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I hate this site more often than not.
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I hate it too, it's corrupt to the core, rarely make any comments now, I hope you two are doing well!!!
GO XMDCQ............LOL
Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday."
On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? "
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"Wow!" says the judge.. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?"
"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison..................
RE: CAR AIR-CONDITIONING - VERY IMPORTANT!
My car manual says to roll down the windows to let out all the hot air before turning on A/C. WHY? Car Air-conditioning - (the manufacturer is aware)
No wonder more folks are dying from cancer than ever before. We wonder where this stuff comes from but here is an example that explains a lot of the cancer
causing incidents.
Many people are in their cars first thing in the morning and the last thing at night, 7 days a week.
Please do NOT turn on A/C as soon as you enter the car.
Open the windows, AIR- OUT YOUR CAR, FIRST, THEN,... turn ON the AC after a couple of minutes.
Here's why: According to research, the car dashboard, seats and air freshener emit Benzene, a Cancer causing toxin (carcinogen - take time to observe the smell of heated plastic in your car).
In addition to causing cancer, Benzene poisons your bones, causes anemia and reduces white blood cells. Prolonged exposure will cause Leukemia, increasing the risk of cancer. Can also cause miscarriage.
Acceptable Benzene level indoors is 50 mg per sq.. ft.
A car parked indoors with windows closed will contain 400-800 mg of Benzene.
If parked outdoors under the sun at a temperature above 60 degrees F, the Benzene level goes up to 2000-4000 mg, 40 times the acceptable level.
People who get into the car, keeping windows closed will inevitably inhale, in quick succession, excessive amounts of the toxin. Benzene is a toxin that affects your kidney and liver.. What's worse, it is extremely difficult for your body to expel this to xic stuff.
So friends, please open the windows and door of your car - give time for interior to air out -dispel the deadly stuff - before you enter.
Thought: 'When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others.'
This is what snopes.com says. It is not the air conditioning in the car but the Benzene producing agents that cause cancer. http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/benzene.asp
Why are Muslims so backward and powerless?
Dr Farrukh Saleem
The writer is the Pakistani Executive Director of the Centre for *
Research and Security Studies, a think tank established in 2007 and an Islamabad-based freelance columnist.
We Muslims must wonder why is that only Muslim States like Iraq,
Afghanistan and Libya are being attacked by the Christian West.
Why do we get pushed around by them with the former President of the US George Bush calling it a crusade?
Why is that Muslim States often depend on the West for survival, even Saudi Arabia, the epicentre for Islamic fundamentalism (i.e. Wahabism) is dependent on American largesse for their survival?
While they preach Wahhabi Islam all over the world, they allow American bases within a few hundred kilometres from the Holiest Shrines of Islam.
There are an estimated 1,476,233,470 Muslims on the face of the planet: one billion in Asia, 400 million in Africa, 44 million in Europe and six million in the Americas.
Every fifth human being is a Muslim.
For every single Hindu there are two Muslims,
for every Buddhist there are two Muslims and
for every Jew there are one hundred Muslims.
Ever wondered why Muslims are so powerless?
Here is why: There are 57 member-countries of the Organisation of Islamic Conference (OIC), and all of them put together have around 500 universities; one university for every three million Muslims.
The United States has 5,758 universities and India has 8,407.
In 2004, Shanghai Jiao Tong University compiled an 'Academic Ranking of World Universities', and intriguingly, not one university from Muslim-majority states was in the top-500.
As per data collected by the UNDP, literacy in the Christian world stands at nearly 90 per cent and 15 Christian-majority states have a literacy rate of 100 per cent.
A Muslim-majority state, as a sharp contrast, has an average literacy rate of around 40 per cent and there is no Muslim-majority state with a literacy rate of 100 per cent.
Some 98 per cent of the 'literates' in the Christian world had completed primary school, while less than 50 per cent of the 'literates' in the Muslim world did the same.
Around 40 per cent of the 'literates' in the Christian world attended university while no more than two per cent of the 'literates' in the Muslim world did the same.
