Weird, Funny News & Jokes

[My2Cents]

Angry ex-girlfriend goes ballistic, rips off man’s scrotum

http://news.yahoo.com/angry-ex-girlfriend-goes-ballistic-rips-off-man-192805232.html

Talk about a ball buster.

An Indiana man was rushed to the hospital Wednesday after his scrotum was the victim of a vicious attack by an ex-girlfriend, The Smoking Gun reports.

The victim told police that his former girlfriend, Christina Reber, stormed into his apartment as he was innocently sitting at his computer. Reber, who he had severed ties with a few days earlier, first struck him on the head and then grabbed his scrotum and began “squeezing as hard as she could.” Naturally, he told officers that he “was in incredible pain when [she] grabbed his scrotum and began digging in her fingers.”

The police report indicates that the scrotum area was “completely torn loose from his body.” Reber reportedly “refused to let go of his scrotum,” but that the victim was finally able to remove his balls from her vice-like grip.

As if the story isn’t already good enough, the victim, who has not been identified, was taken to BALL MEMORIAL HOSPITAL. As far as we know, the hospital is not only for scrotum-specific injuries.

In an interview two days after the incident, the man told police that after his ex was done breaking his balls, his family jewels are so swollen that he is unable to work, and he isn’t sure if there will be permanent damage.

Reber was charged with two felonies: aggravated battery and illegally entering the victim’s home. She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery.

[My2Cents]

Men arrested after deputy finds calf in backseat

http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/10934700/

CARLSBAD, N.M. — New Mexico authorities have arrested three men found with a 220-pound calf in the backseat of their car.

The Carlsbad Current Argus reports that the men are accused of cattle rustling. They were jailed on charges of suspicion of larceny of livestock, conspiracy, lack of a bill of sale and exporting livestock.

Luna County sheriff's office says a deputy pulled over their Honda Civic on Friday and saw the animal sharing the backseat with one of the alleged thieves.

The three are being held at the Luna County Detention Center.

[lacymarie]

LOL! very funny!

[My2Cents]

Scientific Study; Does a bear shit in the woods?

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

From the same scientist that gave us the study "Is a frog's ass water tight?" We have a new study of a common American cliché, Does a bear shit in the woods?

"My dad was always making these comments that made me wonder if there was any truth to their origins. I am pretty sure that most of them were his way of asking me, what do you think, dumb ass? But I can't help wondering where they came from."

After receiving a government grant from the Dept. of Poo Studies, our scientist began his extensive interviews with local bears.

"I knew if I wanted the truth I needed to go to the source of the cliché, the bears. Several celebrity bears were willing to confront the subject from the rear, so to speak. Here are their comments."

From Smokey the Bear: "Shit is natural and perfectly biodegradable but, let's face it, no one wants to step in it. I carry a poop scoop with me when I go into the woods so I can flick it into the brush."

Fozzie Bear: "They built me without a rectum so I can't shit anywhere.I'm in a state of perpetual constipation."

Winnie-the-Pooh, "They call me pooh for a reason. I don't have to shit in the woods 'cause there's always room in my honey pot!"

Little Bear: "I can shit where ever I want as long as I'm wearing my nappies!"

Rupert Bear: "Don't be impertinent! I am quite capable of finding and using the facilities. What a crude little man you are!"

Sugar Bear: "No shit, Sherlock, just sugar."

Panda Bear: "Things are pretty black and white for me. If you are in the woods, and you need to take a shit just do it."

So what did I learn from all my studies?
One: some bears do and some bears don't and two: maybe my dad was right,I'm a dumb ass.

[My2Cents]

LOL....

[daleb2130]

Ok boys !!!!!!!!!! This will bring tears to your eyes

[My2Cents]

Petco sued for cutting dog's ear off, gluing it back on

Click link to view the video.....

A woman is suing the Kaneohe, Hawaii Petco for allegedly cutting her dog's ear off during a routine grooming and trying to cover it up by gluing it back on. Minna Sugimoto reports.

