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And every vending machine from here to Boston,ha ha ha.
nomodo,
using quarters is better because I can sneak in Canadian ones instead and save 35%. They'll never know the difference.
That is a funny song, ha ha ha.
Just wait until Leclair returns to the Flyers next month!!!!
Player Poll:
Should visors be made mandatory for players entering the NHL?
Yes: 60 percent
No: 40 percent
Anaheim: Steve Rucchin - Yes
"As long as the players take the responsibility to play clean and the refs watch it, I don't think it's a bad thing to have visors for the young guys (coming into the league).'
Atlanta: Anonymous player - Yes
"The guys who are in the league now, I think they should be able to keep doing what they're doing. But for the guys who are coming into the league now, I think shields should be mandatory. There's too many guys getting injured now. You can lose your whole career."
Boston: Bryan Berard - No
"Not at all. We're professional athletes and I think we have a choice. Really, I don't have a choice. I have to. I have to protect myself and my eye now. But I can honestly say, if that injury did not happen, I don't know if I'd be wearing a shield today. It definitely has saved me a few times since I've had it on from a few stitches but it was tough to get used to at first. You could see some guys try them and they don't like them and they take them off. I guess my answer would be no. I don't think they should be mandatory at all."
Buffalo: Curtis Brown - Yes
"Yes. It’s a personal choice and I know a lot of guys don't like to wear them, but if the league mandated it, it would probably save a few careers.'
Calgary: Jarome Iginla - Yes
"I would support it. It's good for safety. For myself, it's saved me a few stitches here and there. I can see why some players coming in, play a physical rugged game. It's been known as a soft thing by some people to wear a visor, so if it's grand fathered in, there's no stigma about it, it's just a safety matter. Personally, wearing a visor now (after nearly losing an eye some years back), I think it's great for safety. At first, there was a little bit of an adjustment, but I got used to it."
Carolina: Bret Hedican - No
"It should be up to the player, but if a young guy feels like he should wear it, no question he should."
Chicago: Anonymous - No
Entry-level players should not be required to wear helmets.
Colorado: Peter Forsberg - No
"I don't think so, but maybe they should have it for the first couple years, for the young guys coming in. But I think it's up to every player to choose what they want to do. For me, it was natural, because I played in the Swedish League, where it was mandatory.".
Columbus: David Vyborny - No
"I got used to wearing mine in Europe. I can't imagine playing without one. I've seen too many gross things happen to guys who don't wear them. But, I think it should be up to them. If they want to wear them, wear them. If they don't, why should anybody make them."
Dallas: Philippe Boucher - No
"It should be up to the players. You'll see more (visors) in the league with younger guys coming in. I probably should be wearing one. I don't know what the league thinks about it, but it should be left to the players. Every year, there's more and more. The percentage keeps going up."
Detroit: Igor Larionov - Yes
"They've been playing with a visor since they were kids. I think it's going to happen in a year or two."
Edmonton: Ryan Smyth - No
Florida: Marcus Nilson - No
"I just think it should be up to the player."
Los Angeles: Ian Laperriere - No
"We lost Bryan Smolinski to an eye injury and still don't have him back, but I think players would still like to decide whether they want to wear a shield rather than let someone tell them what they can do."
Minnesota: Anonymous - Yes
"I don't wear one, but I think it would be a good idea for the league to make players wear it because of all the injuries that can happen to a player."
Montreal" Saku Koivu - Yes
"I play with a visor and I don't have a problem with it. Juniors have to wear them and they do in Europe, too. I don't think it should be a problem. You should protect your eyes," said Saku Koivu.
Nashville: Greg Johnson - No
"This is our profession. It's up to each individual, regardless of his age, to decide how he feels most comfortable."
New Jersey: Scott Gomez - No
"Incoming players shouldn't be made to wear visors. Each guy knows the risk, what can happen. It's the NHL and you should have the right to decide on your own."
NY Islanders: Alexei Yashin - No
"I choose to wear (a visor), but it always should be a player's decision whether he wants to. It's tough for me to say what other people should do."
NY Rangers: Jamie Lundmark - No
"I'd like to have the same opportunity every other player who's come into the NHL before me has had, and that's to be able to choose for myself."
Ottawa: Todd White - No
"I believe that would be tough to do because I don't think you can make guys wear visors if they don't want to play. I wear one because I don't have a choice, but I think players want to have the choice."
Philadelphia: Simon Gagne - Yes
"I don't know why anyone would take it off. Why take it off? You take it off, you get cut all the time. There have been times when I've had to change my shield every fourth or fifth game (because of scratches, etc)."
Phoenix: Danny Briere - Yes
"After you get hit a few times in and around your eyes, you think twice about it. I've seen it too many times. Bryan Berard almost lost his eye a few years ago when he was playing with Toronto. The same thing almost happened to Landon (Wilson) here. I know it's tough for the big guys, who don't think it's cool, but I think everybody should wear a shield."
Pittsburgh: Ian Moran - No
"I don't like visors, to tell you the truth. You'd think I'd be a guy to wear one with my size and trying to block shots. You get used to not wearing one, though, and it's tough to change. Hopefully I'll never have to wear one because of an injury."
St. Louis: Al MacInnis - No
"I don't think so. It should be up to the individual to wear the visor. But at the same time, I think that you have with a lot of young players coming into the league that have to wear them in junior and college the possibility -if they're used to them, might as well keep them on."
San Jose: Vincent Damphousse - Yes
"I've played with it since my junior days, it doesn't bother me at all. I think guys coming in would be smarter first of all to wear shields and protect themselves. It's been a choice for a lot of years, but now with all the high sticks, I would approve of it being mandatory for the new guys coming and for the rest of the guys it's up to them like the helmets were in the 1970s."
Tampa Bay: Anonymous - No
Toronto: Alyn McCauley - Yes
"I don't see why it would be such a big problem. They're already wearing them in junior and I think in Europe and in college hockey they have to wear the full cage. For those guys, it wouldn't be a big adjustment at all."
Vancouver: Brendan Morrison - Yes
"I don‚t know why guys wouldn't. It's a personal choice and I don't know if you can take that away from guys. But you can't get an eye back so why take a chance?"
Washington: Steve Konowalchuk - No
"I don't think they should be mandatory. The people out there are grown men and they should be responsible for themselves."
Flyers acquire former first-rounder Chouinard from Canadiens
Montreal, Quebec (Sports Network) - The Philadelphia Flyers acquired former first-round selection Eric Chouinard from the Montreal Canadiens in exchange for a second-round pick in the 2003 entry draft on Wednesday.
The minor-league forward was the Canadiens' first-round pick in 1998. The 22- year-old has 12 goals and 12 assists in 32 games with the Utah Grizzlies of the American Hockey League.
Chouinard has a goal and three assists in 13 NHL games.
