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— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) March 22, 2024
YEP:
“IF I CHEATED WOULD YOU STAY WITH ME?”
— Texas 🇺🇸 (@MustangMan_TX) March 21, 2024
Wife gives an interesting response! 🥺😂😂 pic.twitter.com/eNrs7J65JW
magic:
😂😂💀 pic.twitter.com/PXB4Ye585X
— Rob (@_ROB_29) March 21, 2024
A sexist would say! LMBO!
— 1776 2.0? (@ChrisSi39851937) March 21, 2024
Might be WA, but they're no longer requiring the law exam
to become a lawyer.....
The joke's on us again......
I just sold a lawnmower on Marketplace.
— Helga Von Tippler (@DanaLeaB1) March 20, 2024
That’s the last time my neighbor is going to wake me up early on a weekend. pic.twitter.com/MABbAbT54I
Don’t let your girlfriend catch the bouquet. pic.twitter.com/5EzMGgu8gZ
— RyanFJBLGB🇺🇸🦅 (@RyanPatrick1991) March 20, 2024
I love golden oldies with HAPPY ENDINGS!
G’Morning Patriots 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/CHxbESNAzh
— ᖇᗩᗪIO ᘜᑌY 📻 (@ski_nh) March 19, 2024
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard a voice....say, ‘Jesus is watching you.’
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.
‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’
The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’
‘I'm Moses.’ replied the bird.
‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’
‘The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.’
Two point for Gryffindor!
Good morning! Hope you have a lovely day 🥰 pic.twitter.com/ixy0h37Z3M
— Becs 🇬🇧 (@becs2986) March 19, 2024
Have a great day y'all 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/39P2jAoDvI
— 🇺🇸Txsvn925 🇺🇸 (@Txsvn925) March 19, 2024
Don't do it!
— Templar⚔️ (@aTeXan575) March 18, 2024
Don't take the bait!
You eejit! But RIP 🙏 pic.twitter.com/BzCooDFZTk
Pretty sure this one is a little boy.
— 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝕏ʰⁱᵗᵐᵃⁿ 🏴☠️ (@imUrB00gieman) March 18, 2024
🤦😝😝😝😝😝 pic.twitter.com/s7etbAKiUN
LOL! So bad that it is good!
Boy is this true! 🙄
— IGotYourSix (@noreen05291) March 17, 2024
😂😂😂🤗🥰 pic.twitter.com/xfUNpNg6aL
— Ultra MagaBA🇺🇸 (@Brookltnwilliw) March 18, 2024
Make sure all you folks in a hurry this Manic Monday wave as you pass me. Cheers pic.twitter.com/MoumgB9mEz
— TheyCallMeDoc (@TheyCallMeDoc1) March 18, 2024
Proving that you can't win!
TMI....it was always said that what you drive.....
says a lot about you......we were prejudiced that way back then.....
Me, I started with a '51Ford pickup and then had a fast Olds, a '66 Delta Dynamic 88
and then a '54 Willy's Jeep Wagon, and then a '71 Charger that you watched the
fuel gauge drop on when you floored it.....
I knew a gal that had a Gremlin, wouldn't ride in it.....
I knew another that had a Pacer......wouldn't ride in it
but she sure as hell loved my Charger
— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) March 16, 2024
— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) March 16, 2024
— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) March 16, 2024
— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) March 16, 2024
— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) March 16, 2024
It’s hardwired in. pic.twitter.com/2EPM9RiWb0
— Mrs. S. (@hshLauraJ) March 15, 2024
That earns her some points! I hope hubby has a sense of humor.
she kept a straight face-until the end- LOL
Next time she'll hit him with the $200 headlight fluid change! LOL!
— getmoreshares (@getmoreshares) March 15, 2024
Premium Air Prank.
— 🕊 𝓐𝓷𝓷 𝓲𝓼 𝓡𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 🕊 𝐗𝐋𝐕 (@Ann_Lilyflower) March 14, 2024
This lady is hilarious!!!! 😆🤣🤣😅 pic.twitter.com/KBsRqBimmM
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