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7398834n

[My2Cents]

Father Shoots His Daughter’s Laptop For Posting a Mean Comment About Him on Facebook

(Warning: This video contains strong language and content.)

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/father-shoots-daughter-laptop-posting-mean-him-facebook-171258872.html

A North Carolina man was none too pleased with one of his daughter Hannah's Facebook posts. So instead of just telling her, he decided to tell the world exactly how he felt in a YouTube video. After already grounding Hannah for three months for what he refers to as a similar incident in the past, Tommy Jordan decided to take his disciplinary action to a whole new, more public level. Jordan uploaded a video of himself sitting in a lawn chair reading aloud his 15-year-old daughter's post and then shooting nine hollow-point rounds into her computer with his .45-caliber gun. Jordan, who is an IT consultant, says he discovered his daughter's post as he was upgrading her laptop with new software. In what Hannah apparently thought was a private post titled, "To My Parents," using profanity-laced language, she complains of all of the chores she has to do and says she ought to get paid for it. She further complains about having to balance her school work and all her chores. In the eight-minute video titled "Facebook Parenting: For the Troubled Teen," Jordan explains how hard his life was growing up, and he seems particularly frustrated by his daughter's disrespect and tells her that he is disappointed. At the end of the video, Jordan tells his daughter that she can have a new laptop when she buys a new laptop after she repays him for the new software he had just downloaded. He later posted the video to his own Facebook profile as well as his daughter's, and it is blowing up on the Internet. The video has received more than 650 comments, 1,300 "likes," and 800,000 views on YouTube. Most people are applauding Jordan's approach to extreme parenting. One person wrote, "Can I shake your hand and buy you a beer?" and another person on Facebook commented, "loved your parenting technique."

[My2Cents]

Sheep herding Swedish bunny becomes online hit

By LOUISE NORDSTROM
Associated Press

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/E/EU_ODD_SWEDEN_SHEEP_HERDING_BUNNY?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

STOCKHOLM (AP) -- Champis the bunny doesn't only hop - he also knows how to herd his masters' flock of sheep, possibly having picked up the skill after watching trained dogs do the job.

The 5-year-old pet rabbit from the small village of Kal in northern Sweden shot to online fame last week, having garnered more than 700,000 YouTube hits so far, after a clip of his sheep herding skills surfaced on a blog.

The June video shows a persistent Champis running back and forth on the farm, trying to keep Nils-Erik and Greta Vigren's sheep together.

Greta Vigren said she first noted his talent last spring when they let out the sheep to graze for the first time after the long Swedish winter.

"He just started to behave like a sheepdog," she recalled, adding that while he likes to round up the sheep, he is consistent about leaving the farm's hens alone, treating them more gently.

"He's like a king for the whole group. He thinks he rules over both the sheep and the hens. He has a very big ego."

Dan Westman, a sheepdog breeder who shot and posted the video of his friends' bunny, said he was in awe when he first witnessed the phenomenon, noting Champis does the job even better than most dogs would.

"It's really incredible, it's a herding rabbit," he said. "He rounds them up, and if they get close to escaping through the gate he sometimes stops them," he said.

"I mean I work with sheepdogs and know how hard this is. There are very few dogs that could do what this rabbit does."

Westman, who's known both Champis and its owners for years, said the beige little mix-breed bunny had never been trained for the job but seemed to have learned the ropes all on his own.

"He's probably picked some of it up from watching the dogs," he said.

Despite his tiny size, Westman said the sheep seem to pay their minder a world of respect, letting him herd them around when he feels they need some moving.

---

[My2Cents]

Dentist accused of paper clip use in root canals

http://news.yahoo.com/dentist-accused-paper-clip-root-canals-121231462.html


NEW BEDFORD, Massachusetts (AP) — A former dentist in the U.S. has pleaded guilty to fraud for using paper clips instead of stainless steel posts in root canals.

Michael Clair will be sentenced next Monday after pleading guilty last week in a Massachusetts court to a variety of charges, including defrauding a government health program of $130,000, assault and battery, illegally prescribing prescription drugs and witness intimidation.