The Flyers also recalled defenseman Jim Vandermeer from the Philadelphia Phantoms of the AHL, and assigned defenseman Chris McAllister to the Phantoms for conditioning purposes.
01/29 22:38:46 ET
Wickenheiser improving her game
Canadian Press
HEINOLA, Finland
Hayley Wickenheiser played her best game so far for Kirkkonummi Salamat in a 2-0 win Wednesday over Heki, but is still looking for her first goal.
"I had a few good chances to score," Wickenheiser said from the team bus following the game.
"It's not going in at this point. I just have to be patient. As long as the team is winning I think it's going pretty good so far."
Wickenheiser has one assist in five games with Salamat, a second-division men's team in the Finnish league.
Immo Suutarinen, Wickenheiser's linemate, scored the first goal of the game in front of 1,257, which is one of the largest crowds in Heki's recent history.
Wickenheiser, from Shaunavon, Sask., played almost 151/2 minutes on Salamat's third line and spent more time on the penalty killing unit than she had in her previous game.
She won seven of 10 faceoffs and had three shots on goal.
"Every game keeps getting better," she said. "Today was my best game by far as far as getting the puck and handling it a bit more, taking the time to make plays and seeing the ice.
"Obviously you want to be scoring and you want to be getting points. As long as you're good on the plus-minus, then it's OK."
Suutarinen and Kalle Kontio are the 24-year-old Wickenheiser's wingers.
"Hayley is learning to know her linemates better day-by-day," coach Matt Hagman said. "Thus, she plays better with the puck."
Added Wickenheiser: "They're typical Canadian-style players where they tend to stay up and down on the wings and forecheck hard and they like to hit.
"I'm just learning to kind of get into the open spaces. I'm starting to get the puck a lot more. We had quite a few chances today.
"Those guys are scoring regularly so they're on a roll. I just have to start myself, I guess."
Antti Tevanen also scored and goaltender Hannu Toivonen recorded his second shutout of the season for the division-leading Salamat.
Wickenheiser will play her second home game with Salamat on Saturday at Varuboden Arena against Titaanit. A Salamat team spokesmen said as of Wednesday there were a few dozen tickets available for that game.
The bus ride from Heinola back to Kirkkonummi on Wednesday was a two-hour ride, though the longest trip is five hours, said Wickenheiser.
"It's something I haven't done in a long time, is ride the bus, because with the women's team, either we're flying or playing in the same city," said Wickenheiser. "It is an adjustment, but I don't mind it."
Yeah, I am going to do like that guy in the states who clipped out 45 coupons for $200 off a new car and took them all to the dealer looking for $9000 off. I could become Ihub's best customer, hmmmm let's see a couple dozen accounts a day times $20 each, hmmmm, sounds like a business plan to me. ha ha ha
question:
When I click on the homepage to see how much new accounts cost, this is what I see:
Monthly $6.95
Semi-Annual $39.95
Annual $69.95
Lifetime Membership $60
Grandfather/Lifetime Upgrade $-20
Now, I am currently an Annual subscriber I believe, which according to that info cost $9 more than a lifetime would have cost me???? And if I choose to upgrade to the grandfather/lifetime you guys are going to give me $20? I'll take it. Please send it as 2 rolls of quarters as I am addicted to KENO, ha ha ha.
Seriously, how much does it actually cost me to upgrade to Lifetime before it disappears, or is it actually $9 less than I already paid????
I'm going to swear off the market next new years eve, and start drinking and gambling more. They are cheaper habits and it gives a little back to the community. I better have one last good year before I retire though, ha ha ha.
Funny how we all have a story like that, yet we still keep playing the game? Best of luck in 2003.
Hmm, either your stuttering or there is an echo in here. ha ha ha
Thanks broderick, but no need to go back as I have followed his posts since he arrived here. I have followed the GMXX story as well so I am well aware of most of his history of events.
You should be keeeping track of all this and writing an expose. Have you tried to go to some sort of investigative media source like 60 minutes or something like that?
I spent more on a hotel room there than I did on the car, ha ha ha.
Now this is nasty:
Jan 29, 2003
Helmer sent to Manitoba
VANCOUVER, British Columbia (AP) -- The Vancouver Canucks sent defenseman Bryan Helmer to Manitoba of the AHL on Wednesday, clearing a roster spot for All-Star Ed Jovanovski.
YES! I drove the dig! What a mess, there were cones and barricades directing me up and over and under and around. It took me a bit to drive through it the first time.
ps. your directions helped, thanks.
Looks like they are doing their best to steer clear of me. I am virtually in the center of their "we are not here" area. ha ha ha.
Montana was just on the way home. I actually drove all the way to Alberta, but for the sake of my geographicly impared friends south of the 49th, I substituted Montana. ha ha ha.
ps. it was warmer here than it was in Boston, Buffalo, or Chicago and there was no snow west of Chicago at all.
Mayorga gets a KO in 3!
In the main event of the evening at the Pechanga Resort and Casino the upset of the year occurred as the charismatic Ricardo “El Matador” Mayorga became the WBA and WBC unified welterweight champion. Former WBC champion Vernon Forrest was boxing smoothly until the end of the first round when he became tangled up with Mayorga and was thrown to the canvas. The referee ruled a knockdown but Forrest was clearly unhurt. In the second round Mayorga was able to entice Forrest into a brawl. Forrest landed some crisp right uppercuts but Mayorga showed a tremendous chin by shaking them off as if they were nothing.
In the third round Mayorga came out of his corner and landed a series of right hands to the head of Forrest. Forrest’s legs appeared shaky and Mayorga immediately capitalized by forcing Forrest onto the ropes where he landed a huge right hand that ended the bout at the 2:06 mark. Forrest appeared to be hurt very badly but later claimed he could have continued, “We’re in championship unification fight. [As] A true champion you’re supposed to go out on your back, you’re not supposed to go out standing up.”
Many ringside observers wondered what had caused Forrest, who is primarily known for his excellent jab and his ability to smother fighters on the inside, to slug it out with the wild Nicaraguan champion. Forrest claimed that it was his choice to slug with Mayorga, “I’m a fighter, I have the ability to box and people always saw me box. But nobody ever really saw me fight. Some guys you box, some guys you fight.”
“When you’re fighting a guy like that you have to stand your ground sometimes, let a guy know that he’s not in there with a punching bag he’s in there with a true fighter,” explained a humbled Forrest, “I knew that I wasn’t gonna try to box this guy for twelve rounds. I knew that I sooner or later I was gonna have to sit down and fight with him, and I chose to sit down and fight with him early.”
Whether or not Forrest truly chose to forgo his normal game plan and slug his wilder foe, or he was merely forced into that type of fight due to the physical strength and constant attack of Mayorga is a question that may be answered in a rematch. Don King saw his opportunity to align himself with a more fragile-minded Forrest at the post fight press conference. King said that a rematch is definitely in the works after Mayorga fights to unify the IBF title versus the winner of the rematch between Corey Spinks and Michelle Piccirillo. Spinks was robbed last year in the first fight between the two in Italy and is a definite spoiler. It makes very little sense for King to put his new shining star in against a guy with such an awkward style.
