The BullNBear Corner

[delerious1]

The Soul of America ,,,,sounds like a good book

Thanks

[delerious1]

Great article by Umair Haque


Don’t Tear Yourself Down Just Because the World’s Falling Apart

"None of us should do that. The place that we must begin, as ever, is with not tearing ourselves down — because that radiates outwards, from us to others. First, we accept our own shortcomings and limitations. I am lazy sometimes, I am greedy sometimes, I spend too much money, and I care too much what people think of me — I’m a “flawed human being.” We make a big deal of this these days, too, don’t we?

But after we do that, we must accept the world’s flaws and shortcomings, too. “Hey, even though I’m greedy and lazy sometimes, I can do selfish and impulsive things — that doesn’t mean I deserve to be treated like this, without respect or dignity or belonging. That’s not my fault — that’s a shortcoming in society, culture, the world around me. And if it is — maybe I have to work to help fix it, if I can.”

Don’t Tear Yourself Down Just Because the World’s Falling Apart
The Subtle Art of Self-Worth in a Time of Collapse
umair haque
Eudaimonia and Co
umair haque

Published in
Eudaimonia and Co

·
9 min read
·
Feb 18

https://medium.com/eudaimonia-co/dont-tear-yourself-down-just-because-the-world-s-falling-apart-d4bb0b0db880

[BullNBear52]

Having a Hard Christmas? Jesus Did, Too
Dec. 25, 2022
By Tish Harrison Warren

Opinion Writer

Among my most treasured memories is one Christmas Day when I was around 6 or 7 years old. Christmases in my childhood were fairly magical, with good food, lots of family, presents and fun. But that Christmas I was miserable. I lay in bed at my grandmother’s house, where we went for our Christmas feast, with a stomach bug, separated from the rest of the family so as not to spread my Yuletide germs. Alone and unable to eat, I listened sadly to the laughter and glee down the hall. Then my dad popped his head in the door. He brought me a ginger ale with a straw and sat at the end of the bed. He touched my forehead with the back of his hand to check my fever and joked with me gently and kindly.

My father was a complicated man who kept to himself at home and was often distant. We knew he loved us but he showed that more through mowing the lawn and filling up the gas tank rather than giving us hugs or telling us so. But that morning my father left the healthy people, the party and the food and came to spend time with me, just me. I don’t remember what gifts I got that year. I don’t remember what the decorations looked like or what food I missed out on, but I remember my father’s face, his voice, his hands, his smile.

This story comes back to me this time of year because the holidays are often a lonely time for many of us. And in some ways for all of us. No matter how many family members or friends we have, no matter how delicious the food on the table, in quiet moments, many of us still feel a lack, a pang in our hearts, the recurrent ache of longing. We long for peace that we cannot conjure on our own. We long for justice and truth to win out. We long for a joy that isn’t quite so elusive. We long for relationships that last. No matter one’s political affiliation, race, income or education level, we share a common human yearning for a wholeness and flourishing that we do not yet know on this convulsed and suffering planet.

It was my father’s presence that transformed that childhood Christmas, giving it meaning beyond just misery, making it burn bright in my memory. This little moment was a tiny, imperfect picture to me as a kid of what Christians celebrate this morning in nearly every language around the globe: God, like my father, entered our room. The radical claim that Christians make is that God has not remained aloof, transcendent, resplendent in majesty and glory, but became one of us, to be with us in the finitude, the bewilderment, the loneliness and longing of being human.

The analogy falls short. Christians believe that, unlike my father, Jesus was not simply a human messenger visiting us in our suffering. He was God-made flesh, “infinity dwindled to infancy,” as the 19th-century poet Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote. The Christmas story tells us that therefore Emmanuel — which means “God with us” in Hebrew — is in fact with us in the whole of our actual lives, in our celebration and merrymaking, in our mundane days, and in sickness, sorrows, doubts, failures and disappointments.

Christians believe that because God himself entered humanity, humanity is being transformed even as we speak. Because God took on a human body, all human bodies are holy and worthy of respect. Because God worked, sweating under our sun with difficulty and toil, all human labor can be hallowed. Because God had a human family and friends, our relationships too are eternal and sacred. If God became a human who spent most of his life in quotidian ways, then all of our lives, in all of their granularity, are transformed into the site of God’s surprising presence.

