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Her - Who do you please with that little thing?
Him ---- ME!
Ahhh, I didn't see that one, thanks!!!
there is a second video -- below - flying hot dog
Reminds me of ....
Her: Your organ is a bit small.
Him: Well, I didn't know I'd be playing a cathedral!!!!!
That's the one I replied to.
😬🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/DO2NLuAF6h
— 💖🍷🐱TheOverDramaticBuckeyeBitch🐱🍷💖 (@BuckeyeBitch) August 14, 2023
Or stating that it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
🙈💒👰🤵♂️ pic.twitter.com/Qeo5bOFikR
— PAUL ALIEN 9💎🔞🔞🔞 (@PhilipL47837986) August 14, 2023
LOL.. That's my story and I'm stick'n to it
B2B
— 1776 2.0? (@ChrisSi39851937) August 14, 2023
Some here are old enough to remember when men were men...
if anything, you gave each other shit....in good fun
and you struck gold if you got under a guy's skin....
and you might even take off running....hell I did
played pranks....some got out of hand....
but never out of meaness, it was always in good fun
watching some of the old movies from the late 30's and early 40's
that's what they do even in those movies....I laugh my butt off at it....
had a room mate MANY years ago, we were really good friends
one night in the dark---here came a dirty sock across the room that hit me in the face
until I hit him with a dirty underwear likewise
one of us would start that crap if we couldn't sleep, and of course I was just nodding
off that night when he did it.....to see the other wake up with a dirty sock across his face
and he got the paper every day with a rubber band on it
and he stuck 'em on the door knob by his bed
so----*zing* across the room in the dark and he popped me in the nose with a rubberband.....
and my friggin' crooked fingers from Sister Yolanda breakin' em because I wrote left-handed,
I couldn't hit him for crap...it finally pissed me off
well we had wrist rockets we used to use hunting ducks on a nearby pond at night
and he used to drink cocoa with little marshmallows sometimes
Now keep in mind we had both undressed and went to bed in our underwear
when I finally got pissed.....and had spots all over me from those rubber bands
I grabbed my wrist rocket, ran to the kitchen and grabbed his bag of little marshmallows
he popped me in the ass with a rubber band he'd pulled back over a foot as I ran by....
lights were on at that point
and he had jumped up to pop me with another and was looking at me with that wrist rocket
pulled clear back to my shoulder aimed right at his balls
I fired, he jumped Up and it missed him and he saw it sink into the sheetrock KERSMACK!
He said looked back and said DAMN! and HEY! Hold on There!
Only to see me drawing back again aiming for his privates......
and it hit him right in the right thigh just to the side of his manjunk
He went straight up in the air well over 3 feet....and I saw blind rage come over him
on the way up and it was like slow mo as he was coming back down
I threw the wrist rocket and marshmallows up in the air and ran out the door
wearing nothing but my underwear and it was -27º that night....
he stopped at the door and slammed it shut and locked it
now we lived in a smaller 2 story apt building with parking all around
across from a high school and a town cop was the bldg mgr....
and there I was hiding from high school kids driving around
and people from the bldg....until after about 45 minutes
I couldn't take it anymore......snuck up to our 2nd story apt door
and it was now unlocked......opened the door and said can I come in?
he croaked....IF I COULD GET UP, I'd SHOOT YOUR ASS...
come on in....his leg...OMG.....had a black blood blister over 6 inches across
he could barely move......well that ended the dirty sock throwing and rubber band crap
he jumped in the tub, turned on the shower, and popped that monster with a pocket knife
took him about 3 weeks to get back to normal
If I had hit where I aimed.......it would've either killed him or crippled him for life.....
He didn't hold it against me, heck, he got his licks in on me at times...
and so it went when Men were Men.......©
💤 You know, this board is a lot more interesting in the winter. During the nice, warm summer weather, your board is like watching Henry Fonda pick blueberries.
In the winter, I enjoy watching you battle a metric ass-ton of snow, broken fences, inconsiderate neighbors, frozen equipment, missing calves and cattle, broken axles, sheriffs, poachers, and gun-toting killers coming after you in the night.
Click Here: Paulie's Pixel Palace
" Lol .. !! . dat be a goodie " .. !!
