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Our protein of the future.
Marriage Hack. pic.twitter.com/ecw2o9zdAf
— Mrs. S. (@hshLauraJ) May 1, 2024
— TheyCallMeDoc (@TheyCallMeDoc1) April 30, 2024
Sweet husband completes the mood 😬😂 pic.twitter.com/i7XvxT8da4
— Templar⚔️ (@aTeXan575) April 29, 2024
lizzie borden
😳😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/IUzo0PbDah
— Ginalilvol (@Ginalilvol) April 28, 2024
😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 pic.twitter.com/g7eBKMVulg
— 🦋🦋CutThroatClassy🦋🦋 (@MakingtheDoh) April 24, 2024
Oh lord 🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/yoeRLNeozM
— 🦋🦋CutThroatClassy🦋🦋 (@MakingtheDoh) April 25, 2024
Uh oh 🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/07m0j9UzFG
— 🦋🦋CutThroatClassy🦋🦋 (@MakingtheDoh) April 24, 2024
A random repeat. Was a perfect fit for the board and still is!
A teacher was explaining biology to her third grade students.
She said, "Human beings are the only creatures that studder."
A little girl raised her hand, saying, "I once had a cat that stuttered."
The teacher asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was In the backyard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lived next door jumped over the fence into our yard!"
The teacher said, "That must have been scary!"
The little girl said, "It sure was.
My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss, Sssss, Sssss,' and before she could say 'Sh*t' the dog ate her.
I'll show myself out but I want my like dadgummit!!
One day a politician's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the politician tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the politician finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the politician's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.
Enough of that crap…
The donkey later came back and bit the sh*t out of the politician who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected, and the politician eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY’S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
Brutal 😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/omjCxyaTV2
— Becs 🇬🇧 (@becs2986) April 22, 2024
I can't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
put a couple on mens campfire---- https://investorshub.advfn.com/Mens-Campfire-9931
Run! This is unprecedented! Who knows what is coming next!!!!
Now this is some good advice! Thanks!
I'd like to have a word with you re. this advice. Still pulling stingers out of my face! 😵
Asking for a friend. 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/usGBaG3PbX
— 🇺🇸𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓭🇺🇸𝓗𝓪𝓻𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓷🇺🇸 (@Texas_jeep__guy) April 19, 2024
GOOD FRIDAY MORNING! As you plan your chores for this weekend, I would like to share another pearl of wisdom.....👇 pic.twitter.com/0lfsQlB6xB
— Dave LC (@DaveCarver20) April 19, 2024
Had to post. pic.twitter.com/8gcnHl0i3C
— TheyCallMeDoc (@TheyCallMeDoc1) April 19, 2024
— 1776 2.0? (@ChrisSi39851937) April 18, 2024
A classic and still thoughtful and true answer.
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that moment, I would have needed to clarify that men ponder deeply on diverse subjects, sparking further inquiries.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
Do you watch reality shows and talent shows??? pic.twitter.com/0QapKLrP5f
— Lorraine Y (@kenyladyde) April 18, 2024
— Charles Palmer (@Charles02339637) April 18, 2024
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