Yet what astounds me most about the Christmas story is not merely the notion that God became a baby or that God got calluses and cavities, had fingernails and friends and enjoyed good naps and good parties. Christians proclaim today that God actually took on or assumed our sickness, loneliness and misery. God knows the depths of human pain not in theory but because he has felt it himself. From his earliest moments, Jesus would have been considered a nobody, a loser, another overlooked child born into poverty, an ethnic minority in a vast, oppressive and seemingly all-powerful empire. We have tamed the Christmas story with overfamiliarity and sentimentality — little lambs and shepherds, tinsel and stockings — so we fail to notice the depth of pain, chaos and danger into which Jesus was born.

God identifies himself most with the hungry and the vulnerable, with those in chronic pain, with victims of violence, with the outcasts and the despised. In “The Message,” a poetic paraphrase of the scriptures, the pastor and theologian Eugene Peterson translates John 1 by saying, “The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood.” When Jesus, the Word, “moved into the neighborhood,” it was not into a posh home in a cozy Christmas movie but instead into a place of hardship and sorrow.

The hope of Christmas is that God did not — and therefore will not — leave us alone. In the midst of our doubts and suffering comes a baby. This child, Christians claim, is God’s embodied response to all of our human aching. In his book “Unapologetic,” Francis Spufford writes that Christians “don’t have an argument that solves the problem of the cruel world, but we have a story.” This story is one of God moving into the neighborhood.

Christianity hasn’t answered all my questions. It has not made me perfectly happy. It has not satisfied my sense of longing. If anything, my (often feeble) attempts to live as a Christian have heightened it. But the Christian story tells me that my deepest longings are not just farce, that they point to something true and therefore should be listened to. This Christmas I long not just for love, but for eternal love. I long for a deeper purity and righteousness than I can muster by good behavior. I long for a justice more profound than Congress can ever deliver. I long for “peace on earth and good will toward men” that is more complete and all-encompassing than we’ve ever known. I long for meaning that is more lasting than I can create. I believe that this baby born in Bethlehem is the mystery our hearts keep chasing, the end of our all quests and the longing we cannot shake.

So, friends, I hope you know longing this Christmas, and even more so, I hope you know hope.

Merry Christmas!

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/25/opinion/hard-christmas-jesus.html

[BullNBear52]

https://twitter.com/BullNBear52/status/1599806190686416904

[BullNBear52]

So I took the summer off to catch up on life. Retiring, turning 70 and having a major health scare will make someone pause and think.

For Ihub I got tired of having to defend myself with people I really didn't know and posting to some people who were blithering idiots. For the latter why did I bother to begin with. And I came to realize it is OK to like republicans as Biden pointed out two weeks ago on a Thursday. You may disagree with them but that is no reason to dislike them entirely. I actually like Liz Cheney and Kinzinger. Liz has spunk! And Kinzinger deserves better.

And because of the big 3 above I got depressed and adding to that was the state of this country and exactly how polarized it has become. I keep coming back to a book by Jon Meacham,

The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels
by Jon Meacham
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-soul-of-america-the-battle-for-our-better-angels_jon-meacham/18863104/item/28711511/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwjvaYBhDlARIsAO8PkE2iE2aw_7CfOIDEY3Q_AIXWK8puXBlD-nIzp2DtI8ZOAHk1bRhkLmEaAinoEALw_wcB#idiq=28711511&edition=20066410

The madness needs to stop. Donald Trump was always an idiot and for his followers I wish them luck following him to hell. (And yes I do think there is an afterlife but that is strictly my opinion based on my religion and if you don't like it too bad.)

On a more positive note after I recovered from my health scare I decided to start doing things I had long overlooked while I was working. The list is endless with everything I've gotten done. But my pride and joy my pickup truck is good to go for another 100K.

[BullNBear52]

Are there any perfect brackets left in 2021?
After the first day of NCAA action, there are still 192 perfect brackets remaining among the top bracket sites. Here's how they break down:

ESPN
There are still 161 perfect ESPN brackets.

Yahoo
There are still 14 perfect Yahoo brackets.

