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The queen and Dolly go to heaven.
Queen and Dolly
die on the same day and they both go
before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day,
so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular
reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these,
they're the most perfect breasts God ever created,
and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see
them every day, for eternity.'
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the
same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier
out of her purse, drinks it down
Then, wees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, 'OK, your Majesty, you may go in.'
Dolly is outraged and asks, 'What was that all about?
I show you two of God's own perfect creations and
you turn me down. She wees into a toilet and she gets in!
Would you explain that to me?'
'Sorry, Dolly,' says the Angel, 'but even in Heaven,
A Royal Flush
Beats a Pair - No Matter How Big They Are
Subject: Errors on Obama's Birth Certificate?
HMMMMMM! “Very Interesting Bit Of Detective Work” 1. Back in 1961 people of color were called 'Negroes.' So how can the Obama 'birth certificate' state he is 'African-American' when the term wasn't even used at that time? 2. The birth certificate that the White House released lists Obama's birth as August 4, 1961. It also lists Barack Hussein Obama as his father. No big deal, right? At the time of Obama's birth, it also shows that his father is aged 25 years old, and that Obama's father was born in " Kenya, East Africa ". This wouldn't seem like anything of concern, except the fact that Kenya did not even exist until 1963, two whole years after Obama's birth, and 27 years after his father's birth. How could Obama's father have been born in a country that did not yet exist? Up and until Kenya was formed in 1963, it was known as the "British East Africa Protectorate". 3. On the birth certificate released by the White House, the listed place of birth is "Kapi'olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital". This cannot be, because the hospital(s) in question in 1961 were called "KauiKeolani Children's Hospital" and "Kapi'olani Maternity Home", respectively. The name did not change to Kapi'olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital until 1978, when these two hospitals merged. How can this particular name of the hospital be on a birth certificate dated 1961 if this name had not yet been applied to it until 1978? Resources: http://www.kapiolani.org/women-and-children/about-us/default.aspx%C2%A0Post-colonial history (from Wikipedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Kenya%C2%A0http%3a//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenya; Why hasn't this been discussed in the major media?????
Please send this to everyone you know with the hope that we can force the media as well OUR NATION to address this CORRUPTION.
=
LOL....looking forward to the game and Madonna at half time!!!!!
Maybe we'll have another wardrobe malfunction...LOL.
LMAO, here we go again
LOL....I like to see NY vs. NE in Superbowl.
Essentially the Boston - New York rivalry like in hoops and baseball.
Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde Obama III
Astronautics Project Manager
MF GLOBAL NIGERIA 4-1-9
Plot 555 Wall Street Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja,
FCT NIGERIA
Dear Mr. Sir,
URGENT ELECTRONIC EMAIL REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
I am Dr. Bakare Tunde Obama III, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Barrister Jon Corzine. He was the first African commodities broker in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo destinated to the good offices of JP Morgan & Co. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time.
He is in good humor, but wants to come home.
In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated and segregated customer accounts, flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 1.5 billion American Dollars. This is held in a Madoff trust at JP Morgan's Lagos Branch. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 30,000,000 American Dollars.
In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.
Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as licensed commodities brokers are prohibited by the Chicago Metal's Exchange Code of Conduct Bureau (and CFTC Laws) from opening and/ or operating customer accounts in our own names during normal CME trading hours.
Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental hedging expenses (internal and external) between the counter parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other commingled accounts in due course.
Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.
Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Bakare Tunde Obama III
Astronautics Project Manager
MF GLOBAL
NIGERIA 4-1-9
http://investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2012/1/12/yqdhsmf2.jpg
You bet!.....ATRN looking like a multi-day runner.
The RSI (27.7) > huge upside potential
Duke Ellington
TAKE THE "A" TRAIN:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHRbEhLj540
LOL ....In my opinion, the train is just
starting to leave the station.
traded 105M today, and interest is growing
by the hour.
but i did call it
https://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/read_msg.aspx?message_id=70187867
and then kept telling myself good thing i didn't buy
yep, its about time. that thing took forever
ATRN looking solid for continued run.
A Letter from Kim Jong-un
POSTED January 2, 2012
http://www.borowitzreport.com/
To the People of Iowa
PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report) – The following is a letter from Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of North Korea, to the people of Iowa.
Dear Voters of Iowa:
In December I became Supreme Leader of North Korea. Pretty amazing development for a twentysomething who at the time was still living at home and spending all day playing Angry Birds. But there I was, receiving the cheers of millions of North Koreans, who usually don’t get that excited unless they’ve caught sight of a pork sandwich. (LOL)
Here is why I am writing to you today: on Tuesday, you will go to your caucuses and choose from among a field of Republican presidential candidates. And let me tell you, the idea of any of these people getting nuclear weapons scares the shit out of me.
This is just one of many differences between your country and mine. In North Korea, we lock up the criminally insane. In America, you let them debate on TV. Right now you have people running for President I would not trust to take care of my plants.
