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Huck,
That list is for PCBM?
We finally agree on something!!!
It seems as if every time I go online I have to delete all my temporary internet files and all my cookies.
I have always done that regularly in the past but every time seems a bit much.
OMG....I just got it!
LOL
Musta missed that one AK....any good?
On a day spent trying to housebreak Bailey, I came across this article and found it udderly amusing.
Udder fraud out of control in Wisconsin
By Dave Barry
When we think of Wisconsin, we think of it as the Nation's Heartland -- a placid place where you can park your car anywhere and leave it unlocked, with the key in the ignition, knowing that no matter how long you're gone, when you return, your car will be covered with cheese.
But more importantly, your car will still be there, because Wisconsin is a decent, honest place, populated by decent, honest, chunky people.
Or so I always thought, until I received, from several alert readers, a shocking article from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, written by Marilynn Marchione. This article describes an evil, almost unthinkable activity that is raging out of control in Wisconsin and threatens to infect Minnesota (the Nation's Spleenland) and Iowa (the Nation's Pancreaticglandland).
What is this activity? I will answer that in two shocking words, which you probably never thought you would read in a family newspaper: udder tampering.
Yes. There are men in Wisconsin who are deliberately using artificial means to make their cows' udders more attractive. Why? Because these men are very, very lonely.
No, seriously, they are doing it to win livestock shows. These are competitions in which cows are judged on various characteristics, kind of like human beauty-pageant contestants, except that the cows are more likely to know what ``Iraq'' is.
For livestock judges, the most important part of a cow is the udder, because this is where the cow produces important dairy products such as milk, butter, cheese, yogurt and ranch dressing, via a process called ``photosynthesis.'' As you know (like HECK you do), a standard cow has one udder, which is divided into quarters, each of which has a nipple, or ``teat,'' except in Utah, where this is illegal.
Livestock judges -- who, I'm guessing, are predominantly male -- prefer cows with big, round, firm udders. The judges are not interested in cows with droopy udders, even if these cows are smarter and have nicer personalities. On Saturday nights, when the big-udder cows are basking in the glamour of the livestock show, the droopy-udder cows are back in the barn, alone.
Here's where the scandal comes in: There are people whose job is to prepare cows for livestock shows. These people are called (I swear) ``cow fitters.'' Most cow fitters are honest. ``As honest as a cow fitter'' is an expression you hear frequently in the Heartland. Unfortunately, In recent years, a growing number of ``bad apple'' fitters have been artificially enhancing udders using injections. This ticks off honest dairy farmers such as (I swear) Elmo Wendorf of Oconomowoc, Wis., who is quoted in the Journal Sentinel as follows: ``What they're trying to do is make both rear quarters absolutely equal, both 36 double-D. It's kind of like women having a breast implant. People really hate it when I compare cows to humans, but it's kind of the same.''
Cheating in livestock shows is illegal and punishable by fines, or even prison. (``What are you in for?'' ``Murder. And you?'' ``Udder tampering.'' ``YIKES!'') But how do you catch the cheaters? The tampering is invisible to the naked eyeball, and most cows won't squeal on their fitters.
Fortunately, there is hope, thanks to the work of top cow scientists at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. According to the Journal Sentinel, these scientists have developed a technique, using ultrasound, to check udders for tampering.
There's a photo in the newspaper showing university veterinarian Robert O'Brien squatting under a cow, peering intently at an electronic device while holding some kind of sensor against the cow's udder, looming large overhead. You look at this dramatic photo, and you cannot help but envision it as the basis for a major action film ``Udder Patrol,'' starring Tom Cruise as a maverick investigative veterinarian, Nicolas Cage as a cow fitter gone bad and Pamela Lee Anderson as herself.
But the udder-tampering crime wave is not Hollywood fiction: It is real. And that is why we all owe a debt of gratitude to the developers of the ultrasound technique, which could offer significant benefits to humanity, beyond livestock shows. As Dr. O'Brien told the Journal Sentinel: ``We think we could clean up the Miss America contest with the same technology.'' Imagine if, during the evening gown competition, the Miss America contestants had to walk gracefully across the stage to a waiting panel of trained, sensor-wielding veterinarians. I think ratings would go through the roof. I also think Elmo Wendorf & the Cow Fitters would be an excellent name for a rock band.
In conclusion: moo.
http://www.bayarea.com/mld/mercurynews/living/5352304.htm
Hey watch that!
You go girl!
edit: I guess I will have to take him off ignore to see what this is all about?
He's alive!
Actually I would rather convince my husband that AOL is a piece of garbage and that we should get rid of it!!!
LOL
An addendum to my last post.
Things are not fine once again!
This is really ticking me off because I don't know what the problem is.
I'm about ready to let my husband have this computer and buy myself a new one! I hate sharing it anyway with him because I really think that half of my problems stem from the fact that AOL is even on the computer. He likes it and uses it whereas I think it causes most of the problems!
Sorry for the venting....maybe I should have posted this on the RANTS board????
What's PPV?
edit: nevermind....figured it out
Umm...Bull....someone should tell him that his son probably doesn't want to be rescued!
Would you want to be at his age.....or any age for that matter?
