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Tea Party Poems

The found poetry of Sarah Palin.

By Hart Seely
Posted Tuesday, May 25, 2010, at 6:07 PM ET

Every time Sarah Palin speaks publicly—on Fox News, at Tea Party rallies, or just for the big paycheck—she manages to insert a few phrases that sound like nursery rhymes into her speech. The following have vaulted verbatim from Palin's tongue to the page. No words have been changed.

*

"That Mr. Klein Is No Pal of Mine"

What a piece of work
That Mr. Klein is!
For the piece
That he wrote, that is

Something else, you know
You would hope,
That the powers that
Be at a, quote, unquote,

"Reputable" organization
Like Time magazine
That they would hold
Their employee-e-e—

And I assume that
Mr. Klein gets paid
For the columns that
He writes—that they

Would hold their employee
… ACCOUNTABLE!

—Hannity, Fox News, April 27, 2010
[ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,591654,00.html ]

*

"Energy Destiny"

Great destiny, our destiny!
To be reached by—responsibly!
Developing our natural resources, this land,
Blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, and:
Oil and gas! It's energy!

GOD GAVE US ENERGY!

—Resignation speech as governor of Alaska, July 3, 2009
[ http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/07/full-text-of-palins-resignation-speech.php
( http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/read_msg.aspx?message_id=39265453 , http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/read_msg.aspx?message_id=39266223 )]

*

"Governor Jan Brewer Had It To Do, Too"

To help protect the citizens
Of her state she had to do
What the federal government
Has refused to do!

And that is help secure the borders;
I think it's shameful, too,
That the Obama administration
Has allowed, too, this, too!

—Hannity, Fox News, April 27, 2010
[ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,591654,00.html ]

*

"Blue Dog Peekaboo"

Blue-dog Democrats
Peeking under the tent.
You know …

… and finding out,
WHAT IS THIS MOVEMENT ALL ABOUT?
And Holy Geez! I'm scared!

—Interview with Tea Party Nation questioners, CNN, Feb. 6, 2010
[ http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1002/06/cnr.09.html ]

*

"Signs"

I.

Signs we read out there in the rallies.
One of them I saw yesterday
Said, "I can see freedom from my house."
I think they were quoting Tina Fey.

II.

Usually, if there's a bad poster out there,
I pretend I don't even see it; but yesterday
I could not miss it; they were these life-size
pictures of naked people. I was like, OK …

—speech in Hamilton, Ontario, April 15, 2010
[ http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/an-intimate-evening-with-sarah-palin/article1537275/ ]

*

"On- and Offshore"

There are hundreds of trillions more
undiscovered both on shore and offshore.
Just piles of energy in that part
of North America that again
can be tapped responsibly
… and make us all secure!

—Speech in Hamilton, Ontario, April 15, 2010
[ http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/an-intimate-evening-with-sarah-palin/article1537275/ ]

*

"Prayer Before Debating Joe Biden"

I.

I said, "Piper, 'kay,
I'm going out onstage.
I'm debatin' this guy,
it's going to be kind
of tough," I said. "SO PRAY!"

II.

I said, "Piper, just pray
that I win, 'cause you know,
why not, just pray that
I do well—and, oh!,

Man, try and keep it
easy," I said. "JUST PRAY!"

—speech in Hamilton, Ontario, April 15, 2010
[ http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/an-intimate-evening-with-sarah-palin/article1537275/ ]

*

"Ode to Hamilton"

To help other people
… and, um,
It's wonderful to be in
… Hamilton.
I got to go—
… for a run.

—speech in Hamilton, Ontario, April 15, 2010
[ http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/an-intimate-evening-with-sarah-palin/article1537275/ ]

*

"In the Arena for Carly Fiorina"

I.

Contested primaries! So I'm glad to see
The contest in California's GOP.
But I support Carly! ... As she
Fights through a tough primary
Against a liberal member of the GOP!

II.

We have a real chance
Of putting an end to
The Pelosi/Reid big
Government agenda!

—Facebook note, May 6, 2010
[ http://www.facebook.com/notes/sarah-palin/lets-shake-it-up-in-california-updated/386510153434 ]

*

"I'm Sick and Tired"

I'm sick and tired
… of hearing about
Obama and the White House
… coming out

WITH YET ANOTHER CRISIS!

—Hannity, Fox News, April 27, 2010
[ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,591654,00.html ]

*

"No Flow"

I.

To just hunker down
And go with the flow?
Nah, only dead fish
Go with the flow. NO!

II.

There is such a need
To build up and fight!
For our state and our country.
I choose to FIGHT.

III.

I will support you
Because we need you,
And you can effect change,
And I can, TOO!

—Resignation speech as governor of Alaska, July 3, 2009
[ http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/07/full-text-of-palins-resignation-speech.php
( http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/read_msg.aspx?message_id=39265453 , http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/read_msg.aspx?message_id=39266223 )]

*

"On Rand Paul"

A bit of a libertarian,
But, you know,
Heaven forbid
That we go

The opposite direction
Of a libertarian
And what they
Are believing in!

—Hannity, Fox News, May 18, 2010
[ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,593166,00.html ]

*

"On Mark Critz"

A Democrat, he won!
He was pro-life, pro-gun!
Anti-Obamacare,
And he won there!
In a district where
Democrats outnumber Republicans—two to one!

—Fox News Sunday, May 23, 2010
[ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,593404,00.html ]

*

"It's Not About Me"

You know, this is not about me.
But I do appreciate the
Platform that I've been given,
The opportunities that I have to be

Out there speaking to these
Good, hard-working, average, everyday,
Patriotic Americans who want to see
The positive change in our country.

—Fox News Sunday, May 23, 2010
[ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,593404,00.html ]

*

Hart Seely is the author of Mrs. Goose Goes to Washington: Nursery Rhymes for the Political Barnyard [ http://www.amazon.com/Mrs-Goose-Goes-Washington-Political/dp/1416538062 ].

© Copyright 2010 Washington Post.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC

http://www.slate.com/id/2254973/ [with comments]


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