The brash Mayorga clearly fears no one, but few fans would care to see him chasing Spinks around the ring for twelve rounds. Mayorga let his intentions regarding the future be known after the fight though, “I want to tell everyone that I’m gonna beat anyone at 147 and I just have to talk to my boss over here (Don King).”
As was the case after he defeated Andrew “Six Heads” Lewis for his title last year, Mayorga heaped praise upon Don King as his savior. It almost seemed as if he would praise King first and foremost, and then “also, by the way” give credit to God and his family. Mayorga refused to give Forrest any credit, despite taking what appeared to be some very hard, flush uppercuts during the fight.
“Before the fight I told everyone that Vernon Forrest doesn’t mean anything to me. The only punches that I’ve ever felt have been from my father when he punched me when I was a kid,” joked the confident champion when asked if Forrest hurt him at all in the fight.
One possible future opponent for Mayorga was on hand at the post fight press conference to state his case as a worthy foe. WBO Champion Antonio Margarito, who fights in two weeks against former champion and Mayorga victim “Six Heads” Lewis, issued a challenge to Mayorga and Don King. King was his usual hilarious self as he said to the WBO champ in his best Spanish accent, “Oh Antonio Margarito, the only problem with you is, you ain’t with me.” When King found out Margarito was facing Lewis, a fighter he formerly promoted who unceremoniously left him, he couldn’t help but urge him to win decisively.
“You just gave me a shot in the arm. You’re gonna be fighting Six Heads?” asked King, “You gotta take him out man!! Take him out Antonio, absolutamente, exacto!!!”
In the co-feature Joel Casamayor won a unanimous decision over the previously unbeaten Nate Campbell. Casamayor started slowly as Campbell swept the first three rounds with his aggression as he bounced around on the outside and peppered the Cuban former champion. Casamayor was unable to get into any sort of rhythm early on as he looked to slip Campbell’s right hands and counter with his own straight lefts. After round three Casamayor began to take the fight over as Campbell seemed to tire. Both fighters began to trade body shots in the trenches in round four. As the fight got progressively rougher it seemed to be to the advantage of the more experienced fighter, Casamayor.
Casamayor was as accurate as he normally is, however he again showed an iron chin by absorbing some right hands from the hard punching Campbell which caused cuts and swelling over his left eye. Age may be catching up to Casamayor, who doesn’t seem to have the foot speed he once did a few years ago. He still is a tough, experienced former champion who came through when the going got tough against his younger foe. When asked his thoughts after the fight Campbell felt that he won and said that the most difficult part of the fight for him was “beating the judges.”
At the post fight press conference a beat up looking Casamayor said he was pleased with his performance, “I’d like to thank HBO for this opportunity, I’m very happy to be here. Nate Campbell is a good opponent-he was undefeated. This is the second puncher I’ve made run. I made Freitas run and now I made this guy run. The guy was running on me, so the first three rounds I had a hard time figuring the kid out. But later I got into rhythm and started backing him up.”
On the non televised undercard Xavier Tolliver (11-2 8Kos) scored a technical knockout Jerry Sarabay (4-3) as the bout was stopped after round four due to a right ear injury to the southpaw Sarabay. Yuri Foreman improved to 8-0 as he knocked out midwesterner Will Evans with a big hook at the 1:38 mark of the first round. Cedric Boswell was unimpressive in stopping Jim Strohl in round five. Boswell looked winded and was throwing quite a few arm punches against the gritty foe. Robert Allen was put in against an inept opponent named Kevin Hall who showed little resistance before folding in one round. Derek Bryant stopped a survival minded Damon Reed in two rounds. Milan Roldzak was knocked out by a downward right hand from the taller Malcolm Tann (3-0)
GARY SHAW PRODUCTIONS & FIGHT NIGHT UNITE TO PROMOTE
MIKE TYSON vs CLIFFORD ETIENNE
FEB. 22 at THE PYRAMID on SHOWTIME and SHO HDTV
MEMPHIS, TN (January 29, 2003) -- GARY SHAW PRODUCTIONS, LLC and FIGHT NIGHT, INC. will co-promote the February 22 Mike Tyson - Clifford Etienne event at The Pyramid in Memphis, TN. SHOWTIME Championship Boxing and SHO HDTV, will televise the heavyweight rumble, beginning at 10 P.M. EST / 10 P.M. PST.
Gary Shaw and Bill Kozerski, the CEOs of Gary Shaw Productions and Fight Night, respectively, were co-promoters for Tyson's last fight, against world heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis last June. Lewis-Tyson was the largest and most successful event in boxing history, with pay-per-view purchases exceeding 1.9 million.
Shaw and Kozerski, combined, have over 40 years of experience in boxing. Together, they will handle all promotional duties for the event, including directing all the logistics of the fight, media operations and coordinating with the Mayor's office and the various law enforcement agencies of Memphis and Tunica.
HEAVYWEIGHT HOPES: Tyson still focusing on Lewis
www.lvrj.com - January 29, 2003
It didn't take Mike Tyson long to realize he was in trouble when he fought heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis last year.
The June 8 fight, perhaps the most hyped bout in boxing history, was less than a minute old when Tyson knew he was in for a long night. Lewis won by an eighth-round technical knockout in a career-defining performance in which Tyson put up little resistance.
Tyson, training in Las Vegas for his Feb. 22 bout in Memphis, Tenn., against Clifford Etienne, said by the end of the first round his legs felt like cement and he could barely move.
"I wasn't into the fight," a relaxed and jovial Tyson said before a sparring session at the Golden Gloves Gym. "After the first round, I came back to the corner and I was dead tired. ... I didn't know what the hell had happened to me."
Tyson said he hoped his punching power would pull him through. Now, with a rematch looming, he said he hopes to make the improvements that will help him reverse the most one-sided loss of his career.
New trainer Freddie Roach has been forcing Tyson to work, and the results have showed around Tyson's waist, as he looks much trimmer than he has in a long time.
Tyson said he wasn't focused for Lewis, leisurely going through his training because he didn't think Lewis had the courage to stand in against him. Tyson expected Lewis to wilt as so many, notably Bruce Seldon and Frank Bruno, had done.
"I just knew I was going to win the fight," Tyson said. "(But) I don't know what I was thinking. I thought this guy was going to give his belt up, like some of these guys do, just put his belt in the ring and let me take it."
Lewis, though winning no awards for bravery, didn't surrender and did what he had to do to win. Even though trainer Emanuel Steward was exhorting Lewis to attack Tyson as early as the fourth round, Lewis was cautious and stayed outside, working behind the jab.