So who do I recommend you vote for on Tuesday? In a word, me.
If you think about it, I am the most Republican candidate of all. In North Korea, we have no taxes. We have achieved that through a conservative policy of no jobs. Also, we have no wasteful “big government” programs providing food, shelter, or safe drinking water. And am I pro-life? Well, try this on for size: I believe that life begins at conception and ends at starvation.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: I’m too young to be President, since I’m under 35. Well, who would you rather have running your country, someone who’s under 35, or someone whose IQ is under 35? (LOL)
I think when you look at all the facts, voters of Iowa, you’ll realize that Kim Jong-un is the Republican who most deserves your vote. And if you’re still not convinced, remember this: at least I’m not Mitt Romney. Peace out yo, Your Supreme Leader
lol, from another board...
Dear Abby,
My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge
credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he
shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and
let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with
the interest.
Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of
them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he
has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more.
Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and
the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's
with Muslims.
Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the
same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly
creepy!
Can you help?
Signed,
Lost
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Lost,
Stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the White House for free,
travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you.
You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with
the idiot for another year!
Signed,
Abby
ROFLMFAO !!!
Time for an update on the fraud case at Spongetech Delivery Systems, the company that used to be a prominent advertiser at Knicks and Mets games, yet just couldn’t seem to find a market for its SpongeBob SquarePants sponges. So executives just went ahead and made up 99% of their sales out of thin air, or so prosecutors allege.
The story now has a tasty twist, involving an Italian restaurant of the kind described in the Billy Joel song.
Before getting into that, it’s worth noting that it’s getting lonely at the top for former Spongetech CEO Michael Metter. The resident of Greenwich, Conn., a former stockbroker with a long history of customer complaints, is the lone defendant in the criminal case to not plead guilty or announce plans to do so.
Earlier this week, a gentleman named Andrew “Avi” Tepfer declared that he plans to plead guilty early next year, which would make him the sixth person in the case to do so. Mr. Tepfer is a stockbroker and alleged to have helped Mr. Metter and former Chief Operating Officer Steven Moskowitz sell their shares to gullible investors at inflated prices. Mr. Moskowitz, of Kew Garden Hills, Queens, pleaded guilty earlier this year.
Meanwhile, the Securities and Exchange Commission earlier this week announced that it had settled a civil suit against a Hoboken man named Myron Weiner, who agreed to return $1.3 million in ill-gotten gains from selling Spongetech’s stock. Mr. Weiner has owned a restaurant in New York since 1973, according to the SEC complaint, and a quick check on the Web shows it’s John’s of 12th Street in the East Village. I called the restaurant, but was told Mr. Weiner wasn’t available.
One reviewer on Yelp described John’s thusly: “It reminded me of the crappy apartment my relatives had in Jersey and cooked for days to prepare for our arrival….It’s not a gorgeous place but it has charm.” Another, more charitably, described it as a place Cary Grant would fit in just fine. Several reviewers liked the food and singled out the vegan options for praise.
According to the SEC, Messrs. Metter and Weiner go way back. To 1970, to be specific, when Mr. Weiner worked a brokerage firm called Kenneth Bove. That firm closed in 1976 and a year later Mr. Bove and two other executives pled guilty to criminal fraud charges.
Messrs. Metter and Weiner stayed close through it all, with Mr. Weiner making several investments with Mr. Metter over the ensuing four decades, according to the SEC. In 2001, Mr. Metter gave him 13 shares as a gift in a company he controlled called RM Enterprises. The SEC is now seeking $52 million in disgorgement from RM in the Spongetech matter.
In July 2009, the SEC said, RM allowed Mr. Weiner to acquire 10 million restricted Spongetech shares for 5 cents a piece, a significant discount on the stock’s market price of 17 cents a share at the time. Two months later, Mr. Weiner sold most of the stock for a net profit of $1.2 million, which he agreed to give up as part of his settlement.
http://mycrains.crainsnewyork.com/blogs/in-the-markets/2011/12/spongetech-and-the-pizza-connection/#ixzz1hShNLmxn
if your ever in Allentown PA.
http://www.mipiacepa.com/index.html
two investment bankers and the wife and two kids plus dog of one who was the pilot. i was watching some of it live on local news and there where many smaller duffel bag size body bags being logged by the coroner. entire cabin disintegrated
Wow....not much of anything left there....Audio wasnt good on the clip.....how many people in it?
this one was pretty bad...
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2011/12/1nj_plane_crash_authorities_di.html
North Koreans weeping hysterically over the death of Kim Jong-il
Hey Pres these fools are fake crying so they don’t get massacred by his son
LMAO ! thinking that too, i think the neighbors would enjoy it
I want one of those!!
DUM spelled backwards...
http://www.businessinsider.com/stu-bohart-fortress-investment-2011-12
how ya doing bud, how about one of these...