CBS
There are still nine perfect CBS brackets

NCAA
There are still eight perfect NCAA Bracket Challenge brackets.
https://www.sportingnews.com/us/ncaa-basketball/news/perfect-brackets-2022-march-madness/ogbygqlcknpsmz1rzdadsjha

[BullNBear52]

March Madness Tourney Pickems

The Cellar Dwellers Group

https://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/group/37863/invitation?key=d2f22c5ab1e5a3b7

[BullNBear52]

Hot off the wire the latest standings,

Me 5 losses
The kid 4 losses
You 6 losses


Joe Cool is too cool!

Morning recap,

Me 4 losses
The kid 4 losses
You 5 losses

We almost rolled the table. NFL needs to fix the OT rule.




Ok the latest standings,

Me 3 losses
The kid 3 losses
You 4 losses

I realize the 49ers was a WAG but what the hell, Rodgers is a jerk.





Me 2 losses
The kid 1 loss
You 2 losses

That is plural for both of us.

[BullNBear52]

Bills fans set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for 'Bills Elvis' stolen tailgate
Adria R. Walker
Rochester Democrat and Chronicle

The Buffalo Bills fanbase is perhaps best known for two things: 1. Its enthusiastic breaking of tables and other unique tailgating traditions and 2. Its charitable donations.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/bills/2022/01/21/buffalo-bills-mafia-fans-gofundme-bills-elvis-replace-stolen-tailgate/6609488001/?gnt-cfr=1

They'll pick a charity from an opposing team and donate to it.

Chiefs fans did the same thing donating to a charity that Josh Allen had started.

Kansas City Chiefs fans donate over $300,000 to Buffalo children’s hospital following playoff win over Bills
PUBLISHED THU, JAN 27 20221:03 PM ESTUPDATED THU, JAN 27 20221:46 PM EST
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/01/27/kansas-city-chiefs-fans-donate-to-buffalo-childrens-hospital-after-win-over-bills.html
KEY POINTS

Oishei Children’s Hospital in Buffalo began receiving donations in increments of $13 from Chiefs fans to mark the 13 seconds it took for the Chiefs offense to tie Sunday’s game against the Bills.
Donations topped $300,000 by Thursday, according to a Facebook post from the hospital.

The Chiefs will face the Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday for the AFC title game and the chance to play in the Super Bowl.

After watching their team eliminate the Buffalo Bills from the playoffs in an instant classic, Kansas City Chiefs fans decided to turn their win into a boon for their vanquished rival’s hometown.

Oishei Children’s Hospital in Buffalo began receiving donations in increments of $13 from Chiefs fans on Tuesday. Donations topped $300,000 by Thursday, according to a Facebook post from the hospital.

The $13 donations represent the 13 seconds it took for the Chiefs offense to tie Sunday’s stunning playoff game at the end of the fourth quarter. Kansas City won 42-36 in overtime.

ESPN first reported news of the charitable donations on Wednesday.

Bills fans have a tradition of donating to charities associated with other NFL teams. Feeling inspired by them, a Facebook group called Chiefs Kingdom Memes sparked a push to give back by directing money to the Buffalo-based children’s hospital.

“I was hoping maybe 100 others would join,” Brett Fitzgerald, who runs the Facebook page, told CNBC. “This is unprecedented and every single person who donated any amount should be very proud of themselves.”

The hospital became associated with Bills quarterback Josh Allen after fans donated $1.1 million in honor of Allen’s grandmother, who died last year, ESPN wrote. Fans donated in increments of $17, Allen’s jersey number.

An instance of Bills fans’ generosity to a rival team came after Buffalo beat the Baltimore Ravens to eliminate them from the playoffs last year. Bills fans donated more than $500,000 to Ravens quarterback Lamar Jackson’s foundation, according to a Fox News report.

The Bills’ season ended on Sunday following the loss to the Chiefs. They finished the season 11-6.

The Chiefs will face the Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday for the AFC title game and the chance to play in the Super Bowl for the third straight year.

The Chiefs and the Bills did not immediately respond to CNBC’s requests for comment. Oishei Children’s Hospital’s donation office did not immediately reply to a message requesting comment.

[BullNBear52]

Our picks,

I'm going with

The Bengals and the 49ers.

The kid is going with

The Bengals and the Rams.

[EZ2]

Last day for post ability here!

FINAL PICKS

Rams
Chiefs

CHIEFS

[BullNBear52]

Morning recap,

Me 4 losses
The kid 4 losses
You 5 losses

We almost rolled the table. NFL needs to fix the OT rule.