Only when Lewis realized Tyson had nothing left did he open up and finish Tyson off. Steward said Tyson was slowed by a right hand at the end of the first round, but Tyson said it had more to do with his condition than with anything Lewis did.
"I don't remember any one (punch) in particular that really would have made me quit fighting," Tyson said. "He hit me with a lot of right hands. I don't even know what (Steward's) talking about. Listen, if Lennox was that dominant, he should have knocked me out in the second or third round. He was still scared. He didn't take no risks."
And that is why Tyson thinks the rematch will sell despite the fact that he said in the ring after the first fight that he could never beat Lewis. The first fight sold more than 1.9 million pay-per-view purchases, and the second is expected to be able to do at least half as well.
Lewis had talked about an April fight against Vitali Klitschko, but Lewis' attorney, Judd Burstein, said last week that fight was off and Lewis was looking ahead to a June fight with Tyson.
Tyson said he isn't surprised Lewis would consider fighting him again.
"Who else is he going to fight?" Tyson said. "Let's not get it twisted. I'm not going to try to be Mr. prima donna and stroke my own ego, but I'm the hottest thing coming down the pike. The only reason those guys when they beat me, they don't make history, they get a bank book. Then they go to oblivion afterward. It's too bad it has to be that way, but somebody has to be the guy."
Tyson Says Passion Is Back, Thanks to Beating from Lewis
Associated Press - January 28, 2003
LAS VEGAS (AP) - Mike Tyson says his passion for fighting is back.
For that, he can thank Lennox Lewis.
``It always comes back'' after taking a beating, Tyson said.
Seven months after Lewis did just that to him in Memphis, Tyson sat in a small dressing room Tuesday and talked about why he was beaten by Lewis, why he wants to fight again and why he thinks he has a chance in a planned June 21 rematch.
He offered no excuses, and he made no promises. But it was clear that underneath it all Tyson still believes he is the baddest heavyweight around.
``If he was that dominant he should have knocked me out in the second or third round,'' Tyson said of Lewis. ``He was still scared. He took no risks.''
Lewis, of course, didn't need to take many risks the night of June 8 when he gave Tyson a beating in the richest heavyweight title fight ever.
Tyson had a solid first round, then fought the rest of the way in a sleepwalk before Lewis finally stopped him with a right hand to the jaw at 2:25 of the eighth round.
Tyson insisted he trained hard for the fight, only to come in weighing more than he had at the press conference to announce it. He had problems with sparring partners in camp, though, and felt tired after all of his workouts.
Maybe, he thought, he was trying too hard to do something which before came quite natural.
Whatever the reason, Tyson said he knew after the first round that it was not going to be his night.
``I came back to the corner and I was dead. I was dead tired,'' he said. ``I didn't know what I'd do now.''
Tyson, who fights Clifford Etienne in Memphis on Feb. 22 in his first fight since losing to Lewis, talked for the first time publicly about why he lost as he sat getting his hands wrapped for a sparring session.
As usual with Tyson, the conversation drifted to things beyond boxing. It didn't help that actress Meg Ryan was there with a camera shooting pictures.
``Hi Mike, I'm Meg,'' she said.
``I know who you are,'' he replied.
Tyson was in a good mood, but there was clearly work to be done for new trainer Freddie Roach. With his shirt off he appeared in good shape and near his expected fighting weight.
Etienne is not likely to cause Tyson many problems, but he desperately needs a big knockout win not only to regain his confidence but to sell a proposed June 21 rematch with Lewis.
Lewis said Friday through his attorney, Judd Burstein, that he was skipping a planned April 12 fight with Vitali Klitschko and would likely face Tyson again in June if Tyson looks good against Etienne.
A Tyson-Lewis rematch won't do the business the first fight did, but still could be lucrative for both fighters. Tyson used the Lewis fight to pay off debts he owed the Showtime network, and he must pay $6.5 million of his future purses to his ex-wife, Monica, as part of their divorce settlement.
``Who else is he going to fight?'' Tyson asked of Lewis. ``I'm not going to try and be Mr. Primadonna and stroke my ego, but I'm still the hottest guy going down the pike.''
Roach, a former fighter who is the latest in a series of trainers for Tyson, said he believes Tyson still has some big fights left.
``It's a challenge,'' Roach said. ``Maybe I can get into his head and help him.''
Klitschko promoter in New York; threatens legal action against Lewis if he fights Tyson
Associated Press - January 28, 2003
HAMBURG, Germany (AP) - Vitali Klitschko's promoter threatened to sue WBC heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis for breach of contract if he fights Mike Tyson next instead of his own fighter.
German Promoter Klaus-Peter Kohl was in New York Tuesday in efforts to salvage the fight against Lewis and plans to meet with Lewis' manager Adrian Ogen, and the fighter's lawyer, Judd Burnstein.
``Our position is clear, either Lewis honors the contract to fight Vitali Klitschko or there are only two possibilities - we will seek millions in court or he will be stripped of his WBC title,'' said Rainer Koppke, a spokesman for Klitschko's promotion company, Universum Boxing.
Kohl said on Monday he and Ogen, representing Lewis promoters Lion Promotion, had signed a contract in December, setting up an April fight between the WBC beltholder and Klitschko.
``I have to make this clear - I regard this as breach of contract,'' Kohl said. ``In the next few days, I will examine all my possibilities for legal action.''
Klitschko's camp was surprised by the statement from Burnstein on Friday that negotiations had collapsed between Lewis and the big 2.02 meter (6-ft-8) Ukrainian, the WBC's No. 1 challenger.
Burnstein said Lewis would prefer to fight Tyson in June and is watching how the former champion fares against Clifford Etienne on Feb. 22 in Memphis, Tennessee.
``Now that there will be no April fight, Lennox has a contractual obligation to consider Mike Tyson as his June opponent and looks forward to seeing how Tyson performs against Clifford Etienne,'' Burnstein said.
Lewis and Tyson have a rematch clause after their much-anticipated fight in June concluded with Lewis ending a one-sided bout in the eighth round.
Koppke said Klitschko's camp believes Lewis is afraid of the Ukrainian fighter, but the latest development is mainly prompted by money.
``Lewis thinks he can make more money fighting Tyson, against whom he can't lose, than Klitschko, against whom he could lose,'' Koppke said.
Tyson said he didn't think he could beat Lewis after their uneven fight in June.
Lewis was once undisputed heavyweight champion, but gave up two of the belts, the last one so that he did not have to fight No. 1 IBF contender Chris Byrd. Byrd later went on to beat Evander Holyfield in December to win the vacant IBF title.
Klitschko is the older brother of Wladimir Klitschko, the WBO champion.
Lewis Drops Klitschko Bout, Focuses on Tyson Rematch
USA TODAY - January 28, 2003
Heavyweight champ Lennox Lewis finally showed up for a meeting with HBO late last week after putting network brass off for several days. The news he delivered was no more surprising than the late arrival.
