When I see someone crying, I always ask if it's because of their haircut.
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Omega!
Nah, not you. You're too enthusiastic. You'd incinerate him into pieces that would fit into an ashtray, before the Governor had a chance to phone-in a reprieve.
Thanks! Finally a good picture! That pic was hotter than corduroy-pants at the beach.
I just wanted the phresh phish to know that if they ever get lonely in Jail, they can find a new wife right here on the premises.
Remember, 2 out of 4 marriages end in divorce. The other 2 are suicides.
In case you get lonely in Jail, here's some help for finding that special someone...
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I don't know if anyone's watching the MTV Awards right now, but Christina Aguilera's microskirt is so short, I can see what she had for breakfast.
Thanks, Tate. Today I found out that you could go to a store, buy food uncooked and go home and cook it yourself. Plus, that I should also take the plastic-covering off those individually-wrapped slices of cheese for an especially good taste.
HOGMP
Tate, how about sending me a pic of THAT? BTW...
WSTS = Weeping Silently To Self.
HOGMP
Would you send me a pic of that, please? Thanks.
WSTS
Thanks, rick. We have gone from shareholders to stuckholders to finally schmuckholders.
WSTS
Lately, I've been drinking so much coffee that Juan Valdez named his friggin' donkey after me.
You are correct, sir. Your posts run deeper than the crack in Ed Asner's ass.
I don't know about newsworthy, but some of them may be sponge-worthy.
Remember how Ewell Gibbons died? He choked on one of those "wild hickory nuts" he was always talking about.
I think Casper committed suicide by standing next to PCBM and inhaling.
The one thing that I could NEVER figure out was
if "Casper the Friendly Ghost" was so friendly, then who killed him?
Bull, if you like the Discovery Channel, don't miss my favorite repeat tonight at 9:00PM called,
"Port-O-San: Dreams of a Portable-Shitter".
Oh, and don't forget TV Land at 8:00 PM------Andy Griffith, "Otis Joins The Klan".
Where did you take that picture with Pat? At the "Vaseline Day Parade" in SF?
You two must be pretty close. He wouldn't let me hug him like that!
Long_haul, my only advice to you would be like this old joke:
Judge: I sentence you to 50 years in jail.
Prisoner: But, judge....I can't do 50 years!!!
Judge: Well son, do as many as you can.
Hey, I think there are laws against posting pics like that!
Forget the kiss. I'll take the first half of that sentence.
Not really, but...
I'd prefer to see Vanna White on Rice.
Would you send me a pic of that, please? Thanks.
Fry tulipz. Because I heard a rumor that tulipz got his name by being caught with his "two-lips" on the butt of his cell-mate.
Eulogize all you'd like, but please don't use the "B" word.
I'm currently weaning myself off the "B" by snacking on "Snausages", if I can snatch them back from the dog.
For a satisfying lunch though, there's nothing like Snausages over rice.
I'd try it, but I heard that it tastes like it was filtered through a jock-strap.
Bacon? Did you say BACON?
I was very young and impressionable when I first started experimenting with pork. First, it was just a few bacon-bits on my salad, on weekends, with friends -- it was no big deal. Everyone was doing it. I enjoyed the euphoric high of the nitrate-loaded meat, but I never thought I would have a problem.
Before long, I moved up to ham sandwiches and non-kosher hot dogs; too much was never enough. These “gateway meats” move you on to harder things: pork-chops, spare-ribs, sausage, and then BACON!
Before long, I couldn’t do anything without bacon -- bacon cheeseburgers, bacon omelets, pizza topped with bacon. I tried to make bacon fit more and more into my life ----- the absurd bacon watermelon, bacon with yogurt and bacon-filled doughnuts. I was doing BLT’s with extra bacon, then onto BLT’s minus the L and the T, but still getting the extra B.
Eventually, I was selling bacon just to support my habit. Even then, I was losing money “getting high on my own supply”. My life had become unmanageable. I was mainlining several pounds of uncut bacon each day.
Please don't mention bacon. Thanks.
I know. I read about it on the zoo board over 14 hours ago.
It's good to see that the new inmates will still be able to engage in the conjugal bliss that they enjoyed outside of jail.
It's gotta be either Jee or Jack. All the other house-mates are either opprobrious or at the very least, flagitious.
OK, so I took it. But, I may give it back because it eats like a horse and smells like the driver's seat of a rental-car.
Don't worry, fung, your virginity is alright. I have it here, sitting on the shelf, next to my box of broken stock-dreams.
It does or else he'll flat-leave you.
Would you send me a pic of that, please?
Although I won't mention his name, because I like the guy, there is a trusted-long who openly admitted on RB about 6-8 months ago that he's already spent $180,000 in 3 years and was about to buy some more. If you knew his name, you'd know I wasn't BSing.
I think he's about to sell his blood to buy some ramen-noodles.
Our next plan should be ---- that we create a "National PCBM Crying Day".
We'll all go to the SEC offices in Washington and start weeping like Richard Simmons at Streisand's wedding.