Nah....When it's a man's son, he's a "chip off the old block"! Now, if it was his daughter down there, I would agree.
What's that got to do with his heart?
For whatever reason, today everything seems fine. That would have left me to believe that it was a cable problem except for the fact that while I was having problems with my computer, my son's was fine.
When I was using AOL, it was through cable and not dial up. I did some stuff on my own here.....deleting some things that I knew I didn't need.
I also went to the PCpitstop site and ran the diagnostic. Some things had changed since the last time I ran it and there were some suggestions there that I did.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything is ok and I appreciate all the tips.
Susie
lmao.....Does he have a strong heart?
I knew someone would clarify what I said!
I'm having another computer problem and I hope someone can help!
Is it possible to uninstall and reinstall Internet Explorer?
I have been having a lot of trouble online for the past couple of days. Originally the problem was cable related but according to the cable company that has been fixed.
I have no problem with my e-mail but I can hardly get to any of the websites that I try to go to.
Right now I am using AOL as my browser and that is the only way I could get to IH. I really hate AOl though so I don't want to always have to use it.
If I can uninstall and reinstall IE, how do I do that? The uninstall isn't a problem but I don't think I have a CD for IE so would I be able to download it from the Microsoft website?
Thanks for any help!!!
Susie
I think I can answer the first part of your post. I'm pretty sure you are allowed 18 posts each day so if you have 14 left I would think that you already made 4 posts.
I'm not sure if the day starts at midnight or if it starts when you first post.
Someone else might know the answer to that!
The Eagle Has Landed!
Well....Bailey had some success this evening with the housebreaking. It wasn't with me though!!!
Again I stayed out with her for about a half hour and then frustration and chattering teeth made me come back in the house.
My husband took her out again and within 5 minutes she went!
With all the praise she got (and treats) I hope she understands that it behooves her to do it again and again!!
I read this board occasionally but I don't think I have ever felt the urge to post until after reading your post.
Bravo!
LOL!
The problem seems to be ok now so I guess Microsoft and I are off the hook until it happens again!
And suffering from a hangover today, huh?
Maybe they aren't true AK, but in my job I see many many just like them!
http://www.realpolice.net/lawsuits.htm
http://www.jodysgarage.com/lawsuits.htm
1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her
ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a
furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering
the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's
son.
2. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won
$74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran
over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his
neighbor's hub caps.
3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of
the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to
go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because
the door connecting the house and garage locked when
he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight
days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a
large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue
mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of
$500,000.
4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was
awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being
bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's
fenced yard. The award was less than sought because
the jury felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting
it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber
Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.
6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully
sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city
when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred
while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out without
paying her check, awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv
Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski
purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On
his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway,
he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left
the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself
a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the
road. The owner's manual did not say that he couldn't
actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus
a new motor home. The company actually changed their
manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there
were any other complete morons buying their recreation
vehicles.
Thanks guys, I'll keep plugging along.
She's sleeping now but when she wakes up we'll be out there again!
At least the weather is decent today.
No you may not!!
<gg>
Spelling is like riding a horse though isn't it?
I did that too AK. I figured the wee wee pad would help but it doesn't. She sniffs it and then walks away from it.
AK, I was a champion speller in my day!!!!
Ever hear of the National Spelling Bee?
The cable is working again AK. The problem with the preview button is intermittent.
edit: on this post it worked!
Bailey is 3 1/2 months old and winter is almost over (at least I hope it is!) so I want to start housebreaking her!
How do I get her to do her stuff outside for the first time!!!!!
This morning when she first woke up, I immediately went outside with her figuring she hadn't gone all night so she must be bursting!!!! All she wanted to do was play in the snow. I had her out for about a half hour and then I brought her back in and fed her. I stood and watched her the entire time so that she wouldn't go looking for her wee wee pad.
After she finished eating I took her back outside for another half hour and all she did was play in the snow again!!!
At this point, I was not a happy camper and I had not had any coffee yet so I just gave up and took her back in the house.
Within 30 seconds she was on the wee wee pad doing her stuff!!!
I wanted to yell at her but I knew that would only confuse her more! She has been trained to go on the wee wee pad since she was 4 -5 weeks old which was great because of the terrible winter we have had.
I need some ideas!!!!!!!
TIA
Susie
Welcome.
Anyone else having trouble with the preview button? It seems when I want to preview a post before sending it, I get locked up but if I just hit submit it's ok.
I'm having cable sporadic problems also, so it could just be me.
Leave my Soxy alone! He's a very nice Mother Hen!
edit: except when he puts NYers down!
I've read them all!
Distraught or jealous?
I thought the same thing Bull! I know the correct pronunciation of Worcester, I was just joking.
I couldn't think of another town on the pike so I just threw in Lowell because it's in MA. That's why I put the (?) in it!
I think Soxy has had tooo much wine tonight!!! Gee, I know THAT feeling!
Of course I do!
I just assume that everyone is always kidding on these boards! I know I am!!!
I was never a regular Seinfeld watcher but I do remember the episode where Elaine was convinced that the Asian girls that did her manicures used to talk about her in the nail place!
I used to feel exactly the same way!!
Now I go to a place where everyone speaks English!!!!
Red or white?