Lewis decided to forgo an April fight with Vitali Klitschko and instead will return June 21, probably in a rematch vs. Mike Tyson, whom he crushed June 8 in the biggest money fight in history.
Although both have a rematch clause that allowed an interim bout, Lewis won't seek one. Tyson is fighting one, and Lewis will wait to see how Tyson makes out in a 10-rounder vs. Clifford Etienne on Feb. 22 in the Memphis ring where Lewis knocked him out.
''Now that there will be no April fight, Lennox has a contractual obligation to consider Mike Tyson as his June opponent and looks forward to seeing how Tyson performs,'' said Judd Burstein, Lewis' attorney.
''We had a very productive meeting with Lennox,'' HBO Sports President Ross Greenburg said. ''HBO is excited that Lennox intends to defend his heavyweight crown in June, and we look forward to finalizing those plans based on Mike Tyson's performance.''
Tyson adviser Shelly Finkel said he's ready to work on the rematch as soon as the Feb. 22 fight is over.
''If Mike looks the way I hope he does, we'll put the fight together for June,'' Finkel said. ''I told Mike that Lennox is not fighting Vitali, and he said, 'Great.' He knows what he has to do with Etienne.''
Burstein said there were too many outstanding issues in the Klitschko negotiations to iron out in time for an April fight. Klitschko promoter Peter Kohl was unhappy with Lewis' decision and said he has a signed contract for the bout.
''I regard this as a breach of contract,'' Kohl said. ''I will check every possible legal step.''
Of a possible lawsuit, Burstein said, ''The paper trail is so to the contrary of the Klitschko camp's position that we're not remotely concerned.'' Lewis eventually could have to face Klitschko or risk being stripped of his WBC belt. Klitschko is the mandatory challenger. Lewis already has given up two other belts rather than fight mandatory opponents.
Quick hits: Featherweight king Marco Antonio Barrera's April 12 HBO PPV opponent could be junior featherweight champ Oscar Larios, who is being considered along with ex-champ Kevin Kelley. . . . Showtime has added two fights to its schedule. March 15, junior lightweight champ Acelino Freitas meets long-faded Gabe Ruelas. March 22, featherweight titlist Scott Harrison of Scotland will be on home turf vs. Wayne McCullough of Northern Ireland in a highly anticipated British showdown. . . . Proving that yesterday's enemy can be today's meal ticket, Gary Shaw is co-promoting Tyson's Feb.22 bout along with Bill Kozerski. The last time Shaw promoted a Tyson fight, he was on Lewis' side. But Shaw split with Main Events after that fight and is working on Tyson's behalf.
Quotable: ''After my father's beatings as a child, nothing hurts.'' -- Welterweight champ Ricardo Mayorga, when asked after winning Saturday's fight whether any of Vernon Forrest's punches hurt.
agreed. It is nice to not have to listen to "who are the directors....." and will be even nicer to have more info reach the public in the near future.
I've never had one. I wonder where the closest KKD store is? I just drove all the way from Boston to Montana this week and didn't see a single one.
20. Phoenix (25)
Good: In six of his first nine starts, Zac Bierk allowed one or zero goals.
Bad: In Bierk's four losses, the Coyotes have scored a total of two goals.
Curious: Beat Calgary 7-1 and Edmonton 5-1, and then lost 1-0 to Vancouver on their Western Canada trip.
21. San Jose (24)
Good: A current three-game winning streak, their longest of the season.
Bad: After scoring 15 points in December, Patrick Marleau has just four in January.
Curious: Kyle McLaren played his first game for the Sharks in a 3-1 defeat of Los Angeles and got into a fight in the first period of
22. Florida (21)
Good: In 314 games prior to this season, Olli Jokinen had 35 goals; in 50 games this year he has 25 and is on pace for 41.
Bad: Valeri Bure doesn't have a goal in his last 24 games.
Curious: The Panthers hadn't outshot an opponent for 16 consecutive games before outshooting Montreal 38-35 in a 6-3 loss.
23. NY Rangers (20)
Good: Jamie Lundmark has six goals in 10 games since being recalled from the minors.
Bad: Have been outscored 16-5 in their last three games, all losses.
Curious: The Rangers were 6-0 in Atlanta before losing 5-2 in their most recent game. At home, the Rangers are 3-4 against the Thrashers.
24. Nashville (23)
Good: It's official, David Legwand is a breakout player. He is just three points shy of his career high in his first three seasons.
Bad: Vitali Yachmenev scored his first goal of the season in his 30th game.
Curious: Defenseman, Andy Delmore, is third in the league with 12 power play goals.
25. Los Angeles (22)
Good: Six of their next eight games are at home.
Bad: The Kings don't have a regulation time win in their last 11 games.
Curious: Felix Potvin has been pulled in five of his last 13 starts.
26. Columbus (26)
Good: Espen Knutsen returned to the lineup after missing 39 games with abdominal surgery.
Bad: In their last four road games, the Blue Jackets have allowed 24 goals.
Curious: Ray Whitney is only 11 points shy of breaking the Blue Jackets record for points in one season. He currently holds the record with 61 points.
27. Carolina (28)
Good: A win, 3-1 over Florida.
Bad: One win in their last 11 games.
Curious: Rod Brind'Amour is gone for the season after tearing a tendon in his hand.
28. Calgary (27)
Good: Beat Detroit 4-1 after being shutout twice in three previous losses to the Red Wings this season.
Bad: 7-1 home loss to Phoenix, followed by a 4-3 road loss to the Coyotes.
Curious: Harvey the Hound has been the Calgary mascot for 19 years. He's 6-6, and does not have a tongue.
29. Atlanta (30)
Good: 5-1-1 under new coach, Bob Hartley.
Bad: Have allowed 4.1 goals against per game on the road.
Curious: Dany Heatley leads all goal scorers in January with 13.
30. Buffalo (29)
Good: Three consecutive shutouts by Martin Biron.
Bad: Lost 5-1 at home to Nashville to break their eight-game streak of earning at least one point.
Curious: Nashville is the only team the Sabres have never beaten in Buffalo. They are 3-0-1 lifetime against them.
11. NY Islanders (13)
Good: The Islanders haven't lost consecutive games in regulation time since November 29 and 30.
Bad: Chris Osgood is out for up to a month with a sprained ankle.
Curious: Three of their last four losses were by shutout.
12. Toronto (9)
Good: Travis Green is second on the team in scoring in January, with eight points, half of his total for the season.
Bad: One goal in their last three games.
Curious: The Maple Leafs haven't scored a power play goal in their last seven games.
13. Edmonton (15)
Good: Have earned at least a point in nine of their last 12 games.
Bad: Tommy Salo is going through a rough stretch in the Oilers net.
Curious: Todd Marchant leads the Oilers in points in January with 15 points (3-12-15).