500 ounce Monster box of 99.9 silver eagles.
i had to have it...
and i got 2 of them bad boy (ladies)
Mitt, Newt, Ni!!
should be a good debate
Preacher and a pigeon took me to the cleaners
Commentary: Setting aside your skepticism sometimes will fail you
Nov. 25, 2011, 11:57 a.m. EST
By Al Lewis
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/preacher-and-a-pigeon-took-me-to-the-cleaners-2011-11-25?mod=MWCommentaryandBlogs&mod=marketwatch
NEW YORK (MarketWatch) — A Long Island man sent me an email, making a remarkable claim:
“I have the unique ability to tell what a person does for a living by quickly studying someone’s face,” he wrote. “I could pinpoint ... a pilot, doctor, chemical engineer ... just about any career.”
“If you put teachers in a room, I could tell you with stunning accuracy whether they taught English, math, history...science, etc.,” he continued. “If you put a policeman and a fireman in the same room with just a T-shirt, I could tell you who does what.”
The man said he was both a pastor and a career coach, dedicated to helping people with grueling life decisions. So what did I decide? Well, during a recent trip to New York, I gave him a call and listened to his spiel for more than an hour.
I set aside much of my initial skepticism after he explained that his “gift” was not based upon the Holy Ghost, psychic phenomena, extraterrestrial technology, or anything that would totally strain credulity.
He said he simply had a knack for recognizing subtle facial patterns that, it turns out, are telltale signs of what people do for a living. He claimed an accuracy rate of more than 95%.
Hey, we’ve all seen a cop who looks just like a cop. So I began pondering a profound question: Does one’s face shape one’s destiny, or does one’s destiny shape one’s face?
My inquiring mind wanted to know. So I talked a senior multimedia producer at the Wall Street Journal into assigning me a cameraman. Now, this is a valuable resource that could be dedicated to covering important news. But I decided to deploy it on a magic show.
I stood on the bustling corner of Sixth Avenue and 47th Street, outside News Corp. headquarters, sporting my good suit, wielding a WSJ.com microphone, and using my on-camera charms to coax passersby into the act.
“Write what you do for a living on this pad,” I instructed innocent bystanders. “But don’t show it to anyone. Then, this man will study your face, and within a few moments he’ll guess what you do. Just by looking at your face!”
I had asked a woman who works at the Wall Street Journal to walk by and pretend not to know me. I wanted a control subject in the experiment. The man studied her face and swiftly guessed she worked in finance.
“No, I don’t work in finance,” she said.
“But you work with numbers?” he continued.
“No, I don’t work with numbers,” she said.
“She works at the Journal,” I confessed.
“See, that’s finance,” the man declared.
“But I don’t do anything related to finance,” my colleague insisted.
“Well, I’m going to give him that one,” I declared. “The Wall Street Journal is synonymous with finance.”
I figured my show would only get better from here. Onto the next subject, and the next, and the next.
The man guessed a woman who worked as a beautician was a corporate executive.
He guessed that a man who worked as a public relations professional was an investment banker.
He guessed that a man who worked in information technology was a cop.
“Well, are you in the security end of information technology?” he asked.
“No.”
No matter how many guesses he got wrong, the man would not accept failure. He wanted to keep going. We went through nearly a dozen subjects. He didn’t get one right.
After more than an hour of this, my amazingly patient cameraman signaled it was time to cut it off. But the man complained we weren’t giving him enough time. He said he needed more subjects. He said he couldn’t understand our disbelief.
The man wanted to believe. He wanted us to believe. And as I pointed out that all of his failed guesses were caught on camera, my trusty cameraman made a bee-line for the office.
So I stood there, in the streets of New York, arguing about an alleged 95% accuracy rate, while the man kept saying he was disappointed that we didn’t believe him, and sorry that we couldn’t give him more time, and that he was really pretty close on most of his calls.
Like a rube from Denver, I felt sorry for the guy. I still feel sorry for him, which is why I left his name out of a column that is really about what a chump I am.
The man had a glassy bald head, and as he shamelessly defended his performance, one of the gooiest pigeon droppings I have ever seen splattered across his skull. Some of it splashed from his forehead onto my suit jacket.
I looked up in amazement. There was a ledge, about three stories up. Literally, scores of gyrating pigeon tails were hanging over it.
It was only then that reality finally dawned on me: The odds of this guy getting pelted in the head by a pigeon were far greater than the odds of him ever guessing what anyone did for a living.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/preacher-and-a-pigeon-took-me-to-the-cleaners-2011-11-25?mod=MWCommentaryandBlogs&mod=marketwatch
some crazy shit there huh.....but all too true.
Dont see us ever getting out of this mess
This is very short, non political but affects each one of us.
Trick or Treat Canceled...
due to downed trees and power outages in the tri state aria there will be no trick or treat.
it appears the trick or treaters have taken to time square to protest...
heres the dip
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