Ok the latest standings,

Me 3 losses
The kid 3 losses
You 4 losses

I realize the 49ers was a WAG but what the hell, Rodgers is a jerk.





Me 2 losses
The kid 1 loss
You 2 losses

That is plural for both of us.

[EZ2]

TG my CHIEFS hold serve !!!

[BullNBear52]

Well it over yet. Bucs down by 7.

[EZ2]

I’m taking a mulligan!!

Bengals
Niners
Rams
Bills

Home field advantage my ass !!

And, time to turn over the reins Tom Terrific ~~~ it was a great run, I think never to be undone !!

[BullNBear52]

Dick Butkus fires hilarious shot at Aaron Rodgers after getting verified on Twitter
https://clutchpoints.com/packers-news-dick-butkus-fires-hilarious-shot-at-aaron-rodgers-after-getting-verified-on-twitter/

[BullNBear52]

Titans play calling on the second to last series of downs was horrendous.

2nd and short they pass incomplete.
3rd and short instead of handing off to Henry a QB keeper for no gain. Henry had the 1st down if he had had the ball.

4th and short Henry had to run 5 yards just to get to the handoff and gets tackled for a loss.

Fire the OC today.

[EZ2]

Be it ever so humble…. No place like HOME!! ~~~~~ Not !!!!!

[EZ2]

I actually think SF could be last team standing!

To go into GB in weather like that and eke out a W is huge ! Their defense is very underrated! And special teams one of the best in league!

[BullNBear52]

Ok the latest standings,

Me 3 losses
The kid 3 losses
You 4 losses

I realize the 49ers was a WAG but what the hell, Rodgers is a jerk.





Me 2 losses
The kid 1 loss
You 2 losses

That is plural for both of us.

[EZ2]

As I stated…. Could go either way…. And they did !

I’m toast !!

[BullNBear52]

The kids picks,

Titans
Packers
Rams
Bills

[BullNBear52]

My picks

Titans
49ers
Rams
Buffalo

[EZ2]

Next guesses:

TITANS
PACKERS
BUCS
CHIEFS

and a lot of luck!

EZily could have gone: Bengals, Niners(weather), Rams and NYBills!!!!

GL!!

[EZ2]

Wow, did I get RAMMED !!!

So happy for MS though ~~~ such a deserved win for a guy who got STUCK In Detroit!

Some tough matchups now ~~~ I don’t consider the Pack a lock !

GL !!

[BullNBear52]

Ok the latest standings,

Me 2 losses
The kid 1 loss
You 2 losses

That is plural for both of us.

[BullNBear52]

LOL. I just had it vinyl sided to match the house. 2 stories with 10 foot high ceilings.

[EZ2]

THAT is not a barn,,,,,, that is a CASTLE !!!

[BullNBear52]

That's the barn I need wired.

[EZ2]

WOW ~~~ that looks like MICHIGAN !!

Enjoy !!!!

[BullNBear52]

Ok the latest standings,

Me 2 losses
The kid 1 loss
You 1 loss

[BullNBear52]

I was thinking the 49ers since I can't stand Jerry Jones. That said the definition of a mental lapse is Dak (what was I thinking) Prescott.

Please send bird seed. I had to refill the bird feeders late yesterday afternoon.

Took this just now.



It;s a winter wonderland.

[EZ2]

I was going to pick the NINERS after watching them teach the RAMS a lesson last week. I believe they MAY be the real sleeper team in the entire playoffs ! Next game will be the real challenge ----- but, don't count them out.....yet !

Go CARDS !!!!

Got Snow !!!

[BullNBear52]

No way I was picking Tom Brady.

[EZ2]

[EZ2]

Bucs
Boys
Cheeps

And, Arizona Cardinals !

[BullNBear52]

The Kids picks for Sunday and Monday.

Tampa Bay
Dallas
KC

Monday the Rams.

[BullNBear52]

My picks for Sunday and Monday.