14. Washington (10)
Good: Jaromir Jagr leads all players with 21 points (9-12-21) in January.
Bad: After a 5-3 loss to St. Louis, the Caps are just 4-8-3-1 against the Western Conference.
Curious: The Caps have 20 power play goals in 14 January games.They had 22 in their previous 38 games.
15. Tampa Bay (18)
Good: Their last three wins have come against Ottawa, Dallas and Philadelphia.
Bad: The only winning month the Lightning have had was October.
Curious: John Grahame, not Nikolai Khabibulin, was in net for each of the wins mentioned above.
16. Chicago (11)
Good: After their current eight-game road trip, 16 of their final 26 games will be at home.
Bad: A six-game winless streak (0-5-1).
Curious: Have allowed at least four goals in six consecutive road games.
17. Anaheim (16)
Good: 9-1-0-1 against the Central Division.
Bad: 2-6-3 against their own Pacific Division.
Curious: Alexei Smirnov, recently recalled from the minors, had two points in the opening game of the season, and has two points in 26 games since that time.
18. Montreal (19)
Good: Claude Julien is 3-0-2-1 since taking over the coaching job.
Bad: Joe Juneau hasn't had a goal in his last 30 games.
Curious: In a game against Florida, Patrice Brisebois scored his first goal after being blanked in his previous 33 games, and Randy McKay scored his first after going 15 games without even a point.
19. Pittsburgh (17)
Good: In February, the Penguins play eight of their 12 games at home.
Bad: Mario Lemieux is unable to play in the all star game.
Curious: Steve McKenna has five of his seven goals on the season in January, and leads the team in goal scoring for the month.
20. Phoenix (25)
Good: In six of his first nine starts, Zac Bierk allowed one or zero goals.
Bad: In Bierk's four losses, the Coyotes have scored a total of two goals.
Curious: Beat Calgary 7-1 and Edmonton 5-1, and then lost 1-0 to Vancouver on their Western Canada trip.
NHL Team Rankings: Jan. 29, 2003
January 29, 2003
The Dallas Stars shoot up to first place on thehockeynews.com's weekly NHL Team Rankings.
1. Dallas (2)
Good: 11-1-3 in their last 15 games.
Bad: The Stars are 1-4-6 when tied after two periods. Yeah, it's a stretch, but try to find something bad about this time.
Curious: Marty Turco is 8-0 against Canadian teams this season.
2. Ottawa (1)
Good: Have earned at least one point in nine straight home games (7-0-1-1)
Bad: Lost 5-3 to potential Stanley Cup final opponent, Dallas.
Curious: Martin Havlat has eight goals in January, nine previously all season.
3. New Jersey (3)
Good: Have earned at least one point in their last 10 games.
Bad: Nothing, the way they've been playing, except that Oleg Tverdovsky is out of the lineup with what may be a concussion.
Curious: Jay Pandolfo has four goals, all of them game winners.
4. Philadelphia (4)
Good: 10-3-0-1 in January.
Bad: Were shut out for the seventh time this season in a 1-0 loss to Boston. Last year, they were shut out three times over the whole season.
Curious: The Flyers have held their opponents to three or fewer power play opportunities for nine games in a row.
5. Vancouver (7)
Good: Both Ed Jovanovski and Trevor Linden were given three year contract extensions.
Bad: Seven of Vancouver's first nine games in February are on the road.
Curious: Markus Naslund and Todd Bertuzzi have 16 goals in January. The rest of the forwards combined have 10.
6. St. Louis (6)
Good: The Blues have seven players on pace for 20-goal seasons, and two others not far behind.
Bad: The Blues have allowed multiple power play goals against in 15 games.
Curious: Were trailing 3-1 with 2:44 remaining in the second period in a game at Washington, and went to the second intermission with a 4-3 lead. They went on to win 5-3.
7. Detroit (5)
Good: Ten of their next 13 games are at home.
Bad: A losing record in January of 5-7-0-1
Curious: Brett Hull needs one goal for 700 for his career.
8. Boston (12)
Good: Jeff Hackett - two games, one goal.
Bad: Eight of their last nine games in February will be on the road.
Curious: John Grahame, whom the Bruins traded before getting Hackett, has been spectacular in Tampa Bay.
9. Minnesota (8)
Good: The Wild didn't allow a power play goal in eight consecutive games.
Bad: A losing record of 5-6-1 in January.
Curious: The Wild have had nine 2-1 games, winning six and losing three.
10. Colorado (14)
Good: Consecutive shutouts by Patrick Roy and player of the week honors.
Bad: Injuries to Derek Morris and Joe Sakic.
Curious: The shutouts by Roy were his first two of the season.
Report: Rangers fire Trottier
New York, NY (Sports Network) - The New York Rangers have fired head coach Bryan Trottier, according to a published report on Wednesday.
TSN-Canada reported that Trottier, who has guided the Rangers to a disappointing 21-26-6-1 first-half record, will not make it through his rookie coaching season. New York has lost three straight games, including a pair of convincing losses to the Atlanta Thrashers.
Trottier was named the 30th head coach in Rangers' franchise history on June 6, 2002. The 46-year-old had been an assistant coach with the Colorado Avalanche during the previous four seasons.
He scored 524 goals and had 901 assists during his 18-year career as a player in the NHL. He spent 15 years with the cross-town rival New York Islanders and three with the Pittsburgh Penguins before being inducted to the Hall of Fame in 1997.
Possible replacements for Trottier include Rangers assistant coach Jim Schoenfeld or Director of Player Personnel Tom Renney, according to the report.
TSN-Canada also reported that the Rangers asked for permission to talk to John Paddock, head coach of the Senators farm team in Binghamton, but the request was denied by Ottawa.
The Rangers, who are last in the Atlantic Division and 11th overall in the Eastern Conference, host the Avalanche on Thursday night.
Lecavalier, Satan added as All-Stars
New York, NY (Sports Network) - Tampa Bay Lightning center Vincent Lecavalier and Buffalo Sabres right wing Miroslav Satan have been added to the Eastern Conference All-Star team for this Sunday's game.
Lecavalier and Satan replace centers Mario Lemieux of the Pittsburgh Penguins and Mats Sundin of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Lemieux has been sidelined the past three weeks with a groin injury, while Sundin missed six games earlier this month with a shoulder injury.
Lecavalier, the first overall selection in the 1998 Entry Draft, will be making his All-Star Game debut. The 22-year-old has 47 points (21 goals, 26 assists) in 49 games this season.
Satan, who will be making his second career All-Star appearance, is on his way to leading the Sabres in scoring for the fourth time in six seasons. Satan has 45 points (18 goals, 27 assists) in 46 games and is on pace to reach the 60- point plateau for the fifth consecutive season.