Muslim-majority countries have 230 scientists per one million Muslims. The US has 4,000 scientists per million and Japan has 5,000 per million.
In the entire Arab world, the total number of full-time researchers is 35,000 and there are only 50 technicians per one million Arabs.
(in the Christian world there are up to 1,000 technicians per one million).
Furthermore, the Muslim world spends 0.2 per cent of its GDP on research and development, while the Christian world spends around five per cent of its GDP.
Conclusion: The Muslim world lacks the capacity to produce knowledge!
Daily newspapers per 1,000 people and number of book titles per million are two indicators of whether knowledge is being diffused in a society.
In Pakistan, there are 23 daily newspapers per 1,000 Pakistanis while the same ratio in Singapore is 360. In the UK, the number of book titles per million stands at 2,000 while the same in Egypt is 20.
Conclusion: The Muslim world is failing to diffuse knowledge.
Exports of high technology products as a percentage of total exports are an important indicator of knowledge application.
Pakistan's export of high technology products as a percentage of total exports stands at one per cent.
The same for Saudi Arabia is 0.3 per cent;
Kuwait , Morocco , and Algeria are all at 0.3 per cent,
while Singapore is at 58 per cent.
Conclusion: The Muslim world is failing to apply knowledge.
Why are Muslims powerless?
.....Because we aren't producing knowledge,
.....Because we aren't diffusing knowledge.,
.....Because we aren't applying knowledge.
And, the future belongs to knowledge-based societies.
Interestingly, the combined annual GDP of 57 OIC-countries is under $2 trillion.
America, just by herself, produces goods and services worth $12 trillion;
China $8 trillion,
Japan $3.8 trillion and
Germany $2.4 trillion (purchasing power parity basis).
Oil rich Saudi Arabia , UAE, Kuwait and Qatar collectively produce goods and services (mostly oil) worth $500 billion;
Spain alone produces goods and services worth over $1 trillion,
Catholic Poland $489 billion and
Buddhist Thailand $545 billion.
Muslim GDP as a percentage of world GDP is fast declining.
So, why are Muslims so powerless?
*Answer: Lack of education.
All we do is shout to Allah the whole day and blame everyone else
The Rabbi is leaving
At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.
Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Newton and Brookline, stands up and proclaims,
"If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, "If the rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!"
More sighs and loud applause.
Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the rabbi stays, I will give him sex!"
There is total silence.
The rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?"
Estelle's 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said,
"Fuck him."
Write your Name... Get to see it in the Tattoo!!!!
This is really amazing! I do not know which brilliant person created this. You must try this….
One of the best creative stuff
Enter your Name on the screen that appears and Watch: Click here
> > > > > > JURY Duty Scam > > > > Pass this on to your grown children and anyone else you can think of. This has been verified by the FBI (their link is also included below). Please pass this on to everyone in your email address book. It is spreading fast so be prepared should you get this call. Most of us take those summonses for jury duty seriously, but enough people skip out on their civic duty that a new and ominous kind of fraud has surfaced. > > > > The caller claims to be a jury DUTY coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the Scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Give out any of this information and bingo, your identity was just stolen. > > > > The fraud has been reported so far in 11 states, including Oklahoma , Illinois , and Colorado , AZ and more. This (swindle) is particularly insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try to bully people into giving information by pretending they are with the court system. > > > > The FBI and the federal court system have issued nationwide alerts on their web sites, warning consumers about the fraud. > > Check it out here:> > http://www.fbi.gov/page2/june06/jury_scams060206.htm > > > > And here:> > http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/juryduty.asp > > > > Yep! It's true > > > > Please make sure and pass this on!
LMFAO...................good one SOP!!!
I'll take one of each (the girl, and the car)........LOL
The Hooker.
An Immigrant picks up a hooker.
"Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?" he asks.
"$100" she replies.
In broken English, he says,
"Do you do immigrant style? "No" she says.
"I pay you $200 to do immigrant style."
"No," she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.
"I pay you $300."
"No," she says.
"I pay you $400.
