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I'm getting scammed by Urban for Christmas, mommmmmie and daddy are pissed
I'm getting scammed by Urban for Christmas, this has turnout to be a POS
One, two, three, four
I just want to spec-o-late another valluation
I just want to spec-o-late another B.S. price
I put my faith in the lawyer
But the lawyer let me down
So I turn the other way
And I pump it up, anyhow
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to spec-o-late, yeah, yeah
Another valuation, yeah
I just want to spec-o-late another B.S. price
Had great hope in the Carolyn
But the Carolyn lapsed away
But the mine in South America
Is here to stay
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to spec-o-late, yeah, yeah
Another valuation, yeah
I just want to spec-o-late another valluation
I just want to spec-o-late another b.s. price
Don't let 'em bash it down, no, no
Don't let 'em bash it down and down and down and down and down
Well, I can't be bothered with reason
And I can't be bothered with facts, no, no
I'm spending my last dime but feeling fine, every day
That's why I'm telling you I just want to spec-o-late
Oh, yeah
I just want to spec-o-late another day
Oh, I just want to spec-o-late another valluation
I just want to spec-o-late another b.s. price
Don't let 'em bash it down, no, no
Don't let 'em bashyou around and around, etc.
Round, round, round, etc.
Don't go round
I just want to spec-o-late
I just want to spec-o-late
Well, I just want to spec-o-late
Said I just want to spec-o-late (spec-o-late)
I just want to spec-o-late (I want to spec-o-late)
I just want to spec-o-late (I got to spec-o-late)
I just want to spec-o-late
You do have a talent!
'Twas a week before Christmas, at night in my house
I was heavily drinking, and working my mouse;
My stock picks were scrawled on a Vanity Fair,
With the hopes that this year's screw-ups could be repaired;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of nano-bling danced in their heads;
And ma in her free "Got CMKX?" shirt,
Just figured out why we were gifting our certs,
I needed a gapper to make my account fatter,
I'd jump from the roof, had I not hocked my ladder.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a diamondiferous sleigh with eight longs in the rear,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Stock Pick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Sterling! now, Topo! now, Willy and Melvin!
On, Hundred! on Jawz! on, Oldblue and then Zen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now pay forward! pay forward! pay forward all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of divvies, and St. Stock Pick too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I logged off the thread, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Stock Pick came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of certs he had flung on his back
And appeared all strung out on tequilla and crack
His eyes -- how glazed over! his vision all blurry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And his nostrils were powdered as white as the snow;
The tube of a hookah he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
But I bashed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and be sure to hold tight."
This song is called Urbio's Pump & Dump, and it's about Urbio, and the
pump & dump, but Urbio's Pump & Dump is not the name of the stock,
that's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song Urbio's Pump & Dump.
You can sell to another chump at Urbio's Pump & Dump
You can sell to another chump at Urbio's Pump & Dump
Buy 'em up cause they're going fast
The chance to buy them at this level isn't gonna last
You can sell to another chump at Urbio's Pump & Dump
Now it all started one Thanksgiving ago, was on - one year ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Urbio at the
company, but Urbio doesn't live at the company, he lives in the
church nearby the company, in the bell-tower, with his wife Faye and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't
have to sell any of the certs for a long time.
We got up there, we found all of the certs in there, and we decided it'd be a friendly gesture for us to take the certs down to the local brokerage. So we took the half a ton of certs, put them in the back of a red VW
microbus, took laptops and cell phones and implements of investing and headed on toward the local brokerage.
Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the brokerage saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a brokerage closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off into the sunset looking for another place to sell the certs.
We didn't find one. Until we came to a message board, and posting on the message board there were about 15 true longs, and in the possession of the longs there was another pile of certs. And we decided that one big pile is better than two little piles, and rather than buying theirs up, we decided to sell ours off.
That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until the
next morning, when we got a phone call from the SEC officers. They said, "Kid, we found your name on an reciept at the bottom of a half a ton of certs, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it." And I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that receipt under those certs."
After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down
and buy back the certs, and also had to go down and speak to him at the
SEC officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
laptops and cell phones and implements of investing and headed on toward the SEC officer's station.
Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at
the SEC station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for
being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out and told us never to be seen dumping shares around the vicinity again, which is what we expected, but when we got to the SEC officer's station there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I can sell back the shares with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid. Get in the back of the patrol car."
And that's what I did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three stop signs, two SEC officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was five SEC officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the Dateline story about it. And they was using up all kinds of
cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer's station.
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to mention the aerial photography.
After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want your
wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my wallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for scamming?"
Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the
toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Urbio (remember Urbio? It's a song about Urbio), Urbio came by and with a few nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.
We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up, and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry, 'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And we was fined $50 and had to buy back the certs from the longs, but that's not what I came to tell you about.
