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You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
The universe is a figment of its own imagination. There's no future in time travel.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.
Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.