's clear that nothing has been learnt.
(see next article for that story)
So, will projectile vomiting provoked by a quick 'lunchtime meeting' in the pub result in a VIP call to Alcoholics Anonymous? Will City wideboys find themselves escorted by the Police from their places of work after their urine tests positive for Bolivian marching powder?
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/20340.html
******************************************
Hi-tech toilet swallows woman
By Lester Haines
Published Tuesday 17th April 2001 15:07 GMT
A 51-year-old woman was yesterday subjected to a harrowing two-hour ordeal when she was imprisoned in a hi-tech public convenience.
Maureen Shotton, from Whitley Bay, was captured by the maverick cyberloo during a shopping trip to Newcastle-upon-Tyne. The toilet, which boasts state-of-the-art electronic auto-flush and door sensors, steadfastly refused to release Maureen, and further resisted attempts by passers-by to force the door.
Maureen was finally liberated when the fire brigade ripped the roof off the cantankerous crapper.
Maureen's terrifying experience confirms that it is a short step from belligerent bogs to Terminator-style cyborgs hunting down and exterminating mankind. ®
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/04/17/hitech_toilet_swallows_woman/
Educational morning, eh?
Midas, I second your nomination for the woman of the year. Above and beyond the call of duty, I'd say.
http://www.averagjoe.com/0309y
Looks like around 25+ pounds of beer plus weight of mugs she's schlepping there.
In a very similar vein:
One of my favorite passages, best in King James version, imo,
Proverbs 16:3 (King James Version)
Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.
That's good...LOL
And now, from The Daytrader's Station (ROLL) #msg-5690626
http://home.houston.rr.com/whipnet/budlight/RMG-HotStockTipGiverOuter.mp3