Authorities say instead of stainless steel posts for root canals, he used sections of paper clips — which can cause pain and even infection — in an effort to save money.

Attorney General Martha Coakley says paper clips can sometimes be used temporarily, but the 53-year-old Clair used the paper clips as a permanent fix.

[My2Cents]

Urinating cat, not fire, caused smoke in Pa. home

http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/10624138/

NEW CASTLE, Pa. — One western Pennsylvania fire department learned that there's not necessarily fire wherever there's smoke.

New Castle's assistant fire chief Jim Donston tells The Associated Press that firefighters were called when an electrical outlet on a floor was smoking, only to find that happened because the family's cat urinated into the outlet.

The New Castle News (http://bit.ly/zHd1RS ) first reported the incident Friday and Donston supplied more details to the AP.

The assistant chief says a Columbia Gas worker was at the house checking for a possible leak when he noticed the smoking outlet and called the fire department Wednesday about 7:30 p.m.

Donston says firefighters "found the receptacle wet from cat urine" and shut off the electrical supply to that circuit.

[My2Cents]

Ill. man didn't know he'd shot nail into his brain

http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/10624481/

ORLAND PARK, Ill. — A suburban Chicago man thought the errant nail that discharged from the gun he was working with had whizzed by his head. Instead, it was lodged in his brain.

Family members say Dante Autullo spent more than a day with the 3½-inch nail in his head before having it removed Thursday.

The 32-year-old was tinkering in the garage of his Orland Park home Tuesday when then the nail gun went off. He saw a small wound but couldn't find the nail and didn't think much of it.

He went to work the next day but later went to the hospital with nausea and one monster of a headache.

That's when an X-ray uncovered the nail.

Autullo is recovering after a four-hour surgery to have the nail removed.

[My2Cents]

Police: Pa. man fakes mom's obit to get time off

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_ODD_PREMATURE_OBITUARY?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

BROOKVILLE, Pa. (AP) -- Authorities in northwestern Pennsylvania say a man published an obituary for his living mother in a ploy to get paid bereavement time off from work.

Relatives called The Jeffersonian Democrat newspaper in Brookville after the obit appeared to report the woman was actually alive and well. The woman herself then visited the paper.

Brookville police charged 45-year-old Scott Bennett on Tuesday with disorderly conduct.

Democrat editor Randy Bartley says he accepted the obituary in good faith after being unable to confirm the funeral arrangements at press time. He told The Derrick newspaper (http://bit.ly/vDDqLi ) on Friday that the woman was very understanding.

Police Chief Ken Dworek says Bennett wrote up the memorial notice because he didn't want to get fired for taking time off.

The Associated Press couldn't reach Bennett.

[SkeBallLarry]

[Biowatch]

Drunk RIM employees disrupt Beijing-bound flight

Two drunken Research In Motion employees forced an Air Canada flight from Toronto to Beijing to make an unscheduled stop in Vancouver, disrupting travel plans of more than 300 people....

They were each given suspended sentences and one year’s probation, and ordered to pay restitution to Air Canada of $35,878 each, and barred from having any contact with Air Canada crews or flying that carrier during the probation period.

RIM issued a statement saying: “Based on the limited information available at this time, RIM has suspended the individuals involved pending further investigation.”...

http://www.thestar.com/business/article/1095673--drunk-rim-employees-disrupt-beijing-bound-flight

The airline decided the plane should return to Canada because of concerns that Chinese law enforcement officials would impound the aircraft, a situation that would have cost Air Canada a substantial amount of lost revenue.

Other passengers became involved in the situation, which occurred in the executive class section, as Air Canada flight crew members tried to restrain the men. They were eventually separated and placed in plastic handcuffs. Both men are members of the airline’s elite frequent-flier programs, a person briefed on the case said.