Came to talk about the boards.
They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York, and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."
And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to pump. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna pump. Pump. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see gaps and runs and people jumping in with both feet. Make parallel valuation theories . I mean pump, Pump, PUMP, PUMP." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "PUMP, PUMP," and he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, "PUMP, PUMP." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."
Didn't feel too good about it.
Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty
ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no
part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there, and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got one question. Have you ever been arrested?"
And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Urbio's Pump & Dump Massacre, with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever go to court?"
And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"
And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the pumpers after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Paid bashers. Short pumpers. Short Bashers! Paid bashers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest paid basher of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $50 and buy back the certs." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" And I said, "Dunping shares." And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, paid bashing, short pumping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it up and said.
"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna- know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing- you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked forforty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there, and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the following words:
("KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")
I went over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench
'cause you want to know if I'm immoral enough join the touts, fool women, kids, battle the bashers after bein' a Sharedumper." He looked at me and said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send your fingerprints off to Washington."
And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm
singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in a
situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk into
the shrink wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can sell to another chump, at Urbio's Pump & Dump.". And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and
they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Urbio's Pump & Dump and walking out. They may think it's an organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Urbio's Pump & Dump and walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.
And that's what it is , the Urbio's Pump & Dump Anti-Massacre Movement, and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the guitar.
With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and
sing it when it does. Here it comes.
You can sell to another chump, at Urbio's Pump & Dump
You can sell to another chump, at Urbio's Pump & Dump
Buy 'em up cause they're going fast
The chance to buy them at this level isn't gonna last
You can sell to another chump, at Urbio's Pump & Dump
That was horrible. If you want to end bashing and stuff you got to sing loud.
I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.
So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part
harmony and feeling.
We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.
All right now.
You can sell to another chump, at Urbio's Pump & Dump
Excepting Urbio
You can sell to another chump, at Urbio's Pump & Dump
Buy 'em up cause they're going fast
The chance to buy them at this level isn't gonna last
You can sell to another chump, at Urbio's Pump & Dump
Da da da da da da da dum
At Urbio's Pump & Dump
rofl!
10:30
Ask the sportsbook to put on some racing for our entertainment pleasure
10:32
Ask the sportsbook for something more entertaining, i.e. curling
229 DAYS AND COUNTING........
Only 229 days to go before the grand NON-SHAREHOLDERS APPRECIATION PARTY
That's right, this is a chance for you, the NON-SHAREHOLDER, to fly to Vegas at your own expense and celebrate the fact that you can afford to fly yourself to Vegas as you did not tie up all of your available cash in CMKX.
July 23 & 24, 2005 at the Mirage Hotel
Please make your reservations early, as by our recent calculations there are perhaps 5.5 billion NON-SHAREHOLDRES out there, and demand may be high.
Proposed Itenerary:
5:00
Registration & cocktails
5:30
Performance Artist Dave the Bartender will serve customers while you listen to music and drink cocktails.
6:00
"Find the Nano-diamond"
We will be inserting two micro-diamonds (total weight .00005 carats) into a jar full of sand. First NON-SHAREHOLDER to find them is allowed to keep them (must be of legal prospecting age, proof of non-shareholding required, offer not valid in Vermont or Missouri)
6:30
Dinner (tentative menu)
Appetizers: Rumaki, Spinach Puffs (bacon wrapped), Cheez-Its (sorry no bacon - vegetarian option)
Soup: Shrimp Bisque with shallots and bacon
Main Course: Spam, Spam, Bacon, Spam, Spam, Spam, Bacon, Spam, Bacon Wrapped Shrimp stuffed with Spam, and Spam
Desert: Creme Broulee
8:00
Gamble and Drink
8:30
Gamble, drink, and ogle the cocktail waitresses
9:30
Slideshow presentation, state of the NON-SHAREHOLDERS Address (I am hoping for assistance from Paulie Cashews on this one)
10:00
Canadian broads rush the stage
10:30
Ask the sportsbook to put on some racing for our entertainment pleasure
10:32
Ask the sportsbook for something more entertaining, i.e. curling
11:00
Prank phone calls to Roger Glenn
11:30
Hooker card scavenger hunt - The first person to return with business cards from prositutes names Terri, Candi, Misti, Bobbi, Lavender, & Agnes wins the grand prize (autographed picture of Sterling on the hood of a Kia)
12:00
More drinking & gambling (or perhaps contacting Agnes - not any of our business)
2:00 AM
Curfew
4:30 AM
Prayer Service (Porcelean God)
CHILDREN'S ACTIVITIES:
see above
I know someone who made a necklace of her baby teeth and wears it regularly.
Once upon a daytime sunny, I pondered use of my fun money,
Over many a promising investing message board,
While I read on, halfway toasted, suddenly a message posted,
As of some one simply spamming, spamming on my message board.