"No," she says.
So finally he says,
"OK, I pay $1,000 to
do immigrant style."
She thinks, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now.
I've had every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the
world. How bad could immigrant style be?
So she agrees and has sex with him. Finally, after several hours,they
finish.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was expecting
something perverted and disgusting.
But that was ok. So, what exactly is immigrant style?"
The illegal immigrant replies, "You send bill to Government."
AND THAT MY FRIENDLY TAXPAYERS,
IS EXACTLY WHAT THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
ARE DOING TO US!
Must be......LOL
TRUE!!!........LOL
If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid, too.
Can you raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it.
Even if you are not old, you will find this interesting...
Short Neurological Test
1- Find the C below.. Please do not use any cursor help.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
69999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
3 - Now find the N below.. It's a little more difficult.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist.
Your brain is great and you're far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer..
Congratulations!
The Arabs feel bad!
The Arabs feel bad in Gaza
They feel bad in Jordan
They feel bad in Jerusalem
They feel bad in Israel (they say they don't get the same rights)
They feel bad in Egypt
They feel bad in Libya
They feel bad in Algeria
They feel bad in Tunisia
They feel bad in Morocco
They feel bad in Yemen
They feel bad in Pakistan
They feel bad in Lebanon
They feel bad in Syria
They feel bad in Sudan
They feel bad in Iran
They feel bad in Tchetchenya
Where do the Arabs feel good?
They feel good in England
They feel good in France
They feel good in Italy
They feel good in Holland
They feel good in Germany
They feel good in Sweden
They feel good in Denmark
They feel good in Norway
They feel good in the USA
They feel good in Canada
They feel good in Australia
They feel good in Rumania
They feel good in Hungary
What can we learn from these facts?
They feel good in all non-Muslim Countries
They feel bad in all Muslim Countries
Who they blame for this?
Not Islam
Not their leaders
Not themselves
They blame the countries where they feel good to live in!
Congratulation buds, I hope he'll grow up to be a nice, healthy and energetic little boy, and you will have ton of fun with him.............welcome to parenthood.
So you do it for fun, there's nothing wrong with that, as long as your back is ok.......
I thought you were retired from the force???
I hope he runs for president, he'll have my vote,
and about Trump, I'll take the 5th on that one............
K9.......lol
If you think he's great, you can have him, I think he's horrible......
The older we get....
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
TWO
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items
and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'
'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the
way!!
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
Life is tough.
It's even tougher if you're
stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run-- anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19.
You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
Forward this to
every one you can remember right now!
Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
It's just a joke... Okay???
Woman asks:
If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut.
But when a man sleeps with 8 girls, everyone calls him a real man. How come?
Man replies:
It's very simple. Confucious say 'When one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, it's a bad lock. But when one key can open 8 different locks, we call it a master key'
Woman asks:
If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut.
But when a man sleeps with 8 girls, everyone calls him a real man. How come?
Man replies:
It's very simple. Confucious say 'When one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, it's a bad lock. But when one key can open 8 different locks, we call it a master key'.
A letter from the UK...to the PM..
Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them 1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy 100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to
reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
If not, please disregard.
Grumpies of the World Unite
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay 600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
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COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow...
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THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours?
It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this -
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery? and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians..... It creates a hostile work environment.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk to speak up!
PARLA ITALIANA ????
At a bus stop, 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
Emma come first. Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.
The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig, she retorted indignantly! In this country we don't speak aloud in public place about our sex lives!"
"Hey, coola down lady, said the man. Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '!"
$ 5.00 says you're gonna read this again!
I came to a conclusion, that this company, along with 99.99999% of penny stocks, are headed by f'ing crooks, and I no longer want anything to do with this BS. All I have done, is lose money on these crap, I am resigning as the mod here, I wish you all good luck in trading.
I agree with you 1000% my friend, Ihub is only good for crooks!!!
I will, if you will.....LOL
I vote for you, Tom I think you should resume as asst. mod!!!
More than you think.......
Me???........LOL