What provoked the episode, other than alcohol, is unclear. The men were escorted off the plane by members of the mounted police and immediately arrested.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/02/business/research-in-motion-employees-fined-for-disruption-on-plane.html

[My2Cents]

Dog steps on gun, shoots Utah hunter in buttocks

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_ODD_DOG_SHOOTS_MAN?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) -- A Utah bird hunter was shot in the buttocks after his dog stepped on a shotgun laid across the bow of a boat.

Box Elder County Sheriff's Deputy Kevin Potter says the 46-year-old Brigham City man was duck hunting with a friend when he climbed out of the boat to move decoys.

Potter says the man left his 12-gauge shotgun in the boat and the dog stepped on it, causing it to fire. It wasn't clear whether the safety on the gun was on at the time.

Potter says the man was hit from about 10 feet away with 27 pellets of birdshot. He says the man wasn't seriously injured, in part because he was wearing waders. The man was treated at a nearby hospital.

[trading.jeff]

PARENTS OF 'ADOLF HITLER' LOSE CUSTODY OF NEWBORN
http://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/-/world/11886713/parents-of-adolf-hitler-lose-custody-of-newborn/

[stockenbarrel]

A Strange Soccer Story!

http://www.royals.org/stories/savescore.html

[stockenbarrel]

Player Murders Ref!

http://www.royals.org/stories/murder.html

[stockenbarrel]

Naked Man Thrown In Crowd!

http://www.royals.org/stories/naked.html

[stockenbarrel]

Lost In The Mist!

http://www.royals.org/stories/mist.html

[stockenbarrel]

Goal After Ball Bounces Back On!

http://www.royals.org/stories/bounceon.html

[stockenbarrel]

Attempt To Sneak In Rifle!

http://www.royals.org/stories/rifle.html

[stockenbarrel]

Tactical Error?

http://www.royals.org/stories/tacerror.html

[stockenbarrel]

Physio sent off!

http://www.royals.org/stories/pso.html

[stockenbarrel]

Linesman hit by motorcycle helmet!

http://www.royals.org/stories/helmet.html

[stockenbarrel]

Player gets arrested after game for on-pitch theft!

http://www.royals.org/stories/theft.html

[Biowatch]

Airplanes do not need landing gear to land.

Iran Air B727 at Tehran on Oct 18th 2011, landed without nose gear

and, if that isn't sufficiently impressive:

LOT Boeing 767 from Newark to Warsaw Emergency Landing with no landing gear 11.1.11

[stockenbarrel]

President Bush holding hands with Saudi:




Get chummy and check out Alternative Energy (AEGY):

http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/board.aspx?board_id=17584

[stockenbarrel]

Jesse Jackson "Hide Your Nuts!"




Hide YOUR nuts at Mamas Homemade Penny Plays With A Side of Biscuits:

http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/board.aspx?board_id=22287

[My2Cents]

Police: Man impersonating cop pulls over real cop

http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/10235537/

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Police say a New Mexico man pretending to be police officer pulled over a real Albuquerque Police Department detective and is facing charges.

KOB-TV reports that Tyree Appleberry was given the citation Wednesday on charges of impersonating a police officer then arrested for an outstanding warrant.

According to police, the 42-year-old turned on his strobe lights on his white Chevy Tahoe in an attempt to stop a driver, who turned out to be an undercover officer.

But Appleberry said he was not impersonating an officer and was instead asking the driver why he was in the parking lot next to an auto auction yard where his friend works.

Authorities say Appleberry had a warrant out for his arrest for failing to appear in court for a reckless driving charge.

[My2Cents]

Mail Harassment Victim has 150 Pounds of Unsolicited Mail


Written by
Mike Lyons


JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- A Jacksonville woman said she is a victim of mail harassment and has 150 pounds of unsolicited mail to show for it.

Dana Kraus has received mail just about every day since January, including about 70 magazine subscriptions, various catalogues and tourist information pamphlets, none of which she requested.

"It's a nightmare," said Kraus, who claims a neighbor is responsible. "It's very sad that someone would go to this length to harass somebody."