"'Tis some pumper," I muttered, "spamming on my message board --
Only this, and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate touting member brought its valuation up some more.
Eagerly I drained my savings; -- for then I believed the ravings
Little risk felt I was braving -- braving for a giant score --
For the rare and precious diamonds which would pay like none before --
Cashed in bonds and bought some more.
And the brazen and unyielding hustling of each fanatic tout
Thrilled me -- filled me with fantastic greed I never knew before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I kept on reading
Thoughts of a poster meeting Urban on the NHRA tour --
A wise investor's meeting Urban on the NHRA tour; --
Hocked my watch, and bought some more."
Presently my faith grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was wondering, when the company might stop blundering,
And deliver on the tender, that you've mentioned here before,
"Just wait for the PR " -- Here my hopes crashed down once more; ----
Racing news and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were the whispered words, "Buy more!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the words, "Buy more!" --
Merely this, and nothing more.
Then into the FALC we’re drilling, every update truly thrilling,
Soon I started selling other stocks to buy some more.
"Surely," said I, "surely since they bought a drilling apparatus;
We will see, then, what thereat is, and find diamonds there galore --
Let my riches be forthcoming from the diamonds and dressed ore;--
Let the PPS now soar!"
Soon I was attending races, when, after Jeff went through his paces,
Into the tent stepped Urban and we started a rapport;
No insider info gave he; but for an instant stopped and stayed he;
And, with mien of lord or lady, smiled, and I knew for sure--
Smiled and his eyes lit up and then I knew for sure --
Smiled, and drank, and nothing more.
Then this entrepreneur beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the “Got CMKX?” shirt he wore,
"Though thy face be quite unshaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven”,
Vastly wise and cunning Urban please hint at what might be in store --
Hint at what then to expect in the coming months and more!"
Quoth the Urban "Buy some more."
Much I marvelled this near God-like being to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning -- little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no sublunary being
Ever yet was blessed such acreage and DeBeers parked right next door --
Blessed with 1.9 mil acres and DeBeers parked right next door,
Told my brother, “Buy some more.”
And the Urban, sitting lonely in the racing dust, spoke only
That one phrase, as if his soul in that one phrase he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered -- till Jeff's engine sickly sputterd --
Then he scarcely more than muttered "Gonna have to print some more --
On the morrow I'll call Kinko's, and order three hundred billion more."
Quoth the Urban "print some more."
Wondering at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what he utters is The Plan and nothing more.
Caught surprised was the great master, by this unmerciful Disaster
But acted fast and dumped more faster so that Jeff could race some more --
Stern belief returned, by his swift action I was assured --
And my answer, "I will - buy some more."
And the Urban still deceiving all my sad soul into believing,
Straight I cooked a batch of meth and sold it off, and bought some more;
Then, upon much heavy drinking, I betook myself to thinking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this genius entrepreneur --
What this trim, and stately, brilliant, bald and genius entrepreneur
Meant in saying “Buy some more.”
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the Urban whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the racetrack's asphalt lining that the headlights gloated o'er,
Hurled upon the asphalt lining that the headlights gloated o'er,
I shall buy, (braaaagh!), many more!
Later, methought, the play grew tenser, reading posts I reckon'd should be censored
Posted by Bashers whose agendas were more desperate than before.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy boss hath paid thee -- for the hedge funds he hath sent thee
Respite -- respite and nepenthe, for if it drops we'll just buy more;
Let me speak for all the longs and tell you we'll just buy some more!"
Quoth the bashers “what the f&^k for?”
"Basher!" said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if friend or devil! --
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Bastard ye, SEC planted, on this Moose pasture enchanted --
On this land with diamonds loaded -- tell me truly, I implore --
Is there -- is there IUM in Saskatchewan? -- tell me -- tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Shorties “You've been warned.”
"Basher!" said I, "thing of evil -- prophet still, if friend or devil!
By the Urban who art above us -- by the Glenn we both adore --
Tell this soul with bags a' laden if, why this stock you are a'hatin',
It shall run without abating when the shorts realize the score --
Run straight up without abating when Dateline make their report."
Quoth Green Baron “Buy some more.”
"Be that word our sign in parting, basher fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting --
"Get thee back into the tempest for I'm going to buy some more!
Please leave no sarcastic token of the lies thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my hope for now unbroken! -- quit the bashing evermore!
Take thy beak from out my business, and take thy postings off my board!"
Quoth the Longs “We'll buy some more.”
And CMKX, never flitting, again is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bid of .0001, just above the cellar floor;
And this play has all the momo of grass growing shown in slo-mo,
And the man who bought my loan has come a knockin' at my door;
And a thought then I considered - hadn't dawned on me before;
It runs again -- nevermore!