Brodeur blanks Detroit for 61st career shutout
East Rutherford, NJ (Sports Network) - Martin Brodeur made 16 saves for his 61st career shutout, as the New Jersey Devils blanked the defending champion Red Wings, 1-0, at Continental Airlines Arena.
Scott Niedermayer scored the game's only goal for New Jersey, which has not lost in regulation in its last 11 games (9-0-1-1). Brodeur made five saves in the first period, eight in the second and turned aside three in the third for his sixth shutout of the season.
Manny Legace stopped 28 of the 29 shots he faced, but the Red Wings suffered their second straight loss and fourth in five tries. Detroit is winless in its last seven in the Garden State (0-6-1).
Early in the third period, Brian Rafalski was stationed at the point and slid the puck to Niedermayer, whose slap shot in traffic sailed into the right side of the net for a power-play score at 3:36.
New Jersey played physical the rest of the way and held on for its sixth straight win at home.
Legace made a diving save during a scramble in front to keep the game scoreless with seven minutes left in the second period. Legace just barely got his glove on the sliding disc before it crossed the goal line.
Scott Gomez was later robbed by Legace, who gloved a down the center's slap shot from inside the left circle.
Brodeur got the crowd on its feet with some nice stops in the waning minutes of the second period. Darren McCarty was stuffed on a backhand try and Brett Hull had a chance for his 700th goal, but Brodeur bodied down his one-timer.
Sergei Fedorov hit the post during Detroit's late surge.
Helmet stickers a no-brainer
January 29, 2003
A minor media storm erupted over the last few weeks as at least two Canadian media personalities campaigned to have STOP stickers applied on the helmets of minor hockey players.
Hockey Night in Canada talent Don Cherry and Toronto-based radio host Bob McCown argued to expand the STOP initiative, a program which to this point has involved sewing a three-inch embroidered stop-sign patch on the back of jerseys to remind players of the dangers of checking from behind. They reasoned that putting a STOP — which in this context stands for Safety Towards Other Players — sticker on the back of helmets was a no-brainer in terms of making the reminder more visible. When one player chases another into the corner, Cherry says, that's where he'll be looking if he's about to check the player into the boards.
The men have succeeded, at least partially, as helmet manufacturer Bauer Nike Hockey Inc. has agreed to provide the stickers free of charge to any minor hockey player in Canada. In the three business days since Bauer Nike's announcement, which Cherry publicized during his Jan. 25 Coaches Corner segment on HNIC, the company has been swamped with requests for 35,000 stickers from teams in Canada and the US.
Other lid makers, namely The Hockey Company (which makes the CCM and Jofa brands) and Itech, are also on board and are willing to provide the stickers for their products.
For a few days leading up to Bauer Nike's announcement, there seemed to be some finger-pointing going on in the direction of the helmet manufacturers. Critics suggested the companies didn't care enough to initiate this program themselves and that they, in fact, opposed it.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
In the hockey business, the helmet category has seen a remarkable level of innovation over the last few years — probably behind only that of skates and sticks. In response to growing concern about concussions in the sport, all the manufacturers have developed new models that feature new designs, shell materials and padding systems intended to help reduce the frequency and severity of head injuries.
One of the newest improvements is the use of a foam called EPP (expanded polypropylene), a Styrofoam-like material which is lightweight and absorbs multiple impacts. Hockey helmets are far better today than they were even four or five years ago.
Despite these innovations and the best intentions of Cherry and McGown, the STOP campaign will accomplish only so much until the minor hockey system deals effectively with other innate problems — namely a continued crackdown on hits to the head, and to weed out the neanderthals in the coaching ranks. The real issue transcends manufacturing technology and certification standards.
I coach a minor peewee (11-year-olds) AA team in the Greater Toronto Hockey League, and I can speak with 100% confidence and certainty that there still exists a certain type of hockey coach who is hell-bent on winning, who confuses dirty and dangerous hockey as tough and physical. And this is at the AA level; the AAA level is another level of insanity altogether.
In one tournament game recently, our opponent — easily the most dirty team I have seen in three years coaching in AA — took 11 penalties, including two hits to the head (there could easily have been more), one misconduct and a couple of roughing calls. Almost all infractions were of the aggressive kind. My team took one penalty, and that was a bench minor, taken by yours truly, for telling the ref to get the game under control before someone got hurt.
The gentleman in me prevents me from naming the organization, the team and the coach, but these kids had clearly been not only instructed but also coached to hit high, hit the head and hit to hurt. Apparently, the coach had decided that this approach gave them the best chance for a victory. And sure enough, they won. Congrats to them.
I told my team, as I always do, to focus on hockey. Don't cower away, don't be intimidated, give the hit when it's there, but do it cleanly, fairly and properly. And most importantly, keep your head up.
Even with the Canadian Hockey Association's mandated crackdown on checking to the head, beginning with the 2002-03 season, too many infractions go uncalled. Like its big brother the NHL struggling to maintain the crackdown on obstruction, minor hockey has a lot of work to do on the issue of player protection.
Interestingly, for all its good, the STOP program is not yet famously popular. Too many associations, leagues and teams have not adopted it. Nor does any scientific information exist to prove whether the initiative really works, though amateur hockey groups in Ontario are working on an impact study that is due for completion by the end of this season.
Who knows then, whether STOP signs on helmets will be any more effective than the shoulder patch? Personally, I have my doubts. After all, with all due respect Cherry, when a player chases another into the corner, they both are often focused on the puck, not on the back of the leading player's head. However, using a STOP sign in one location — or both — makes too much common sense to argue against. It really is a no-brainer.
On the other hand, the communication and education has to extend deep into the well-established minor hockey inner circles, where old-school mentality still meets old-time hockey.
All the STOP signs in the world aren't going to change that.
Perhaps the next step for Cherry and McGown — and I would certainly lend a hand — is to develop a big fat yellow CAUTION sticker to slap on the foreheads of those coaches who still haven't learned to coach properly.
I can think of a few perfect candidates.
Is that going to incite cries of MDC alteration through another administration change?
What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.
Are you normal?
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- Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
- 21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
- Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
- 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
- 3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.
- 91% lie regularly, so you can just throw away statistics like these based on their answers *grin*
- 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.
- 29% admit they've intentionally stolen something from a store.
- 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
- 90% believe in divine retribution (but apparently not for lying)
- 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
- 82% believe in an afterlife.
- 45% believe in ghosts.
- 13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.
- 29% are virgins when they marry.
- 58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't.
- 10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.
- Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child over 2 years old.
- 35% give to charity at least once a month.
- How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends, family, and church. 7% would murder.
- 69% eat the cake before the frosting.
- When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
- Snickers is the most popular candy.
- 22% of us skip lunch daily.
- 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
- 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.
- Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
- 45% use mouthwash every day.
- 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
- The typical shower is 101 degrees F.
- Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.
- 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.
- 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
- 58% of women paint their nails regularly.
- 33% of women lie about their weight.