Kraus spent hours on the phone canceling subscriptions, and getting copies of subscription insert cards sent to the magazines in her name, she said. She was billed around $1,000 for magazines ordered in her name, her father's name and her son's name.

"The handwriting is the same on all of them. Also, my email address is wrong, the server is wrong, and on the address, the "g" is the same on every single one," said Kraus.

She got an injunction against her neighbor Randall Green after a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office investigation uncovered a recording of a call he made to a hair restoration company, ordering materials in her name.

"He's not going to stop until it hurts him in his pocket or he's put in jail." She said she is still getting unsolicited mail, but can't prove her neighbor is responsible so he can't be cited for violating an injunction.

Green said by phone that he was not responsible for any of the mail. He admitted making the hair restoration call as a joke, but said he has done nothing to violate the injunction since it was issued.

Green claims he has gotten unsolicited mail at his home that Kraus is responsible for.

According to a Postal Service spokesman, Kraus should call the Postal Inspection Service if she feels threatened by the mail and an investigation will be conducted.

Kraus said JSO told her they could not arrest anyone for having the mail sent to her home since she was not hurt financially.


http://www.firstcoastnews.com/rss/article/218117/82/Jacksonville-Woman-has-Gotten-150-lbs-of-Harassing-Mail

[My2Cents]

Dutch woman calls ex-boyfriend 65,000 times

AMSTERDAM — Dutch prosecutors are charging a 42-year-old woman with stalking after she allegedly called her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in the past year.

The 62-year-old victim from The Hague filed a police complaint in August due to the persistent phone calls. Police arrested the suspected stalker Monday, seizing several cell phones and computers from her home in Rotterdam.

Hague prosecution spokeswoman Nicolette Stoel said Thursday the woman argued to judges at a preliminary hearing she had a relationship with the man and the number of calls she placed to him wasn't excessive. The man denied they had a relationship.

The court ordered her not to contact him again.

http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/10101130/

[My2Cents]

Cops: Pa. woman let niece, 6, drive from snug spot

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_ODD_CHILD_DRIVER?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

BEAVER, Pa. (AP) -- Police say a Pennsylvania woman endangered her 6-year-old niece by having the girl back the woman's car out of a tight parking spot, wrecking two other cars in the process.

Fifty-five-year-old Rebecca Beatty, of Aliquippa (al-uh-KWIH'-puh), and her attorney have not returned calls on the charges she waived to Beaver County Court on Tuesday.

Police charged Beatty in June after she picked up her niece from a dance program at Ambridge Area High School.

The Beaver County Times reports Wednesday that Beatty found another car parked so close that she couldn't get in her vehicle. Police say that's when she had her niece back the car out.

Police say the child hit a parked car, pushing it over a curb until it hit another car parked on the street.

---

Information from: Beaver County Times, http://www.timesonline.com/

[My2Cents]

Man shoots self in genitals while holstering gun in pants

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/7689846.html

CHANDLER, Ariz. — A suburban Phoenix man is recovering after police say he accidentally shot himself in the penis while putting his girlfriend's gun in the waistband of his pants.

Chandler police say 27-year-old Joshua Seto and his fiancée, Cara Christopher, were walking toward a grocery store when the shooting happened last week. The gun fired, striking Seto's penis and continuing through his left thigh.

The Arizona Republic reports a 911 operator told Christopher to apply direct pressure to the wound with a dry towel or T-shirt.

Chandler Police Detective Seth Tyler was unsure of the type of gun, or whether it had a safety that was off. He also says it's unclear if Seto has been released from the hospital or suffered any permanent damage

In the wake of the shooting, Tyler warned residents to use holsters, not waistbands, if they're going to carry a handgun.

[Biowatch]

Some days you should stay in bed...

[My2Cents]

I got all 6 wrong...lol

Don't worry.
You don't have Alzheimer's. - My wife would disagree !
You are just a pervert. - Yes....!