Eagles
Dallas
KC

Monday Rams

[BullNBear52]

I Couldn’t Say ‘My Mother’ Without Crying
Losing a family member at a young age has lasting impacts, well into adulthood. There’s no quick fix for childhood grief.
By Hope Edelman
Ms. Edelman is the author of “Motherless Daughters.”
Aug. 25, 2019

This month on CNN, Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert engaged in a candid conversation about the long-term effects of childhood grief. Mr. Cooper was 10 years old when his father died from a heart attack. Mr. Colbert also was 10 when his father died in a plane crash that also took two of his brothers’ lives. Their early losses, both men agreed, shaped their priorities, their worldviews and the adults they ultimately became.

“I was personally shattered,” Mr. Colbert recalled. “And then you kind of re-form yourself in this quiet, grieving world that was created in the house.”

This story I know well. My mother died of breast cancer in 1981, when she was 42 and I was 17. At the time, I thought grieving was a five-stage process that could be rushed through and aced, like an easy pop quiz. When I still painfully missed my mother three and five and even 10 years later, my conclusion was that I must have gotten grieving wrong.

It took me quite a few years of therapy, interviews with hundreds of other motherless daughters, and several books written on the subject to finally let go of the cultural message that grief is something to be “gotten over” in the service of “moving on.” I’m hoping the Cooper-Colbert interview will help save others that kind of time.

What their conversation brings to light is how tenacious and recurrent childhood grief can be. It often flares up around anniversary events, such as birthdays and holidays; makes appearances at life milestones, like graduations and weddings; and sneaks up at age-correspondence events, such as reaching the age a parent was when he or she died. That’s a big one.

It also appears in regular, everyday moments. Mr. Colbert spoke about still being undone by the song “Band on the Run,” which was playing in heavy rotation the month his father and brothers died. Similarly, every time I hear “Love Will Keep Us Together” by Captain and Tennille I’m transported back into a wood-paneled basement circa 1978 where I’m teaching my mother how to dance the Continental, and missing her feels raw and fresh again. Then it passes.

To lose a parent in the 1980s was to do so in the Dark Ages of grief support. Stoicism, silence and suppression were still the ethos of the day. It would take me five years to be able to say “my mother” without crying. I wish I could say I was an anomaly, but I’ve met so many others with this story that at some point I began wondering if we were the norm.

Yet despite all the progress made in organized bereavement support over the past 40 years, very few services exist today for adults bereaved during childhood and adolescence. And this is a puzzling omission, because millions of Americans fall into this category. A New York Life Foundation nationwide survey of 1,006 adults age 25 and over revealed that 14 percent of those surveyed lost a parent or sibling before the age of 20. If we apply that percentage to the United States adult population as a whole, even conservatively, nearly 30 million people in America experienced the death of an immediate family member during childhood or adolescence.

Why is this important? Because we know that mismanaged and unexpressed grief can surface later as unregulated anger, take root as depression or disease and fuel a desire to self-medicate. Imagine a population of 30 million people with stories of major, early loss, many of them unspoken and suppressed. Then look around. Unmourned losses from the past could be a public health crisis.

A child’s response to major loss depends on several factors, including the cause of death, the closeness of the relationship and the child’s developmental stage. Very young children may not yet understand what death means. They’ll come to that awareness later, as their intellect matures. Tweenagers may grasp the concept cognitively but don’t yet have the emotional maturity to manage the feelings that arise. They’ll have to attend to those later. Teenagers have to balance the typical tasks of adolescence with the extraordinary demands of mourning. If overwhelmed by both, they may push one aside for a while, only to revisit it 10 years down the road. Or 20. Or more. This is how childhood grief becomes protracted over a lifetime.

Most of all, early, major loss can derail a life narrative and shatter a child’s sense of safety and assumptions about the future. As Anderson Cooper shared, his father’s death “changed the trajectory of my life. I am a different person than I feel like I was meant to be.”

Western culture has been labeled “death-denying,” but really, death-dodging is just as accurate. We skid away from discomfort and vulnerability around grief. We like prescriptions, easy instructions and a sense of mastery and control. Given a choice, we’ll opt for the quick fix. Every time.

Two Thursday nights ago on national television, Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert said the quiet part out loud: There is no quick fix here. The effects of early parent loss reverberate throughout a lifetime.

Continuing this conversation is more than a dialogical exercise. It’s a social responsibility. No adult left behind. We need to keep educating one another about the long arc of childhood grief and offering support to everyone along its route.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/25/opinion/mothers-childhood-grief.html?module=inline

[BullNBear52]

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