Free marriage tip…. pic.twitter.com/8zX93YLHHG
— Jim Weed (@JimBobW49) August 9, 2023
Good one! Thing was so helpful!
Notice the name of the movie?
— PAUL ALIEN 9💎🔞🔞🔞 (@PhilipL47837986) August 5, 2023
will admit-- it took a second to figure that one. cop porn
— Jokerswild (@JokersWildUK) August 4, 2023
There was a Catholic Church, a Baptist Church and a Synagogue on opposing corners, at an intersection. One morning the Priest, th eRabbi and the Preacher were having coffee together. The Preacher and the Priest got into a rousing discussion about winning over members from each others congregations. The Rabbi, secure with his flock said he would observe.
That Sunday, the Priest gave rousing sermon.
The following Sunday, The Preacher gave a rousing sermon. The choir sang "There's a Gold Mine In The Sky"
50 Jews joined the Baptist Church
B2B
A long joke. Worth the read. LOL
A Priest & a Rabbi were riding in a car together, when they had a serious wreck.. They both crawled out of the wreckage. The Priest crossed himself
The Rabbi went through the same motions.
The Priest; "How dare you mimic me, crossing myself.
The Rabbi " Mimicing? Who is mimicking? I'm checkink. specticles--testicles, vallet, vatch"
B2B
At a conference of religious leaders, three of the most prominent individuals got into a discussion of which of them had the strongest faith and ability to convert the heathens. One was a Catholic Priest, one a Baptist Minister, and one a Jewish Rabbi.
As the night went on, and each one's claims became more fanciful, one of them claimed "I bet I could convert a bear." Rather than challenge the claim, the other two insisted they could convert a bear as easily as he. They decided they would make it a challenge, each would find and attempt to convert a bear the next weekend in Yellowstone National Park.
After that weekend, the Priest and the Minister happened to bump into each other at the local hospital, where each was making the rounds to visit patients from their particular denominations.
"I did it!" claimed the Priest. "I read to the bear from the Catechism, sprinkled him with holy water and next week is his First Communion." The Priest did have a few scratches on him, but nothing bad.
The Minister also had a few small cuts and bruises, but nothing major. "I too succeeded in my efforts. I found a bear by the stream, preached God's holy word and he let me baptize him in the river."
The two of them rejoiced in their successes and were about to part ways when a couple of paramedics came rushing by with a gurney on their way to the emergency room. On the gurney was the Rabbi and he was a mess. He had cut and bite marks all over him and at least a dozen broken bones. He was barely conscious, but was able to identify his colleagues as they followed alongside him. He gestured them close to his mouth and in a strained voice he said to them, "maybe I shouldn't have started with circumcision."
This is so funny 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/Wi2Eavaxb5
— 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘™️ (@CL4WS_OUT) August 1, 2023
— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) August 1, 2023
Perfect depiction of what's wrong with this country. 7 attacks on the secret service guys. 1 went to the hospital.
If it was one of our dogs, do you honestly think the pooch would be going back to doggie school for the 8th time!?
NOTHING touches this swine family.
Morning! 😘 pic.twitter.com/eC8tu8zI1b
— Bonita (@_1Bonita_) July 26, 2023
We can at least give it a try 😜 pic.twitter.com/3RCIl9XXGM
— Jenn X (@pinkyjennifer) July 26, 2023
— getmoreshares (@getmoreshares) July 25, 2023
🤭🤭🤭 pic.twitter.com/ErJrGDWMB1
— ♡𝕣ꪖꪜꫀꪀ ડ᭙ꪖꪶꪶꪮ᭙ડ♡ (@Raven_Swallows) July 24, 2023
— Katy. NO DM’S (@Katy1927) July 24, 2023
😬😏😆 pic.twitter.com/SOHloqhQ4W
— Wi-no Trmpwan (@UnoTrmpwan2) July 24, 2023
— M2 (@Amer1can_Barbie) July 24, 2023
— Ron_H🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🗽 (@Rabid_AU) July 23, 2023
Sadly true as well.