[Pro-Life]

Alzheimer's Test for Modern Seniors

How fast can you guess these words:

1. F_ _K
2. PU_S_
3. S_X
4. P_N_S
5. BOO_S
6. _ _NDOM

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Answers:

1. FORK
2. PULSE
3. SIX
4. PANTS
5. BOOKS
6. RANDOM


You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?... Don't worry. You don't have Alzheimer's. You are just a pervert.

[My2Cents]

Hacked Hardware Has Been Sold in the U.S.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=hacked-hardware-has-been-sold-in-th-2011-07-11

Hacked Hardware Has Been Sold in the U.S.

By Michael Moyer | Jul 11, 2011 03:05 PM

Last week, an official at the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) told a congressional panel that hardware sold in the U.S. has been compromised by foreign agents. According to a report at Fast Company:

When asked by Rep. [Jason] Chaffetz [R-UT] whether [acting deputy undersecretary of the DHS National Protection and Programs Directorate Greg] Schaffer was aware of any foreign-manufactured software or hardware components that had been purposely embedded with security risks, the DHS representative stated that “I am aware of instances where that has happened,” after some hesitation.

In other words, hardware manufactured abroad has been embedded with malicious code, a problem described last year in Scientific American by John Villasenor, a professor of electrical engineering at the University of California, Los Angeles. The design of modern integrated circuits has become so complex, says Villasenor, that malicious agents could insert unwanted instructions into the circuits at some point in the process. “Given the sheer number of people and complexity involved in a large integrated-circuit design, there is always a risk that an unauthorized outsider might gain access and corrupt the design without detection,” Villasenor writes.

What’s at stake here? Villasenor uses the example of a cell-phone circuit that’s programmed to shut down millions of phones at a certain predetermined time. But this is an innocuous example. Villasenor writes:

The difficulty of fixing a systemic, malicious hardware problem keeps cybersecurity experts up at night. Anything that uses a microprocessor—which is to say, just about everything electronic—is vulnerable. Integrated circuits lie at the heart of our communications systems and the world’s electricity supply. They position the flaps on modern airliners and modulate the power in your car’s antilock braking system. They are used to access bank vaults and ATMs and to run the stock market. They form the core of almost every critical system in use by our armed forces. A well-designed attack could conceivably bring commerce to a halt or immobilize critical parts of our military or government.

What can be done? Villasenor advocates for circuits that are designed to police themselves, searching for abnormal activity in their sub-units and taking protective action if any is found. This would sacrifice a bit of performance, but protect the circuit as a whole.

[928er]

(NaturalNews) What would all the world's experts and authorities say today if the Titanic were sinking but nobody was willing to admit it? The U.S. economy, after all, is sinking and taking on an unprecedented volume of water (i.e. debt), yet virtually no one is willing to admit the obvious fact that this ship is sinking. And much like with the Titanic, most "experts" continue to claim the U.S. economy is unsinkable, despite the obvious evidence that we might want to start heading for the life rafts.

So in the spirit of comedy -- which is, after all, what we are witnessing in Washington these days -- imagine The Titanic hitting an iceberg in 2011, followed by a string of experts all trying to spin the story their own way. Here's what they might say:

The White House Press Secretary: The iceberg was placed in the Atlantic ocean by Osama Bin Laden.

The chemist: That's not an iceberg. It's merely solid-state di-hydrogen oxide.

Al Gore: That iceberg wouldn't have even been there if the polar caps weren't melting.

The Congressman: Quick, let's pass a new law that says ships shall not sink.

President Obama: The Titanic isn't sinking. It's merely engaged in "aquatic action."

Former President Bush: Icebergs are weapons of mass destruction planted in the ocean by terrorists. We must avenge the iceberg terrorists!

The Pentagon: We will equalize the hole in one side of the ship by blowing a matching hole in the other side.

The TSA inspector: You're not allowed onto a lifeboat until we check your anus for explosives.

The Cancer Doctor: We can't fix the hole in the ship, but through the miracle of chemotherapy, we can make you suffer so much that you won't care.