- 10% claim to have seen a ghost.
- 57% have had deja vu.
- 49% believe in ESP.
- 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids.
- 44% have broken a bone.
- 14% have attended a self-help meeting.
- 15% regularly go to a shrink.
- 78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.
- 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they've used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up. What's up?
- 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
- 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
- 28.1% pee in the pool. Think about that next time you go swimming!
- 39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet. 17% have been caught by the host... whoops, "uh.. just looking for the uh..."
- 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip it (his pants).
- 71.6% of us eavesdrop.
- 22% are functionally illiterate. [Reminds me of the lady who said, "My son ain't illiterate. We was married two weeks before he was born!"]
- Less than 10% are trilingual.
- 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
- 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.
- 56% of women do the bills in a marriage.
- 2 out of 3 of us wouldn't give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks. Now, make it TWO million and half the night... : )
- 20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life.
- 40% of us have had music lessons.
- 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch.
- 53% read their horoscopes regularly.
- 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary, mostly men, (and they say statistics don't lie. See 91% Americans lie regularly for details. Yeah, we know the rest of you men just
have wives who TELL you the anniversary is coming up!)
- 59% of us say we're average-looking.
- Blacks are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful.
- 90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.
- 53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers.
- 28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.
- 51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.
- On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.
- 20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.
- 2 out of 5 have married their first love.
- The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money.
- Only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand.
- 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
- 6% propose over the phone, [but that includes only of those who were accepted over the phone, not those who were hung up on]
- 71% can drive a stick-shift car.
- 45% of us consistantly follow the speed limit. [Must be the over 55 crowd : ) ]
- 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.
- 1/3 of us don't wear seat belts.
- 12% of men never use their car blinkers.
- 44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.
- 25% drive after they've been drinking.
- 4 out of 5 sing in the car.
- 1 in 3 have had an extramarital affair.
- 62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs
Slogans that Never Caught On
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Slogans That Never Quite Caught On
Charmin: "Butt... Wipe... Err."
Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?"
Eggs: "The Incredible Edible Ovum."
MTV: "Loud and easy to spell."
Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid."
Iguana: "The other green meat."
Penis Enlargement Specialists: "It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing!"
Nike: "Just buy the damn shoes, you flabby spineless lump!"
Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years."
Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes, dammit!"
Pepto Bismol: "Squash the Squirts!"
Trojans: "Just add meat."
Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!"
Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!"
Professional Bowling on NBC: "Oh, why don't you just go ahead and kill yourself instead?"
Small Towns
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The US is full of small towns. For those never having traveled to or lived in one, the following will illustrate pretty much what life's like there.
My hometown was so small...
* the clinic was called Joe's Hospital and Grill
* long distance calls are delayed when the area code is busy
* the town Lady of the Evening stands under a flashlight
* in order to paint traffic lines, the road had to be widened
* instead of hoses, the Fire Department uses water pistols
* you had to make a reservation to use the parking meter
* during snowstorms, salt was spread using a salad shooter
* the local Motel 6 sleeps six
* during a boxing match, both men have to sit in the same corner
* the class valedictorian had both the highest & lowest averages
* the Mayor was also the Sheriff, Town Council & street sweeper
* we had no porn movie house; once a week someone left the shades up
* the municipal water system's pump was supplied by Water Pik
* before you visited, you could look out a window & see who was home
* there was no town idiot -- everybody had to take turns
GUYS: FIGURED OUT BY NAME (i didn't edit it at all!)
Aarons are dependable and talented.
Allens are preppy.
Alexes like porno, usally hot in a skater kinda way
Everyone has an Andy.
Bens are the smart, silent type.
Bills are the ones everyone chases and no one gets to keep.
Bob is the universal name.
Brads try too hard.
Brandons are dark haired, players.
Bretts are shy and clumsy.
Brians usually have only one good feature (but i havent quite found it yet)
Calebs never grow up.
Carters are rich, power-hungry snobs.
Chads are hot, quiet but interesting once you get inside.
Charlies are walking sex.
Chris' are undefined and should remain so.
Craigs are a little misguided.
Dans are thick.
Daves are impossible to get over.
Dennis' are quiet, desperate flirts.
Devons are destined for trouble.
Doug is the nice guy that repulses you.
Eds are thbp
Eddies are fast.
Erics are forgettable.
Ethans smell .
Franks and Tonys are Italian Stallions.
Fred is in the chess club.
Fredericks could be snotty.
Garys are gross Nazi's.
Georges are mild-mannered and have weight problems.
Glens are either short or intelligent.
Gregs are bizarre.
Initial name guys are cool.
Jakes are insecure and slightly repulsive .
James' are egotistical and stupid.
Jamies are shy but cuddly.
Jareds think they are the best thing since sliced bread.
Jasons are fun loving and handsome.
Jeffs are lost puppies, though they are adorable.
Jeremys are a tad fruity.
Jimmy's are sweet and sexy!
Joes are awkward, shy-guys in first date situations.
Joels are frustrated. tend to hang out with Nelsons
It's hard to stand out if your name is John.
Joshes are romantic back-stabbers.
Justins mess with your mind.
Kevins have swanky hair.
Keith is built, but dry and annoying. It's like dating a broom.
Kens just don't measure-up.
Korys are egotistical, pleasure-driven jerks.
Kyles are horny bastards!
There is always something wrong with a Kurt.
Leonards are avid bug collectors.
Lesters are molesters.
Lonnies are nasty.
Marcus' are players
Marks are 'touchy.'
Martins have a strange sense of humor.
Matts are queer- one T or two.
Mikes are rascally, troublesome guys but are usually nice.
Nates are cocky for a reason.
Nelsons are home-schooled.
Nicks are jerks, immature and only want your body.
Owens have large families and drive fast.
Patricks are also incredibly sexy.
Pauls suffer from male-pattern baldness.
Peters are stalkers.
Phils are sensitive but geeky.
Philips are more geeky but equally sensitive.
Rays are players but majorly hot!
Randys have facial hair problems and pyro tendencies.
Richard--Dick, need I say more?
Rickies are very senstive,cute, and charming!
Robs are sleazy and make you feel cheap.
Robins are tormented.
Rod (the name itself) is perverted.
Rons are into pasta.
Roys are so childish.
Ryans are never appreciated.
Sams just like sex.
Scotts are hormonal and usually bad news.
Shawns are sweet in one-on-one situations.
Shanes are shady.
Simons are thin.
Steves are extremes(usually incredibly good looking incredibly bad)
Theos (or Theodores) always make you smile.
Timothys like to be mommied.
Todds are sweet, sporty guys.
Toms are nerdy but poetic. They have that inner something.
Tommys are way to possesive & need to get a life!
Travis' are dumb jocks.
Tylers are genetically small .
Vances are good conversationalists.
Wesleys are romantic.
Williams are fat.
Zacks are good looking, but aloof