Men 😄😬 pic.twitter.com/bVnUqmQtSW
— Bonita (@_1Bonita_) July 21, 2023
you got THAT right!!
couldn't just sit and do nothing
so found me a 3500 lb hand winch that will work to replace
the hydraulic one....AND because it sucked picking it up off the ground
got to looking at swivel trailer jacks and then went and looked at it again
and I have a weld on jack....and some 2" drill stem steel pipe...
and turns out the "hitch" is a piece of pipe, run through a bigger pipe welded on
that has a pin through it, so all I need to do is take a piece of my 2", drill a couple holes
and I can put my jack on it AND drill an extra hole past that to drop a pin in it
to move it around.....was too fried yesterday and the evening before to even notice...
and it was too friggin' hot to stand out there in KS and look at it...
I about flipped when I noticed how shitty the hookup is.......
I paid $300 for the auger in an auction....and it cost me that much in fuel
to go get it, BUT got the small short augers cheap- $50 each....with only 30 extra miles
and was having a time finding one cheap.......one will take the corn and transfer it
into my Grinder/mixer from the Grain bins I got....picked up 4 reasonable on auction
so still have to get them set up
and was glad didn't have to buy tires for the auger....they've been going for $1600
and up and needed tires to boot which means doing all that crap out on the road
Basically $2000 plus having to go get the auger and this one was closer than any
others I could get. So can't complain about what have spent...
next big job AFTER getting the hand crank installed
is shortening that 60' down to 40' or so....it's too damn long now
but will be a heavy duty 40' when I get done with it
but can't do a damn thing with it until I can lower it down flat to work on it
so a couple hours of basically office work to finish out my day
and order some supplies I needed anyway.
BUT I am DAMN glad to have that trip over with.
Got my big bucket for the telehandler, got my 4 spear- bale spear,
and my adapter to use 'em came in the other day....have some big bales to stack
get this auger set.....
now hoping to get some big 12" x 12" timbers to mount the bins to
don't feel like pouring concrete and with them bolted to big timbers
can always unbolt and move them if I change things around
Need some Jehovah Witnesses to stop by to "visit" and preach
I tell 'em....if you work, you can talk.....
one day of that and they don't come back
FOR YEARS.......until a new batch of young and dumb comes by...
the hardest part of it
is not laughing my ass off.......keeping a straight face....
and it IS HARD not to laugh....I mean really hard......
there was no video-- bet those cops laughed their ass off!
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This is where folks come to swap stories, real or flat out lies about those things in life which make us happy.
Some might call it a Liar's Bench, but we should pride ourselves as being above lying and eloquently share our fun, bizarre, wild, wierd tales that defy logic.
Here's a subject list for starters:
Hunting, Fishing, Farting, Telling Crass Jokes, Turning wrenches on your truck or hotrod,
Building anything that you can drive, ride, sit in, shoot, or annoy the jerk next door, like adding so much power that your drivelines exploded.
Yours or a friend's worst drunk, wreck, accident or time you or someone you know made a complete fool of themselves... Sports bloopers you saw or were a part of.
NO Namby Pamby touchie feel crap is allowed!
No talking about computers or cell phones unless there was a pool of blood and you had to Rambo stitch yourself up..
No talking about changing diapers unless you left the diaper on the exhaust manifold of your neighbor's car who's always calling the cops.
Basic Rules for posting.
We're rated R, therefore ...No pornography... Unacceptable Profanity: the C-words.
ALL pic links posted MUST apply to the story at hand or the Pic be worth 1000 words.
[b]Absolutely NO talking about stocks in any part of any post.[/b]
Acceptable Profanity: Ass, Shit, Damn, Friggin, Bitch, Bastard, etc... Some abbreviations: SOB, POS, WTF, RTFLMAO etc... Farscape & Battlestar Galactica profanity allowed.
Use common sense and the same goes for jokes told.
I hate having to remove a great post because it goes too far. It's ok to make a preacher blush, but not faint.
We are not here to compete with the Guy's Room or any other board.
This is like when men are out on a hunting or fishing trip, sitting around a fire and the story swapping gets competitive and you sometimes hear things so outrageous you fall over laughing or you go home and buy that new programmer for your truck so it too will have MORE POWER.
I'm open to suggestions for IBox graphics...PM me the links when you have a good one...We're a work in progress.....Have fun!
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