The Wall Street investment banker: Don't worry, the Fed will bail out all the water we're taking on. The Titanic is too big to fail.

The teenage girl: Can I still text on my iPhone under water?

Congressman Weiner: Yes you can, and by the way, here's a very special "going away" message for you to remember me by.

Average Joe: Is the ship's buffet still open?

The FDA: We believe the ship is sinking because of an e.coli infection that spread from the galley.

The CDC: Everybody should get vaccinated before the ship sinks, just in case there's a shark-flu virus in the water.

The New Ager: There is no hole in the ship unless you believe there is a hole in the ship.

The Academic: I have published a paper that proves this ship is unsinkable. Would anyone like to read it? Please?

The Catholic priest: I think we should save all the children first. Which lifeboat are they on again?

The Journalist: The Titanic has a hole in its side, but official sources tell us it's only "aquatic action" and there's no cause for alarm. And we believe them.

The Federal Reserve: We have decided to dump more water onto the ship in the hope of making it float.

The Federal Government: Hey, these deck chairs look pretty nice. Let's rearrange them!

The Doctor: We need to order a couple dozen CT scans of the ship's null and bill them to Medicare before we have any idea at all what to do.

The Denialist: Stop talking about negative things. Stay focused on the positive and you won't need a life vest.

The Realist: This ship is going down, folks. You might want to think about taking action to keep yourself alive.

The Gullible Masses: Don't worry, this ship is unsinkable.

Even if it did sink, there are plenty of lifeboats.

Even if there aren't enough lifeboats, we all have life jackets.

Even if we don't have enough life jackets, the government will come save us.

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/032753_Titanic_spin.html#ixzz1Q1h4sssV

[My2Cents]

lol.... add another to the list

[My2Cents]

Police say US man hid in portable toilet tank

http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/9761611/

BOULDER, Colorado — Police in Colorado say a woman who stepped inside a portable toilet at a yoga festival discovered a man hiding in the tank below when she lifted the toilet lid.

Boulder police spokeswoman Kim Kobel says the woman told authorities she noticed something moving inside the tank and asked a man to check it out. The man reported seeing someone covered in a tarp inside the tank.

A festival security supervisor said the suspect eventually emerged from the toilet — covered in human waste — and slipped away.

Police say the suspect is thought to be in his 20s and is being sought on charges of criminal attempt to make unlawful sexual contact.

[zigzagman]

is headed to Slippery Rock University in the fall to study political science.

that makes sense...another liar headed into politics...lol

[My2Cents]

Fake scholarship prank draws laughs, scolding

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_ODD_FAKE_SCHOLARSHIP_PRANK?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

BANGOR, Pa. (AP) -- It turns out a Pennsylvania high school graduate's scholarship was just a load of bull.

Bangor Area High School grad Ethan Rosenberry says he invented an award when the guidance office passed around forms to seniors to report any awards they had received. His made-up award was named for Jack Hitte (middle initial: S).

Rosenberry tells The Express-Times of Easton that he wanted acknowledgment that he'd won jack, er, squat.

Rosenberry says the school's administration wasn't too pleased when the award's name was read aloud by the principal. But he still got his diploma after a stern talking-to.

The district says it's looking into the prank but declined further comment.

Rosenberry is headed to Slippery Rock University in the fall to study political science.

---

Information from: The Express-Times, http://www.lehighvalleylive.com

[Biowatch]

Bicycling in New York City:

[Biowatch]

Transgenic sheep:

[TORPEDO]

GODLY POWERS (patent pending)

http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/read_msg.aspx?message_id=64045066

[Penny Roger$]

[SkeBallLarry]

To Embed YouTube Videos in posts or iBoxes >

copy everything in the URL after the "v=" to your clipboard then,

type [ yt ] (without spaces) in the post, followed by pasting in the video identification string, followed by [ /yt ] (again, without spaces).

[Penny Roger$]

Yes we can!

How does ZigZag embed the youtube vids here? PM me if ya know.

We shall overcome!


or the classic..

Strange stuff, :D