The competition is killing me. I haven't had work in years.
:) ah, the joys of the tooth fairy..lol
Well I did stop drinking tequila after that night.
We do always have teeth on hand.
And yes I do still have teeth in an envelope from the kids.
well, i guess the tooth fairy has t make a living..lol
Not all of them.
NOT! do u still have teeth?
Way. I do.
no way! u do not!!
toothless hockey players=easier to pucker??
Hey I know the tooth fairy personally.
so true..lol...many toothless hockey players...lol
remember "all i want for christmas is my two front teeth"??
But of course. I'll have to take a look at that one. I imagine it's a popular one up in Canada, what with all the hockey players and all.
ROTFL!!!! omg....LOL!!!
Okay I will remember. Where should I send them?
remember "all i want for christmas is my two front teeth"??
Yeah, I thought about doing the German version, that way a smaller percentage would notice the lameness. But there are only so many Christmas songs, and still three weeks left. Gotta use the lame ones at some point.
weak...very weak. lol
Oh Urban C., oh Urban C., where in the hell's my GEMM divvy?
Oh Urban C., oh Urban C., where in the hell's my GEMM divvy?
Oh back in June, you brought delight, I didn't sell, I'm holding tight.
Oh Urban C., oh Urban C., where in the hell's my GEMM divvy?.
Oh Urban C., oh Urban C., with faithful sheep still holding.
Oh Urban C., oh Urban C., with faithful sheep still holding.
Do drills still spin, I do not know, or has the sun caused them to slow.
Oh Urban C., oh Urban C., with faithful sheep still holding.
Oh Urban C., oh Urban C., where in the hell's my GEMM divvy?
Oh Urban C., oh Urban C., where in the hell's my GEMM divvy?
(I realize this is pretty weak, but so is the original)
chisox, I LOVE YOU
Yes, chisox pat, there is a Diamondiferous Festivus card:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
And we all know that no one ignores No Moderator.
terrific Paulie! I see you spread the diamondiferous cheer to the CMKX board. I'll post a link on the MACH board in case anyone missed it.
it is a source of wonder.. he's my new ihub hero.. makes my 1-1 ratio look like alter boy stuff
Is this now the official Diamondiferous Poetry board?
Has your investment melted like a Nazi staring at the Arc of the Covenant?
Very nice work, Pat. I'll speak to No Moderator about making you the official poet laureate of the board.
A nine to 34 ratio. It's truly inspiring. I'm rethinking my entire shtick.
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're going to kill your ratio.
On the first Day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two Nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
D. Roger Glenn
Two Nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Four Transfer Agents
D. Roger Glenn
Two Nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Five worthless divvies..
Four Transfer Agents
D. Roger Glenn
Two Nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Six sheep a buyin'
Five worthless divvies..
Four Transfer Agents
D. Roger Glenn
Two Nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Seven Spec-o-lations
Six sheep a buyin'
Five worthless divvies..
Four Transfer Agents
D. Roger Glenn
Two Nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eight Melvins singing
Seven Spec-o-lations
Six sheep a buyin'
Five worthless divvies..
Four Transfer Agents
D. Roger Glenn
Two Nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Nine cars a'racing
Eight Melvins singing
Seven Spec-o-lations
Six sheep a buyin'
Five worthless divvies..
Four Transfer Agents
D. Roger Glenn
Two nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Ten Crazed Canuck broads
Nine cars a'racing
Eight Melvins singing
Seven Spec-o-lations
Six sheep a buyin'
Five worthless divvies..
Four Transfer Agents
D. Roger Glenn
Two nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the eleventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eleven Pumpers Pumping
Ten Crazed Canuck broads
Nine cars a'racing
Eight Melvins singing
Seven Spec-o-lations
Six sheep a buyin'
Five worthless divvies..
Four Transfer Agents
D. Roger Glenn
Two nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
On the twelveth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Twelve vauge PRs
Eleven Pumpers Pumping
Ten Crazed Canuck broads
Nine cars a'racing
Eight Melvins singing
Seven Spec-o-lations
Six sheep a buyin'
Five worthless divvies..
Four Transfer Agents
D. Roger Glenn
Two nano diamonds
And a painting on black velvet of Urbie
Tell Matt to screw off
Reviews at Mach's not as positive. I received official warning from Matt to stop posting that "vulgar poem".
Thanks all for the positive feedback. I wonder if the reviews will be similar over at Mach's.
Ewwwww!!!!!!!!
anyone got a sound for a belch & a fart at the same time??? AK WHERE ARE YOU???
Here....take some of this:
I thought it was a horse is a horse?
Of course of course
I think I ate one too many gurbs...FEH!
You are just "gurbing" all over the place lately!
Don't you feel well?
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